One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age is isolation and loneliness. In order to build and maintain relationships there are a number of simple skills, which can be learned, to enhance the opportunity to find and keep friends.
All likeable people behave in certain ways. They literally have a "magnetic" personality drawing others to them. The advantages of being likeable are numerous, including higher grades and income, self-esteem, better health, longer life and happiness and well-being. Here are the five tricks you or your child can do today to increase likeability.
1. Be helpful. Studies show that "helpfulness correlates more strongly than any other attribute" with being well liked, says Haara Estroff Marno, author of Why Doesn't Anyone Like Me? Be aware of opportunities to help on a big scale, such as volunteering for projects and assisting others. Give service and teach your child to look for small ways to help others on a daily basis.
2. Liking who you are. When people feel good about themselves, they are more content and less likely to personalize every situation and comment. Develop a skill or hobby that makes you feel good and that brings joy, you don't have to be perfect at it. Just enjoying an activity and doing reasonably well will boost anyone's self-esteem. Make it a habit to end every night on a positive. Either in a journal or verbally list five things you are grateful for or that you have succeeded at in the day. Develop an attitude of gratitude.
Focus on the positive and celebrate and acknowledge your successes.
3. Say hello first. Friendly people put others at ease. Many people are hesitant to say hello because they fear rejection. But think about it, have you ever gotten mad at someone who says hello to you? Even if people don't return the greeting, they may just be pre-occupied. There is an unofficial rule about customer service that can apply to life as well; smile if someone comes within 10 feet of you, greet with a word or nod anyone within 3 feet of you. Smile with your mouth and your eyes. People who smile are perceived as friendly and approachable. A smile says, "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you." To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.
4. Be aware of the message your appearance says about you. Whether we like it or not, people are judged by they way they look and act. If they look enough like everyone else, they will be more acceptable. If they stick out, they risk not fitting in. Those who develop their own unique style of dress must have the moxie and confidence to carry it off. Then it is an attribute. Your appearance, table manners, tone of voice and respect of space sends an instant message before you have a chance to explain who you are and to build a relationship.
5. Recognize the power of body language. Verbal language is the language of information and is only recognized and remembered 20%. Non-verbal or body language is the language of relationships and is acknowledged and remembered 80%. If your body is not responding according to your message, no one will hear or believe what you say. Practice and role-play so that your facial expressions, posture and hand movements are in accordance with the message you want to share with others.
We like someone because, we love someone although. So give people a number of reasons to like you.
© 2004 Judy H. Wright, Personal Historian, Parent Educator and Author - www.artichokepress.com
This handout has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at www.ArtichokePress.com. To contact us, please write judywright@artichokepress.com or call 406-549-9813.
You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
Demanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
The initial state of happiness about an own child is... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
By not planning for the future we guarantee that we... Read More
Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More
Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a... Read More
In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More
As a parent there are lots of things that you... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
Prioritize. Learn to say No. Steal some time for yourself.Don't... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine,... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a... Read More
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
? Let the child choose his or her own lunch... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier,... Read More
We take it for granted that children know how money... Read More
One of the most difficult parts of being a father... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
Parenting |