What is Incest?

Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between family members who aren't married to one another. State laws vary regarding the type of sexual activity and also on what constitutes the type of kinship that indicates incest rather than just sexual abuse.

Some definitions include teachers, neighbors, step families, baby sitters, ministers/priests and others who are in the circle of influence of a child and have established an emotional bond. That is why it is so hard to get substantiated statistics, because referring to the same thing by different names and different things by the same name often creates confusion.

Incest has been cited as the most common form of child abuse and yet it is an extremely under-reported crime. This type of abuse and betrayal of trust has the most potential for psychological and emotional harm to children. Incest has been called a violation of the child where he or she lives by a person who has trust and authority over them. A child molested by a stranger can run home for help and comfort. A victim of incest cannot. Who commits incest?

Generally it is considered incest if the child has been used in a sexual manner by: fathers, or step-fathers, mothers, or step-mothers, brothers, sisters or cousins as well as members of their extended family such as grandparents, aunts and uncles.

? In cases of incest, is there just one child abused?

Sometimes the oldest child, or the girl, or one who is handicapped, or the one with long hair or it could be all of the children. There is no way to determine what the pattern of fantasy an offender has. If a grandfather is found to be abusing a ten year old granddaughter, it would be wise to err on the side of caution and protect all the children. He should be held accountable for his acts, whether it was one child or a multi-generational cycle of abuse.

Incest can happen in any family and can happen one time or be an on-going problem. People who were themselves victims of physical and sexual abuse may not know any other way to relate to their children. Boundaries are crossed and sacred trusts are broken. Sometimes there is confusion in family roles and if the parent is absent, either physically or emotionally, the child is forced into that role. Sometimes an adult will rationalize what they are doing is a "service" to the child to teach them about sex and prepare them for adulthood.

Whatever the reason or the excuse the offender uses, it is wrong! Adults are responsible for protecting, loving and nurturing children, not traumatizing and hurting them.

Incest becomes very confusing for the child involved. Many times the perpetrator really does love and value the child, but chooses an inappropriate way of expressing that love.

© Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, www.ArtichokePress.com

This article was written by Judy Wright, parent educator and author. Feel free to use it in your newsletter or publication, but please give full credit to the author and mention the contact information of JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com, 406-549-9813.

You will find a full listing of books, tapes, newsletters and workshops available on finding the heart of the story in the journey of life by going to www.ArtichokePress.com

---

Childrens Safety in Public Places - 10 Useful Tips

My kids ask me all the time to take them... Read More

Sibling Fighting - Reduce Sibling Rivalry by NOT Keeping Score

Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon... Read More

Children are People, Not Machines

When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Avoid Aging Parents Becoming A Burden

By not planning for the future we guarantee that we... Read More

How Well Do You Know Your Child?

Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More

Gaining a Child?s Trust

My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More

To Test or Not To Test - That Is the Question

Little Suzy has really been having a hard time getting... Read More

Parenting in the Kitchen ? Lessons in Cooking, Socializing, and Bonding

Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More

Lets Pretend

Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More

PG Rating Isnt What It Used To Be

If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More

Your Kids Career - Whose Choice?

A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More

Potty Training ?To Train or Not to Train?

I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More

Unique Baby Names

What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More

Creating a Memorable Travel Journal Using A Stuffed Animal

You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More

Your Company Vehicle is a Portable Bill Board; A word of advice on children passengers

Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More

Clean Your House Green for your Children?s Sake

My thirteen-year-old daughter recently called me up to say she... Read More

What Do Chinese Water Torture and Arguing with Children Have in Common?

Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More

Ten Ways to Help Your Child Make Friends

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More

Americas Public schools --- Deteriorating Like They Did In Ancient Rome

The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education... Read More

Why Fathers Are Such a Necessary Component in the Raising of Their Children.

The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More

Reading Activities Parents Can Use For Their Children

Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More

How to Raise Creative Kids

"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More

Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a... Read More

Small Children, Languages and Myths

Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More

How Effective Are Ritalin and Dexedrine in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More

Picky Eater Syndrome

'Picky Eater' is a label coined to describe the phenomenon... Read More

What You Should Know About Counseling for Attention Deficit Disorder

At the ADHD Information Library we are big believers that... Read More

Helping Your Child to Deal with Change

Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More

10 Things You Can Do To Help A Shy Child

There are a few points about shyness in children which... Read More

Over-Focused ADHD

The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More

A Good Preschool Idea

The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More

An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 7 Tips for Back to School Success

Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More