As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when we mature; we mature when we become responsible.
Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated or moved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach this principal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they will gain or lose by the choices they make.
Personal Responsiblity is an ever widening circle of people, places and events affected by our decisions. In the center of that circle, an area which many people never get beyond is:
ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person. Examples are: Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. My choices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt only me.
The next circle of influence is:
YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like and approve of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility to those who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I am wrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard other people's resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affect my daily life.
And as we mature and become more sensitive, we are concerned about:
US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us. Some people and organizations I know, some I don't know yet, but they are a part of my extended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesy and service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers, school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individual actions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form of recommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.
The widest rim of the circle is to those we may or may not know:
The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make the world a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth, eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. The Universe may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doing right and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have a responsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentions towards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.
As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible as early as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think and choose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, they will grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life and contribute to the well being of the group.
Assuming personal responsibility is the ultimate goal of growing up. So the answer to the question,Who, me? is Yes, you.
(c) Judy H. Wright, www.ArtichokePress.com
This handout© 2003 has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at http://www.ArtichokePress.com. To contact us, please write JudyWright@Artichokepress.com or call 406-549-9813.
Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More
Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More
Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More
Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More
Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,... Read More
We take it for granted that children know how money... Read More
Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More
As a parent you will be asked to assist with... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
A fun way to build your child's imaginationWriting is still... Read More
Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More
Diapers..Changing a dirty diaper is not the best part of... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
"Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More
Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
As our children grow, they will be going to schools... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
Have you ever had this struggle with your teens? Did... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
I don't know how people raise daughters because I have... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
Parenting |