Would You Know if Your Child Were Being Bullied? 4 Tips to Keep Them From Becoming a Victim

The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to Keep Your Kid From Being a Victim

Children bullying other children has been an issue since there were children, and though it has often been downplayed as "part of growing up," it has always had potentially serious implications from an emotional perspective.

But these days, due to a host of factors such as our society's glorification of celebrity and being popular, violence in mass media, and easy access to deadly weapons, the implications can be especially risky. At the extreme, in many of the school shootings over the last decade, the perpetrators were withdrawn students who had a history of being bullied. Though still largely ignored or discounted as a minor issue, bullying is a very serious - and growing - problem.

According to a new study of two schools by UCLA researchers, 47 percent of sixth graders in one school and 46 percent in the other said they'd been bullied at least once during a five-day period.

Bullying can take on many forms-name calling, teasing, spreading rumors, physical aggression-and the end result can be tragic, both for the victim and the bully. After being teased, even if it's "just joking around," kids are seriously affected, and verbal abuse happens twice as often as physical abuse, according to the UCLA study that was published in the March/April issue of the journal Child Development.

"The students who were beat up and those who were called names were equally bothered. Kids reported feeling humiliated, anxious or disliking school on days when they reported incidents, which shows there is no such thing as 'harmless' name-calling or an 'innocent' punch," said Jaana Juvonen, UCLA professor of psychology and co-author of the study.

When bullying gets bad enough, kids can end up missing school or worse. Back in 2002, one 12-year-old Connecticut boy who had missed 44 days of school as a result of bullying ending up committing suicide by hanging himself. Though suicide and school shootings demonstrate extremes of what can happen if a child is bullied, there are other lasting impacts that can occur.

Says Alice Pope, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychologyat St. John's University, the effects of bullying can last a lifetime and include lowered self-esteem, vulnerability to depression, problems with sexual relationships and, as mentioned above, suicide.

Victims of bullies are also more likely to report physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches and colds than kids who aren't bullied.

The bully, too, is more likely to have problems later in life, she says, ranging from lowered school attendance and performance to an increased likelihood of committing criminal acts. Bullies, like victims, also have a greater risk of depression and suicide.

So just how widespread is bullying?

"Bullying is a problem that large numbers of kids confront on a daily basis at school; it's not just an issue for the few unfortunate ones," said Juvonen. And the cycle of bullying is similar to that of a yo-yo dieter: the more a child is bullied, the more depressed, lonely and anxious they feel. This makes them want to avoid school, so their grades and social ties break down, while meanwhile making them more psychologically vulnerable to being bullied.

Children appear most likely to be bullied (or at least are most affected by bullying) between the ages of 11 and 13. Fortunately, as children get older, the likelihood of being bullied goes down.

Is Your Child Being Bullied?

A child who's bullied often exhibits some of these warning signs, says the National Mental Health Information Center:

* Becomes socially withdrawn or has poor social skills.

* Has few or no friends.

* Feels sad, alone, rejected, not liked, picked on or persecuted.

* Often complains of feeling sick.

* Doesn't want to go to school or skips school.

* Brings home damaged possessions or "loses" possessions often.

* Cries easily, talks of running away or suicide.

* Has changes in appetite and sleeping patterns.

* Threatens violence to self and others.

* Displays "victim" body language such as hung head or shoulders, avoiding eye contact.

* Tries to take "protection" to school (stick, knife, etc.).

4 Ways to Help Your Child From Becoming Bullied

Kids who have low self-esteem, few friends or lack social skills are often the targets of bullies, simply because they're less likely to fight back or pose a real challenge to the bully. The National Mental Health Information Center recommends that parents take the following four steps to prevent their kids from becoming a victim to a bully:

1. Instill self-confidence in your child.

2. Help your child establish good social skills.

3. Teach your child to speak out for him or herself.

4. Teach your child to seek help if harassed, from you and other caring adults.

What to do if Your Child is Being Bullied

Here are seven simple steps to take if you suspect your child is being bullied (see the box above for signs your child may be at risk), from the National Mental Health Information Center:

1. Make sure your child knows being bullied is not his or her fault.

2. Let your child know that he or she does not have to face being bullied alone.

3. Discuss ways of responding to bullies.

4. Teach your child to be assertive.

5. Tell your child not to react, but to ignore the bully, walk away and get help if pursued.

6. Tell your child to report bullying immediately to a trusted adult.

7. Contact the school/teacher.

For those of you interested in keeping your little one from becoming a bully, don't miss the article below, "9 Key Reasons for You and Your Family to Kill Your Television." It explains how 4-year-olds who watch a lot of TV are more likely to become bullies when they're older.

Sources
Science Daily April 11, 2005
Child Development. 2005 Mar-Apr;76(2):435-50
Bullies: More Than Sticks, Stones and Name Calling
Bullying Seen as Big School Problem
The National Mental Health Information Center
Focus on Social Issues

From the FREE SixWise.com e-newsletter, the Web's #1 most read newsletter with original articles in all 6 areas of life leading to complete wellness.

---

Develop Your Childs Genius: One Step Farther

When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More

Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names

As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More

The Secret To Keeping Kids Interested on Family Vacations

Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do... Read More

Violence in Media

In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More

Paediatric Osteopathy

All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More

Legacy to Your Children

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More

Really Good News About Your Children?s Video Games

Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green... Read More

The POWER of Reading

Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More

Be Serious With Your Child Future

As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More

?Mommy, I Can?t Sleep!?: Sleep Disturbance in Children

Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!Are you often a participant in... Read More

From Good to GREAT: Secrets On Becoming A Better Dad

While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More

Childs Play: Treating The Insanity of the Mental Health System

In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More

A Man and His Baby

When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More

Fundraising For Your Preschool Or Daycare Center

Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More

Financially Stable Kids ? Prepared for College

We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More

What is Child Sexual Abuse?

What is child sexual abuse? Any sexual activity that is... Read More

Ten Terrific Ideas for Rainy Day Fun

It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More

Caretaking Parents, Entitled Kids

Demanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More

The ADHD Parents Guide: Questions for the School

Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More

10 Points on Children for the New Parent

I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More

Unschooling - the Benefits of Home Based Education

Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More

Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means

Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More

How to Set Healthy Limits at Work

Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More

What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity

The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Traps to Avoid

4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize... Read More

Should The Dad-To-Be Attend The Birth?

Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More

How to Teach Anger Management to Your Child

Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More

A Chance for a Home

"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More

Helping Your Child Make and Keep Friends

What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More

Got To, Get To ? Change The Way Your Family Thinks

I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: Training Your Child for Success

This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More

Parents of Teens: Do You Ever Ask WHY is she so MEAN to me?

Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More

Empty Nest Syndrome

Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More