Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear

Dear Vijay,

I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four. They seem happy. Our family does things together. It is just that with so much that seems to be going wrong in the world, I fear that something will go wrong at home.

Hope you can help me, M.J.

Dear M.J.,

This really isn't a parenting question. It is a question about your own self and how you relate to life. Your children are simply the catalyst for energizing these issues for you. The fact that your feelings of unrest are manifesting in the guise of concern for your children just proves that negative energies don't play fair. They go for our soft spots, and they have no mercy.

You told me your story perfectly. But, you only needed to use two of the words you wrote: Worry and Fear. These are words that become self-fulfilling. The more you use them, the more powerful they become.

Whenever you have reoccurring feelings or emotions that get in the way of your personal sense of internal balance you are doing yourself and your whole family a favor by doing something to improve your mental/emotional landscape.

You have taken the first big step by recognizing that this area of your life is out of balance. Observation is key to knowing what is going on in life. Next you want to come up with creative solutions to your situation. Remember, you aren't trying to go to war with yourself over this issue. What you are trying to do is redirect energy that is heading in what you would consider to be a negative direction, and turn it towards a positive direction.

Here is an idea to show you how this works:

Go on a diet. Not a food diet, but a worry/fear diet. That means you consciously abstain from worrying or being fearful for periods of time. Of course as soon as you go on a diet (as with food) you become intensely aware of the very thing that you are trying to forget!

The key is to remember that you aren't trying to fight with yourself. You are trying to redirect negative energy into a positive direction.

If you take some quiet time to search inside yourself for creative ideas I bet you will come up with some fun and inventive ways that fit your own situation perfectly. If you get stuck for ideas, do a little brainstorming with a good friend.

Tip: You don't have to tell your friend that you are driving yourself nuts with worry/fear. That could create a negative image in their mind. Just tell them truthfully that you are looking for some fun ways to redirect your energies when you feel the need. They may end up trying the ideas themselves!

When you notice that you are starting to worry or be fearful (you want to catch yourself as quickly as possible before you build up a head of steam) then go directly to one of your redirection ideas. If the first one doesn't work, move right on to the next idea.

Here are some sample ideas:

  • Make silly faces in the mirror.

  • Exercise intensely. Activities that take mental, as well as, physical effort are particularly good.

  • Do a good deed for someone. Intense attention to others often takes us out of self-involved circles of thought.

  • Read the comics or a good book of humor.

  • Listen to joyful music.

  • Watch a light, happy movie.

  • Learn to meditate. Meditation is the most direct way to internally redirect our energies.

  • Affirm: I am joyful and energetic! Repeat this out loud ten to twenty times while walking in place and swinging your arms.

When you immerse yourself in almost any positive direction with energy and concentration you will find that negative energies lose their power and eventually fall away through neglect. This is a powerful truth that works in every facet of life.

Experiment with these ideas and let us know how things go.

Bless You,

Vijay

This column offers solutions to people who write in questions about how they can solve their life challenges through the formula described in the books, Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting, by Lawrence Vijay Girard

About The Author

Lawrence Vijay Girard is the author of Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting. As well as, his popular children's book, The Adventures of Harry Fruitgarden. You can find his books at: http://FruitgardenPublishing.Com

Please send your questions to Submissions@FruitgardenPublishing.Com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Speaking on Behalf of Our Children: Stop Blaming the Victims

How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More

Life Lessons Learned in My Underwear

For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More

ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend

Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More

Teaching Respect And Values In Todays Society

The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More

Healthy Eating For Children: Six Simple Rules

Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count!Everything your child eats should... Read More

People of the Century by Dan Rather

Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More

How to Foster a Love of Reading and Writing in Your Child

The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More

If at First They Dont Succeed - What a Great Opportunity!

When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and... Read More

Five Ways To Build Super-Strong Relationships With Your Children

One of the questions I ask in parenting presentations is... Read More

Parenting Your Adolescent: 3 Powerful Steps to Being an In-Charge Parent

Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More

The Science of Mother Love

A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More

Weathering Colic for New Parents

A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More

Putting Your Child To Bed

Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More

Potty Training ?To Train or Not to Train?

I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More

Using Diet, Counseling, and Attend to Overcome ADHD

When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More

Detox To Help Conception

Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More

Maximizing Your ADHD Childs Performance in School.

As a parent there are lots of things that you... Read More

Some Thoughts on Counseling Goals for ADHD

What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More

Saying No To Our Children

Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More

The Worlds Greatest Dad

You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More

Fizzy Sherbet ? A Sweet Science Lesson for Your Kids!

Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More

Raising A High Maintenance Child

Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More

Free Stuff for Twins: Incentives for Parents of Multiple Births

A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More

Natural Disasters: Help Your Child Cope With The Anxiety

How on earth can you help your family cope with... Read More

Who Will Be Their Guardian?

If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More

Let Your Children Name the New Baby

Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More

The Top 5 Reasons Why Unwed-Parents Must Establish Paternity

"It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More

Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences

If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More

Diapers: Do You Choose Disposable Or Reusable?

Diapers..Changing a dirty diaper is not the best part of... Read More

Tools to Find Family-Friendly Content

The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More

Dealing with Lying: The Dos and Donts

Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More

THE NEW SCHOOL VISIT: 5 Things to Look For

Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: Training Your Child for Success

This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More