Its a Sick World

It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy when your child is sick. But the most unjoy is when you AND your child are sick together.

That happened to my poor wife a few weeks ago. She and Little Lady, going on three years old, both had a cold -- with all the sneezing and wheezing, hacking and coughing, wailing and whining required for a certificate of authenticity.

Little Lady normally bubble-pops with zest and vigor. Actually "bursting at the seems, bouncing off the walls and ka-booming through the roof" would be a more accurate description. So it was quite eerie to see her mope around like the drooping leaves of a Siberian Peonies that's been fed too much stale beer...not that I have a clue how the drooping leaves of a Siberian Peonies that's been fed too much stale beer would look.

Every now and then, the moping would be punctuated with a sneeze. Little Lady has a most flamboyant sneezing style, adorning the walls in unique patterns. No corner of the room is safe when she sneezes. In fact, her projection has taught her baby sister in her playpen across the room the fine art of dodging.

While I was cleaning up Little Lady's flamboyance, my wife was trying to sooth a sore throat that was threatening to rip her very insides apart. Normally she doesn't drink tea. Normally we don't even use the kettle, except to heat water for warming up the baby's bottle.

But this day was different. My wife was sick and she wanted a cup of tea. So she turned on the already full kettle, waited for it to sing, poured the water over a tea bag and sat down to enjoy a soothing cup of tea.

I walked into the room. Frequent readers will recognize this critical error of mine from past columns. You'd think I would learn.

"This tea is soooo good, honey," she said.

"Uh, where did the water come from?"

"It was in the kettle. You know, not only is it soothing, but I feel like it's cleaning out my entire insides," she smiled.

"That wasn't water in the kettle."

"What was it?" her eyes were wide in alarm.

"CLR."

"Phfrttpfrt!!!!" she blurted out. Suddenly I felt like a soggy version of our sneeze-adorned walls. I love being part of a new fashion trend.

When both your wife and daughter are sick, housework suffers. Not only are there fewer hands to clean things up, but those hands are more needy than usual. So it was with particular pride that I had managed on day 4 of their cold to actually catch up on washing the dishes.

OK, so I didn't quite catch up, but I was at the point where the stove and the table were clear of dishes. This was partly due to my uncanny talent for balancing dirty dishes several layers high on the counter, but it was also partly due to an hour-and-a-half of washing. All I could think was, "Nobody had better use any of these dishes after I spent so much time washing them."

SNEEZE!!! Oh no...more flamboyance. I put down the dish cloth and headed to the living room to survey the damage.

As I entered the living room...SNEEZE!!! I was becoming a professional sponge. All I needed was a certificate of authenticity to prove my credentials.

Before I could decide what to do next, I heard the distinct sound of juice being mixed in the very juice pitcher I had just finished washing.

I darted for the kitchen. "Noooo. I just washed that pitcher. Don't dirty it already." I lunged at my startled wife, and it took only a second to realize how useful I would have been to the Dallas Cowboys. And how useless I was in our kitchen.

It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy when your child is sick. The most unjoy is when you AND your child are sick together. But if you want to be 100% free from all trace of joy, get sick while your child is sick and ask your sneeze-adorned husband to tackle you in the kitchen while you are trying to mix juice to wash the taste of CLR from your mouth.

About The Author

David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html

Read more humor articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.html

Or on personal growth and self-actualization: http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html

Info@thehappyguy.com

---

Water! Water Everywhere!

What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More

Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?

Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More

Useful Jogger Stroller Accessories

There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More

Parenting Skills - Five Ways To Turbo-Boost Your Confidence

The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More

Teacher Tips: Your Room Set-Up and ADHD Students

Thank you to all of our professional educators who dedicate... Read More

No Invitation Needed: Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3

I had my first two children on either side of... Read More

10 Universal Laws for Parents of Teens

1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More

Build Character with this Delicious Triple A Recipe!

Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More

How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Get Reported?

Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse... Read More

14 Romantic Time-Outs for Parents

Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More

The Ten Things That Successful Parents Do

1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More

Why Me?

Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More

Maturing As a Parent

I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More

Registering a Birth in Scotland

Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More

Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony

Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More

A Chart for Everything

For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More

From Good to GREAT: Secrets On Becoming A Better Dad

While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More

End Homework Battles

Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and... Read More

The Legend and Charm of The Tooth Fairy

The legend and myth of the Tooth Fairy is a... Read More

What Are Your Children Really Watching?

Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More

Toilet Terrors And Other Potty Training Fears

Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More

The Laid Back Parents Guide to Teaching Your Child to Read

At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Truth or Lie?

Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More

Visiting the Library

Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More

Teaching Preschool Color and Shapes with Family Games

My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More

Teenagers and What Parents Should Do About Them

Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More

Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a... Read More

?I?M OVERWHELMED? -- 5 Tips On How Parents Can Take Control Of Their Lives

Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want... Read More

Entering Their Imaginative World

In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all... Read More

Banishing Bedtime Blues

"My son won't go to bed at night without a... Read More

Financially Stable Kids ? Prepared for College

We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More

Who Are You When the Professional In You Meets Baby?

Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More

Muscle Pain And Children Do Not Mix

I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More