Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the type of childhood that may satisfy them in the short-term as their immediate needs are met, but in the long-term, leaves them ill-equipped to deal with some of the curve balls that are thrown their way?
The emergence of indoor playgrounds is an example of the lengths we go to not only provide a sanitised life for kids but to ensure that they never get bored (or even get wet and cold when they play)!
It helps sometimes to stand back and take stock of the type of childhood that we provide for our kids.
Here are 10 elements of a childhood that promotes resilience in children and young people.
A resiliency-promoting childhood has the following features:
1. Kids don't always get what they want. The Rolling Stones were right when they sang, "You can't always get what you want, but you can try" all those years ago.
2. They have plenty of opportunities to solve their own problems without adults trying to fix everything for them. Children will only develop their inner resources when given the opportunity to develop their resourcefulness.
3. Children are expected to help at home from a young age without being paid. That is how they learn to be useful.
4. Parental expectations for success are positive, realistic and based on child's interests and aptitudes rather than on adult wishes.
5. Children receive liberal amounts of encouragement but moderate amounts of praise. Praise is like French fries ? kids want them but they don't need them. They need something a little more substantial than quick fix, feel-good praise. They need something substantial like encouragement to help them grow and develop.
6. Children have plenty of free time to do three essential things ? play outside, have fun and to daydream. But they need to have the opportunity to initiate all three, rather than have them initiated by someone. These three essentials help insulate human beings when life gets out of control.
7. Children are involved in family decision-making so that they learn to impact positively on their environment.
8. Children have the opportunity to identify their strengths and then build on these to develop their unique identities through adolescence.
9. Children grow up in families that have their own rituals, rights of passage and celebrations. These rituals provide important anchors to children as they develop and grow away.
10. Resilient children need to be surrounded by resilient adults rather than adults who are continually stressed and have no real life outside from children and work. Begin a hobby is a good place to start if you feel that life is all work (and kids) and no fun.
Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
Summer Survival The... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More
The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers,... Read More
Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More
Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More
There are a few points about shyness in children which... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
"Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More
Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing... Read More
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
The learning and development of Australian kids is under threat... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
Parenting |