Using Pocket-money To Promote Independence In Kids

In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether it should be earned or only given when children behave well.

My belief is that children should receive pocket-money as their small share of the family-wealth just as they should share the workload at home. This is not to say that the family income is divided equally between all members. Rather, children are given a realistic sum of money, given their age, needs and ability to deal with money.

It makes sense to provide guidelines about spending including letting them know just what they are expected to buy. A child in lower primary school may get enough to purchase some sweets and one or two other items, whereas a child in upper primary school may get enough to cover lunch orders, bus money and some treats. An allowance that covers clothing can be useful for adolescents who can be very costly to outfit in the latest fashions. Let them know you will buy the basics items and that they can make up the difference between brand names and basic items from their pocket-money.

Pocket-money can teach children a great deal about goal-setting. By encouraging children to save for a big ticket item such as a bike or skateboard children learn a great deal about planning and looking ahead, the value of budgeting and experience personal satisfaction of reaching a goal

When used in this way, pocket-money is an excellent way to develop independence in children and young people.

But my children don't spend money wisely! It helps if you give them guidance from the start and also insist that they divide their pocket-money three ways ? some for spending, some for the future and some for charity or a social service. I am loathe to interfere too much in their spending as it is their share of the wealth and they need to have some control over their spending. However there are times when for children's own long-term best interests that parents need to step in. For instance, if a child has a weight-problem and he or she is always buying sweets then parental interference is the best option. It is about knowing your child and using common sense.

Should children be given pocket-money if they misbehave? It is wisest to keep pocket-money and behaviour separate. Parents can get themselves into also sorts of bother and cause a great deal of resentment in children when they withdraw pocket-money until they behave better. Look for other ways to promote good behaviour rather than withholding their allowance.

How often should pocket-money be given? It helps if pocket-money is given regularly. Like adults children should have a pay day each week or fortnight when they receive their share of the family wealth. Give it to them in coins so they can easily allocate it to different uses.

At what age can I start with pocket-money? You can start giving pocket-money to children as young at four and cut it out on their fifteenth birthday so they are encouraged to get a part-time job. For four and five year olds give them a couple of coins and relate them to two items that you routinely buy for them as treats. Let them know they can buy these themselves or put their money in a money-box for later.

The use of pocket-money is one way to remove pressure children place on their parents to buy, buy, buy. When they come home from school and ask you to buy the latest toy because all their friends have one you can let them know that they can purchase it or at least make a contribution from their personal wealth.

For more practical ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people read Michael's best selling parenting book - One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au.

Michael Grose is a leading parent educator. he is the author of six book and 300 articles, and he gives over 100 presentations a year.

For more ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, Michael's Grose's free fortnightly email newsletter for parents. Get a free report Seven ways to reduce sibling fighting when you subscribe at http://www.parentingideas.com.au

---

From Birth to Teen, Spirituality in Children

Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More

Top 10 Mistakes by New and Expectant Dads

From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More

Ten Tips for a Great First Day of School!

Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More

Choosing Wooden Toys For Children

Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More

More than Mom and Dad

Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More

Is My Child Lazy?

Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Driving and Having a Car is a Privilege, Not a Right

Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: One Step Farther

When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More

Your Checking Account

Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More

Spare the Child, Ditch the Rod

Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More

Playing Safe

Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More

How to Set Healthy Limits at Work

Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More

Effective Troubled Teen Programs

Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Responding to a Poor Progress Report in School

Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More

Parents Demand Dumbed-down Tests:An Unintended Bad Consequence of the No Child Left Behind Act

The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More

Uniforms

Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More

Meningitis and Septicaemia

Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More

Watch Your Language! - How Parents Can Help Kids Help Themselves

'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More

Featured Article on Parenting: The Power of Belonging

Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More

Should We Apologize To Our Children?

An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More

5 Tips For Talking To Your Children About What They See In The News

Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last... Read More

Now, They?re Bullying My Daughter in Our Home: Welcome to Cyber-bullying

Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More

How Useful Are Bed Wetting Alarms

Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More

Dinner Table Drama

It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More

Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps

The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More

Helping Your Child to Deal with Change

Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More

Childhood Friendships

Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Respond to Manipulation

Q. My daughter has gotten very good at manipulating us,... Read More

Financially Stable Kids ? Prepared for College

We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More

Legacy to Your Children

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More

Let Kids Help

One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More

A Chance for a Home

"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More

Finding Out Your Child Has a Disability: Its Not the end of the World

Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More