Watch What You Say

"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold."

"Don't you get any ideas either, Terry."

"Don't you two get any ideas."

The young mother's words to her small children echoed in my head for several days. While I realized she was probably warning them to not do something against her wishes or something that could harm them, I can't help but wonder about the effects that a situation like that, heard over and over for a period of years, will have on their lives and their ability to realize their potential.

Flash forward - It's 20 years later and now little Howard and Terry are all grown up, sitting in a conference room where they both work as marketing managers, having graduated at the top of their classes in college.

The CEO is pacing back and forth saying, "Okay gang, what we need now, if we want to save this company, are some really good ideas." As their bosses words trail off, Howard and Terry are jolted back in time to that day at the Eagle Diner. All they can hear is their mother's voice telling them not to get any ideas. The conflict that this is causing has blocked their creative abilities. The contribution they might have made has been stifled by a poor choice of phrasing some 20 years ago.

I know this sounds a bit extreme but if you stop and think about it, this happens all the time. We are constantly being conditioned by the messages we hear, especially in our formative years.

We use phrases like "don't get smart" and then wonder why children are doing poorly in school. There is a connection. Whatever is repeated, over and over, will be absorbed into the sub­conscious mind of the person listening, in this case your children. McDonalds knows this, as does every other successful advertiser.

In my seminars I ask people to complete this phrase. Winston tastes good like a ____. Even audience members in their 20's can complete this advertising slogan, though it hasn't been used for more than 20 years. The words you choose and the phrases you use repeatedly will have a lasting impact on your children. Why not choose words that will help them realize their potential as unique, creative, bright, loving, powerful and successful human beings?

Imagine what could happen if you made a habit of using positive, empowering, self-esteem building messages every day? Imagine all your children could become!

Decide right now to create some positive messages you can implant in the young minds of your children. Make a daily habit of using positive messages when speaking to your children.

For example, you might say, "You know (childs name), every day you're getting better and better in every way." (This is a take off on a phrase from Claude Bristol's classic self help book, The Magic of Believing).

© 2004 Jim Donovan - PO Box 1147, Buckingham, PA 18912 - (215) 794-3826

Jim Donovan is the author of "Handbook to a Happier Life, a motivational speaker and coach. For a no cost bonus product & more, visit http://www.JimDonovan.com

If you had all the information and tools you needed to live your dream life, would you use them? Yes? Click here ==> http://www.jimdonovan.com/ebookoffer.html

---

Children are People, Not Machines

When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More

Co-Morbidity Rates: Other Problems That May Come With ADHD

Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More

Homes for Troubled Teens: Therapeutic and Residential

For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More

10 Ways You Can Advocate For Your Child With A Learning Disability

Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More

Inattentive ADHD: Just Like Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More

No, No, No -- What Else is a Parent to Say?

The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More

Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, or Loving Parenting

Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More

Raising A High Maintenance Child

Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Kids and Money

Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More

Teaching Children Good Manners

Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More

New Baby ? Relax and Become a Yummy Mummy

Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More

Ten Terrific Ideas for Rainy Day Fun

It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More

First Year With Twins - A Father?s Point Of View

People always ask my wife and I: "How did you... Read More

Tips for the Classroom Teachers with ADHD Students

Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More

What Do You Do When Your Child is Smarter than You?

We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Ask Questions

Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More

Punishing the Victim -- Why Public Schools Pressure Parents To Give Their Kids Mind-Altering Drugs

Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More

Effects of Jealousy on Childs Personality

Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More

Why Fathers Are Such a Necessary Component in the Raising of Their Children.

The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More

Where to Look for Affordable Baby Clothes

Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More

Bedtime and Sleep Habits

Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More

Keeping the Stress out of Single Parenting

Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More

The Metamorphosis of The Brain: Raising Your child to be a Brainiac

The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More

Life Lessons Learned in My Underwear

For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More

Turn off the TV -- and Turn on to Physical Activity!

Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More

What Are Your Children Really Watching?

Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More

Some Thoughts on Counseling Goals for ADHD

What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More

How To Be A Bad Mother

As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More

Entering Their Imaginative World

In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all... Read More

Classic Parenting: Encouragement, Praise, Acceptance, and Responsibility

Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More

Teenagers and Stress: What Parents Can Do to Help

More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More

The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family

There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More