Copywriting Makeover: Making An Emotional Connection - Part 1 of 2

One statistic shows that over 80% of all buying decisions are emotional. That means your copywriting should be, too. This is something I firmly believe in and have preached for most of my copywriting career. However, all too often, I find people skipping the vital step of making an emotional connection with their customers. That can be a tragic, and costly, mistake.

Thats why I was excited when I had the opportunity to rewrite the homepage copy for a vacation cruise service. While the copy they used previously gave all the details and got them a good number of bookings, it just didnt have what it takes to make me start daydreaming about my next cruise. It didnt but it was about to!

The Problems

The previous copy on the Cruise Vacation Center home page faced a couple of challenges. (You can view the original copy at this link: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/CruiseVacationCenter-Original.pdf.) The copy was very company-oriented instead of customer-oriented. It talked about who Cruise Vacation Center (CVC) is, why the visitor should buy from them, and some wonderful benefits CVC offers its clients including excellent bargain rates and extra discounts. However, all the verbiage was geared toward the company. The customer was left out.

The home page copy also lacked emotion. It was very matter-of-fact. In addition to making visitors aware of the wonderful prices and deals CVC offered, I wanted to create a vision for the site visitors. I wanted to give them what they needed in order to float off into a daydream about fabulous ports-of-call; warm, gentle breezes; and thrilling adventures.

While I was painting a picture of the vacation of a lifetime, I also had to be sure to include a vital fact. CVCs business plan was set up to be most affordable for the customer when s/he booked online. Without sounding rude, I had to do everything in my power to get the site visitor to book their cruise vacation while at the site. This was an extremely important issue and a point that needed to be woven throughout the copy.

Lastly, the page had to uphold Cruise Vacation Centers excellent search engine rankings. They were ranked at the top of several major engines, and the rewritten copy couldnt jeopardize their positioning.

The Solutions

The first step was, without question, to woo the site visitors with delightful fantasies about their next vacation. My goal was to conjure up all sorts of visions in the minds of Cruise Vacation Centers visitors. I wanted the visitors to be dreaming of exotic places with lots of fun things to do, interesting sights to see, and 24/7 access to gourmet meals that rival any five-star restaurant. I wanted their blood pressure to drop 10 points just from reading about the onboard staff of hundreds who would pamper them with VIP treatment. After reading this copy, I wanted them ready to leave on vacation today! However, I also had to persuade them to book online rather than calling CVCs office.

During the rewrite, I had to carefully plan the use of their primary keyphrase, cruise vacation, so as not to disrupt their most reliable source of business the search engines. After all, there is a delicate balance between pleasing the search engines and appealing to site visitors.

If I leaned too much toward the search engine side of the equation, the conversion ratio of the home page would suffer. In other words, Cruise Vacation Center would get lots of visitors, but few of them would book cruises.

If I leaned too much toward the customer side of the equation, CVCs rankings would plummet, and they would need to find a new way to drive qualified traffic to their site. As is normally the case with SEO copywriting, balance was going to be vital.

In the conclusion to this two-part series, youll see how I handled the rewrite and what the end results of all the work were. Curious to see the new copy? Youll find it on CVCs site: You can see the new copy on CVCs site at http://www.cruisevacationcenter.com.

Karon Thackston © 2004

About The Author

Copy not getting results? Learn to write SEO copy that impresses the engines and your visitors at http://www.copywritingcourse.com. Be sure to also check out Karons latest e-report How To Increase Keyword Saturation (Without Destroying the Flow of Your Copy) at http://www.copywritingcourse.com/keyword.

IF PUBLISHING ON A WEBSITE, USE THIS RESOURCE BOX:

Copy not getting results? Learn to write SEO copy that impresses the engines and your visitors with The Step-by-Step Copywriting Course. Be sure to check out Karons latest e-report How To Increase Keyword Saturation (Without Destroying the Flow of Your Copy), too!

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Copyright, Copyrighting, and Online Copyright Abuse - Save Yourself the Headache by Reading This!

Lets start with copyright infringement.It is easily explained as copying... Read More

Working on the Internet: Role of Proofreading and Copy editing OnLine

When one is in a creative state, rarely can one... Read More

How To Ethically Use A Swipe File For Your Ad Copy

Did you ever wish you could afford to hire one... Read More

Tech-writers: A Necessary Evil

New to tech-writing, or thinking about starting? The key to... Read More

How To Find Freelance Jobs - Writing About Food

Did you know that jobs writing about food are available?... Read More

Its Time To Start That Swipe File

Just as great fiction is an art, so is great... Read More

9 Tips for Great Design of Your Marketing Materials

1) Don't just hire a good designer. Hire someone who... Read More

How To Become Qualified As A Proofreader

The field of proofreading is not as easy to get... Read More

A Little-Known Secret To Writing Sales Copy, For Serious Copywriters Only!

Have you ever wondered how your copy sounds to your... Read More

What A Ghostwriter Needs To Do To Earn Top Dollar

The huge demand for writers online is really for ghostwriters.... Read More

13 Steps to a Slippery Slope Online Sales Letter

Many of the solo professionals whom I coach are people... Read More

Progressive Headlines Guide Customers To Buy

Headlines are, without a doubt, one of the most important... Read More

7 Powerful Sales Copy Writing Techniques!

Your sales letter is the most important component in your... Read More

Three Steps To Pump Up The Drama In Your Copy

All the world's a story. Video games have storylines; newspapers... Read More

Write Hard-Hitting Headlines With Magic Words That Sell

Writing a killer headline for your copy is simple! You... Read More

Killer Ad Copy

Not everyone is a writer. Good copy writing is a... Read More

Why Your Advertising Copy is not the Most Important Part of Your Ad

If you own a shop in the middle of the... Read More

?Super Adjectives? Boost the Power of Your Copy

Pretty or elegant? Good or scrumptious? Nice or delightful? There... Read More

Revealed: The $12,500 Copywriting Formula

Have you heard of Brian Keith Voiles? Probably not, but... Read More

Power Words And Phrases

I like to use power phrases when writing sales material.... Read More

Freelance Technical Writers - How Much Are You Worth?

Where can you find out about freelance technical writing pay?... Read More

Be That Copywriter Everyone Wants to Work With

So many copywriters think that it's enough to be a... Read More

Help, Help, Help, Sell

Here's a fundamental difference between copywriting offline and copywriting for... Read More

Prevent Procrastination With Positive Pressure

My wife and I recently bought a house.It's currently being... Read More

Grammatical Mistakes DONT Sell

When you receive a sales letter with typos or grammar... Read More

The Number One Copywriting Technique That Makes Your Prospects Read Every Word You Write

How does this sound?Today, I'm going to show you how... Read More

How To Test The Body Of Your Sales Copy For Weaknesses

Your sales copy is the life source of your business.... Read More

How Cliffhanger Paragraphs Capture Readers

About 50 years ago, movie serials kept theater crowds coming... Read More

Top 8 Techniques - Secrets - Create Ad Copy For Your Business To Sky Rocket

Perhaps the most important benefit in the material that follows... Read More

Is Your Content Provider Selling You Ripped Content?

Ripped content: well the term itself is self explanatory. Content... Read More

How Writing Radio Can Help You Become a Better Writer

Knowing how to write, and write well, is a skill... Read More

How To Personalize Your Headlines For Increased Profits!

Personalizing your headlines to your target audience can significantly improve... Read More

How to Hold Peoples Interest throughout those Long Copy Sales Letters

People tend to read your ads and sales letters in... Read More