Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when you believe that only your view is correct, you shut out other people and do not listen to the facts they are giving.
Your brain's "Reticular Activating System" will actually filter away anything that is in contradiction to these beliefs. Basically, you close off communication and any connection with the other person. And where there is no communication, there is no mastery of your life.
It is important to understand that our viewpoints are based on our outlook in life.
This outlook has been shaped and molded by:
Our own biases
How we were raised in what culture, religion and society
How we were educated, to what level and in what area
Our occupation
Our life experience- that which has happened in our lives
Our expectations of others and ourselves
Our relationships with others and ourselves
There is more than one viewpoint and many situations have multiple viewpoints. If we can back away from ours and look at someone else's side, we are then able to have a greater understanding of the others person's point of view. Only then can true understanding and communication may proceed. This does not mean agreeing with the other person. It means trying to understand theirs.
For some people there is a fear to looking at others viewpoints. I have heard people say, what if I am wrong and what if everything that I have believed is wrong?
First, just because ours are different, doesn't mean you are wrong. It just means different. This is a lesson that many people in the world still need to understand in order for compassion and wisdom to enter into their lives. Sadly, there are many who would rather live a life of horror and devastation rather that see that there are different ways of doing things.
Ask yourself, if you ever believed that you had to get others to accept your way of seeing things? Even if you had force it on them. And ask, why?
If you believe that only your viewpoint is right, you make everyone else wrong. In the right / wrong game, there is no understanding, no connection, no communication, and ultimately, no achieving what you desire to. People get defensive when they believe that you are making them wrong, just because you see things differently from them.
For example, the words new, expensive and luxury have different meanings for different people. To one person, new may mean getting an outfit at a second hand store. It is new to that person. To another, new would be never worn by anyone. An expensive item to one person may be a $20.00 gift and to another it would be a $1,000.00.
Luxury items to one person my mean, TV, a trip, a computer and to another these items may be considered a necessity. None is right or wrong, they are just different outlooks with different values. Ask yourself, what do I consider luxury and necessity and why?
Often our assumptions form our views and we look for facts that help prove this. We can even start seeing things that are not there, just to prove we are right. When we stop to realize there may be different ways of looking at things and different possible conclusions, we then can take a step back and see from the others viewpoint. We can then connect with them and see life and other people on a completely new level.
Remember from A to C there are many paths of B. Just because you found one does not make it the only way.
Steven Covey stated it succinctly when he said, We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions.
I wish you great joy and amazement as you discover this for yourself.
All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
To sign up for a free report on "The 7 Secrets to Communication Mastery" go to:
http://www.falconfreedom.com
P.S. If you like what you're reading in this newsletter, you'll love the book,
"Overcoming Barriers to Communication"
It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help you overcome
challenges in communicating and connecting with others.
Overcoming Barriers to Communciation
When Do We Usually Feel Guilty? When:We're not feeling ok... Read More
All over the Net, people are asking you to pay... Read More
As winter descends we begin to feel the chill of... Read More
I met Sean a year and a half ago in... Read More
We all know the power of a scope if you... Read More
What can I do to be a better coach? The... Read More
"Don't shoot... We're on the same side."Contrary to popular belief,... Read More
In today's fast paced world, we are often confronted with... Read More
Recently, I have received several emails asking me about coaching... Read More
One of the most effective ways to help your staff... Read More
A recent study at the University of Florida found that... Read More
I talk and write a lot about Life Design ?... Read More
There's a lot of coaches out there not making any... Read More
Do you ever find that when a friend asks for... Read More
Use all of your brain to be your most effective."Running... Read More
I have often heard motivational speakers say that the word... Read More
Consider this scenario. A colleague suggests you get a business... Read More
I'm almost always a calm and collected person. Or at... Read More
Are you one of those folks that needs to figure-it-out... Read More
During my 35 years of counseling individuals, couples, families and... Read More
If you feel the heat of burn-out, it is possible... Read More
During a recent coaching session with Mark, I was briefly... Read More
When we are ill and don't know it, we are... Read More
Do you often get yourself upset and feeling less than... Read More
Improve Your Life! How to Hire A Coach.A reader writes,... Read More
Are holiday bills surprising you? Are you hoping that if... Read More
One of the three basic roles of leadership is the... Read More
Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She... Read More
Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable... Read More
Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years... Read More
Thoughts are real things. As soon as you realize how... Read More
One of the mainstays of American culture is the "Great... Read More
No one gets through life without being hurt by another... Read More
Are you facing a difficult time in your life? Do... Read More
Traditionally, mentors volunteer the wisdom of their experiences to help... Read More
Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding... Read More
As an ADD Coach, I usually begin my conversations with... Read More
Okay, you have read some books on body language and... Read More
A coach is an essential figure in providing direction and... Read More
Most of us play many different roles in the course... Read More
People have a difficult time letting go of the past... Read More
Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for... Read More
Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's... Read More
Anybody who has visited my website at Motivation & Self... Read More
1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change... Read More
What Is Self-Esteem?Self-esteem literally means to esteem, or respect, yourself.... Read More
For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a... Read More
Emotional dependency means getting one's good feelings from outside oneself.... Read More
When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too... Read More
Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using... Read More
Coaching is an effective process used to support individuals in... Read More
Suppose that the human mind is nothing more than a... Read More
I have a few questions for you ---What if we... Read More
In principle, we don't want to give up coaching employees.... Read More
The surprising answer is "probably". Most individuals don't realize that... Read More
It's past bedtime for most working men. It's not unbearably... Read More
Terms like Postpartum, Post Traumatic and Post Gulf War are... Read More
Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss... Read More
Coaching has become a very popular way for people to... Read More
Did you know that the area that you call your... Read More
A headhunter was on the other end of the phone.... Read More
The "little bit extra" is a very powerful concept to... Read More
The subject of positive self talk regarding our goals and... Read More
Three steps to your Personal Transformation:Awareness and PerceptionLaw of Cause... Read More
It is my personal opinion that there are two words... Read More
Life is all about choices. And so is the way... Read More
Coaching |