Lessons in Love for the Shy at Heart

One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I was cursed with the shyness gene. Shyness is an often misunderstood condition that can leave the afflicted alone and miserable. As a victim of shyness, I completely understand the pitfalls. I also understand that there are levels of the condition that start at "painfully shy" or (as I think it is referred to nowadays) "social anxiety" to simply being "uncomfortable" at parties. More outgoing people tend to brush off shyness as something that is easy to get over. However those of us who suffer with it day after day realize that it would be comparable to asking an alcoholic to stop drinking. Doable, yes ? but easy? Hardly! But whatever your comfort level, shyness does not have to be a life sentence of aloneness - there is still someone out there for you.

I have more than once longed for the days where parents were required to find mates for their children, fully realizing the downside of that prospect as well. But considering those days are long gone in our free society, it is time to look at the many other varied options available to the lovelorn today. Unfortunately most of us aren't lucky enough for love to just find us. In spite of this there are still those who fall in love with their available classmates, co-workers, or brothers/sisters of their best friends. Another "charmed" way is to have a good friend look through their personal Rolodex and pull out the name of that perfect person. I, for one, have never had a single friend with a connection to someone who would be right for me. I would even venture to say that life is just not that easy for the majority of us out there. Also for many people, not just the shy, bar and club hopping has just plain gotten old. And although it is still possible, placing a blind ad for love in a newspaper or magazine is a daunting proposition at best.

Some of the newer options include the Internet. Over the past few years, on-line dating has taken off in a way that no one could have predicted, emphasizing perhaps for the first time the amount of lonely people in the world today. As most people utilize these sites from the safety of their living rooms, the shy can wrap themselves in anonymity and easily make contact within their comfort zone. Unfortunately, there are often predators as well as those with a penchant for being less than truthful who occasionally respond on the other side of the screen. Still, this can be a method for making successful matches as long as great care is taken. Another method would be the off-line dating service although many of them tend to be over priced and equally anonymous. If shopping carefully, there are existing services with integrity, that work at individual comfort levels. There is also the possibility of reasonable pricing as well as background screening to increase safety.

One last recommendation from one who shares the shyness curse, is simply to find ways to expand your comfort zone. I did this initially by getting a job that forced me to interact with people. Shyness isn't synonymous with cowardice. Take a good look at yourself and decide what improvements are in your ability to make and make them. Meeting and dealing with people will always increase your chances of making a match yourself. If that is your goal, then it has to begin with you.

About The Author

Jennifer G. Smith owner and CEO of Let's Meet Here LLC is an acclaimed relationship guru.. She uses a holistic approach when bringing relationship-minded people together, conducting personal meetings with clients and establishing a trustful rapport among the many individuals who seek her wisdom. A native of Chicago, Jennifer is an accomplished thespian, where her introduction to the performing arts enabled her to overcome a childhood fear of public speaking. Jennifer's passion for entertainment also includes more than a decades worth of management-level responsibility for Universal Studios. "My lifelong involvement in art and commerce, which was inspired by a commitment to overcome my own shyness, is now part of a broader effort to bring people together through loving relationships," says Jennifer. "I want the people I advise to meet genuine and supportive individuals." An avid reader and volunteer, Jennifer is a graduate of Illinois State University. She lives in Los Angeles and can be contacted at: jgsmith@lets-meet-here.com or (818) 232-4148.

---

13 Publicity Tips for Professional Speakers

In a funk because other speakers seem to be snagging... Read More

Now Appearing: 9 Tips for a Well-Attended Event

When I made the decision to do free workshops and... Read More

Start Conversations as Easily as You Start a Car

Starting a car is easy. Put the key in, turn... Read More

How to Get Paid to Speak

Now that you have all the contacts you can possibly... Read More

How to Write and Deliver an Outstanding Speech - Using the PEPP Talk Forumla

I learned my craft as a speaker a long time... Read More

Fear!

I am terrified of heights. The thought of skydiving, for... Read More

How to Gracefully Leave After a Seminar or Speech When Someone is Hogging Your Time!

Meeting planners know the value of meticulous planning. They are... Read More

A Perfect Meeting: AKA When You Dont Want to Strangle the Speaker

Have you ever worked for weeks or even months, often... Read More

Ethics in Speaking: A Practical Point of View

Often managers have to deliver presentations with unpleasant content. The... Read More

How To Dramatically Improve Your Public Speaking Skills

This Article Is For Those Who Understand How Persuasive Communication,... Read More

Executive Public Speaking for English as a Second Language (ESL)

Public Speaking is a challenging skill. It is TOUGH! For... Read More

Top 7 Ways to Succeed in the Business of Speaking

How attractive are you as a speaker? No, your looks,... Read More

Giving Presentations: Public Speaking Secrets in a Nutshell

A high level manager contacted me in a panic. He... Read More

How to Build Respect with Your Audience: Positive Thinking and Outhouse Eyes

Do you believe in natural laws? Laws like:? What goes... Read More

Voice Coaching - Training Your Voice to Give Better Presentations

Picture a cool crisp autumn morning in the wide open... Read More

Earn Your Cs as A Speaker

Franklin Delano Roosevelt had some good advice for the public... Read More

How to Promote yourself as a Speaker on the Web

Why use the web for promoting your speaking engagements?Most people... Read More

Be Brief!

Centuries ago great speakers often spoke two hours and more.... Read More

Speaker Partnership Offers Trade Show Value

Want to gain added exposure at a trade show? Consider... Read More

How To Start With Public Speaking

I don't know how many books, articles, manuals and scripts... Read More

Know Your Audience

What is worse than wearing a tuxedo to an event... Read More

How to Use Public Speaking to Attract Clients

When Robert Middleton moved his marketing consulting practice, Action Plan... Read More

Make Your Talks Pay: Have People Stand In Line Eager Give You Their Business Card

If you've ever been on stage, doing a talk or... Read More

Does Uptalk Make you Upchuck?

Uptalk is invading the work place and is reaching epidemic... Read More

How to Become a More Persuasive Speaker: A Systems Approach

There is no surer way to get ahead in business... Read More

Public Speaking Tips: Lessons From Former US President Ronald Reagan

If you want public speaking tips, what are the ten... Read More

Moving Key Audiences to Take Action?

You know, those really important outside groups of people whose... Read More

Public Speaking: Getting the Room Set-up Right

I don't know why it is, but no matter how... Read More

How To Get Paid Every Time You Speak - REALLY!

For many, speaking or training is a full time business.... Read More

Speak to Be Heard and Understood

Use your voice to your advantage. One of your main... Read More

No More Stagefright - Have Fun Speaking!

7 Tips that calm and center you before your presentation:1.... Read More

A Powerful Vocabulary Will Transform Your Life

Studies show that your word-power determines your earning power, that... Read More

How to Answer Questions Your Audience Will Ask

In elementary school, most of us asked questions which were... Read More