15 Ways to Help Kids Like Themselves

1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your child to focus on her many strengths.

2. Reinforce the positives. Give praise, recognition, a special privilege or increased responsibility for a job well done.

3. Define limits and rules clearly. A family council is an excellent place to discuss, explain and get a sense of ownership to the rules. Discuss what consequences will follow if the rules are not followed. Don't have a lot of rules, maybe four or five, but be consistent at following them.

4. Give your children responsibility to make the house a home. Everyone in the family should be responsible for some household chores daily. Responsibility makes them feel valued and part of the team.

5. Don't re-do their jobs. If you expect perfection, it is too easy for them to quit trying or else hope that you will step in and "save them" when it gets difficult.

6. Laugh at their jokes and listen attentively when they are talking to you. Being fully present when you are with your child is the only quality time there is.

7. If they don't fit in, teach them basic social skills. There are a number of behaviors that can be learned to help the "left out" child to fit into the group more easily.

8. Show them that what they do is important to you. Talk to them about activities and interests. Help them to find a hobby or interest that they excel at. Go to their games, presentations and activities.

9. Help them to set goals. Teach them to break each long-range goal into manageable bites. It is important to succeed at something ever day. Acknowledge your own successes so they can be more aware of progress they are making.

10. Don't punish them for telling the truth. Discuss problems without placing blame or attacking the child's character. Worry less about "who did this?" and more about "Let's get this mess cleaned up." If a child knows he has made a bad choice but doesn't feel attacked, he will feel more secure in trying to find solutions.

11. Create opportunities to give service and to develop tolerance for others with different values and backgrounds. These experiences can help a child to see himself in reference to the rest of the world and to be more understanding of the needs of others.

12. Give them opportunities to make decisions. Help them to see that each decision has pros and cons and may have consequences for themselves and others. If they want to do something that is clearly harmful, explain why you cannot allow them to act on it.

13. Teach them to deal with money and time wisely. When children are organized and responsible for their homework and allowance, it breeds self-assurance and personal responsibility.

14. Be a good role model. Let your children know that you feel good about yourself, but also teach them by example that mistakes aren't final but learning experiences.

15. Start and end each day on a positive and loving note. Give lots of hugs, kisses and high fives. Let them know on a consistent basis that your love is unconditional and that you are proud of them as a member of the family. You may occasionally be disappointed in their actions or choices, but will always be available for support.

© Judy H. Wright, Author, Speaker and Life Educator www.ArtichokePress.com

This article was written by Judy Wright, parent educator and author. Feel free to use it in your newsletter or publication, but please give full credit to the author and mention the contact information of JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com, 406-549-9813.

You will find a full listing of books, tapes, newsletters and workshops available on finding the heart of the story in the journey of life by going to www.ArtichokePress.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part two

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More

What Do You Do When Your Child is Smarter than You?

We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More

Family Meetings 101

Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More

Andy Griffith Show Family Lessons

Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More

Time Managment Skills for Children

Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More

Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses

What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More

A Good Preschool Idea

The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More

How A Home Water Filter Can Reduce Your Child?s Risk Of Learning Disabilities

Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More

How Public Schools Coerce Parents Into Giving Mind-Altering Drugs To Their Children

Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More

Surviving as a Single Parent

Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More

The Truth Behind Having Children

In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More

Picky Eater - Fighting the Good Fight

Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More

The Recipe For The Making Of A Self-Assured Child: One Part Communication, Two Parts Love

Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More

Preparing Your Child for the Three Rs

There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More

Guerilla Parenting Techniques: What Are They?

When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More

Challenges for Our Children

Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More

Public-school Teachers Know Best --- They Send Their Kids To Private Schools

A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found... Read More

How Public Schools Assault Parents Values

Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More

Eye-Opening Questions for Working Parents to Ask

I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More

Awesome Dads Top Ten Ways To Be The Foundation of Your Family

Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More

How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success

Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More

Turn off the TV -- and Turn on to Physical Activity!

Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More

Teenagers in America Today

"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More

Keeping the Stress out of Single Parenting

Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More

Parenting Your Adolescent: 3 Powerful Steps to Being an In-Charge Parent

Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More

Single Mother Sanity Savers Pt. 1

Being a single mother is no easy task. I know.... Read More

Ten Ways to Help Your Child Make Friends

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More

Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps

The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More

How to Create an Attitude of Cooperation

Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More

Using Pocket-money To Promote Independence In Kids

In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More