1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your child to focus on her many strengths.
2. Reinforce the positives. Give praise, recognition, a special privilege or increased responsibility for a job well done.
3. Define limits and rules clearly. A family council is an excellent place to discuss, explain and get a sense of ownership to the rules. Discuss what consequences will follow if the rules are not followed. Don't have a lot of rules, maybe four or five, but be consistent at following them.
4. Give your children responsibility to make the house a home. Everyone in the family should be responsible for some household chores daily. Responsibility makes them feel valued and part of the team.
5. Don't re-do their jobs. If you expect perfection, it is too easy for them to quit trying or else hope that you will step in and "save them" when it gets difficult.
6. Laugh at their jokes and listen attentively when they are talking to you. Being fully present when you are with your child is the only quality time there is.
7. If they don't fit in, teach them basic social skills. There are a number of behaviors that can be learned to help the "left out" child to fit into the group more easily.
8. Show them that what they do is important to you. Talk to them about activities and interests. Help them to find a hobby or interest that they excel at. Go to their games, presentations and activities.
9. Help them to set goals. Teach them to break each long-range goal into manageable bites. It is important to succeed at something ever day. Acknowledge your own successes so they can be more aware of progress they are making.
10. Don't punish them for telling the truth. Discuss problems without placing blame or attacking the child's character. Worry less about "who did this?" and more about "Let's get this mess cleaned up." If a child knows he has made a bad choice but doesn't feel attacked, he will feel more secure in trying to find solutions.
11. Create opportunities to give service and to develop tolerance for others with different values and backgrounds. These experiences can help a child to see himself in reference to the rest of the world and to be more understanding of the needs of others.
12. Give them opportunities to make decisions. Help them to see that each decision has pros and cons and may have consequences for themselves and others. If they want to do something that is clearly harmful, explain why you cannot allow them to act on it.
13. Teach them to deal with money and time wisely. When children are organized and responsible for their homework and allowance, it breeds self-assurance and personal responsibility.
14. Be a good role model. Let your children know that you feel good about yourself, but also teach them by example that mistakes aren't final but learning experiences.
15. Start and end each day on a positive and loving note. Give lots of hugs, kisses and high fives. Let them know on a consistent basis that your love is unconditional and that you are proud of them as a member of the family. You may occasionally be disappointed in their actions or choices, but will always be available for support.
© Judy H. Wright, Author, Speaker and Life Educator www.ArtichokePress.com
This article was written by Judy Wright, parent educator and author. Feel free to use it in your newsletter or publication, but please give full credit to the author and mention the contact information of JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com, 406-549-9813.
You will find a full listing of books, tapes, newsletters and workshops available on finding the heart of the story in the journey of life by going to www.ArtichokePress.com
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
Often, the struggle at dinnertime with your picky eater is... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More
Being a single mother is no easy task. I know.... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
Here we will come to know who are the most... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
How bad is the illegal drug problem here in the... Read More
Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More
"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Parenting |