We pay a high price for perfectionism. "What perfectionism?" we perfectionists mutter. "We've known for years perfectionism is not healthy so we have dealt with this issue and strive for personal excellence only!" Really?
When you slip-up - maybe handle a situation, task or project less than perfectly ? what do you say to yourself? Are you able to commend yourself on what you did well and perhaps then, note a thing or two you could improve upon? Or do you focus on the mistake or less-than-perfect behavior neglecting your positive efforts?
Recently I completed facilitating six evening "Leadership" sessions. Being only my second time facilitating this particular series I closely observed my "perfectionistic" tendency. As I completed each session I could readily see areas I could have improved upon.
Commend Yourself! Gently Observe Improvements!
For me, it took a huge effort to commend myself on what I had done well and to be gentle with myself on the areas of improvement. In fact, I made a pointed effort of congratulating myself after each session and allowed myself the joy and relief of savoring a job well done when the series of six was completed. This is not a simple, natural process for us perfectionists.
To further this exercise in self-acknowledgement I did not read my participant's evaluations at the program end as usual. This was perhaps a first in my fourteen years of facilitating. Too often, I have rushed to read the evaluations to determine my success.
Eventually I will receive a summary of the evaluations from the College I was contracted to but more importantly, I have deepened my self esteem and self worth through rewarding, congratulating and commending myself despite what others may think. To be a strong leader and healthy human being let us begin now acknowledging our achievements rather than devaluing our worth and work.
Herein, we begin to wean ourselves from being reliant on outside influences to determine our worth or how well we have done. We begin to befriend ourselves and give the internal "Judge" less power over us.
Not only are we robbed of the enjoyment of our efforts by focusing on what went wrong and neglecting to commend ourselves but also, by rushing into worry over the next thing we have to do. When caught in this repetitive ritual of "not good enough? do better? do more?" I have found this simple phrase very freeing?
Not Perfect but Well Enough!
Feel the relief and comfort of this phrase, "not perfect but well enough!" Yes! Thank You God! "Thank You God" is another simple phrase that can help relieve us of the burden of perfectionism. Not only have I been working on giving myself credit but also on thanking God for His/Her part in my success. I know I must constantly turn to my God, my Source, my Higher Power ? call it what you will ? for guidance in all I do.
In the perfectionist's mind it is all up to ME to do everything so very, very well but of course - never quite measuring up. The more I trust that God is working in me and through me the more I can lay down the heavy burden of perfectionism. It is not all up to ME. My job is to "do my best and give God the rest."
Do My Best and Give God the Rest
Even in the midst of our fear, doubt and inadequacy we can comfort and encourage ourselves by knowing it is not all up to us. We can trust God is also at work and all is unfolding according to a Grand Design far greater than our understanding. As an Alcoholics Anonymous slogan so simply says "Let go and let God."
We can become better leaders and human beings and release ourselves from the bondage of perfectionism by practicing these few ideas.
1. Commend yourself on a job well done.
2. Be gentle observing your areas of improvement.
3. Remember: "Not perfect but well enough!
4. Do your best and give God the rest.
What a relief to give up responsibility for doing everything AND doing it perfectly!
Teresa Proudlove has been inspiring, supporting, and guiding over 3000 people upon their career and life work path for over fourteen years - with compassion and heart. Teresa's workshops offer a deeper understanding and respect for ourselves, for others, and for our lifework path. This entrepreneurial woman also owned and successfully operated two women's retail boutiques for ten years. For over twelve years, Teresa was a well-read newspaper columnist. Visit Teresa at http://www.yourlifework.com; listen to your inner guidance and navigate through life and work with more meaning, acceptance and peace.
At your next staff meeting consider leading your team through... Read More
The airline, Jet Blue, has been featured in many magazines... Read More
Last week, as I was standing in the checkout line... Read More
A Leader is not a certain type of person or... Read More
Years ago, a very wise, and often cynical boss of... Read More
We pay a high price for perfectionism. "What perfectionism?" we... Read More
"Trust is the emotional glue that binds followers and... Read More
"Leaders are born, not made." Right? Let me ask you... Read More
Ask anyone about what makes a good leader and they... Read More
Don't you love politics?Me, neither. But I do like thinking... Read More
I hated Kyle Sisk*. A notorious bully, Kyle punctuated my... Read More
Before we can effectively lead anyone, we must take an... Read More
Jonathan was drunk multiple times before ever completing elementary school;... Read More
In most aspects of human activity, the pendulum of fashion... Read More
How do you measure the success of a training or... Read More
Doesn't make too much sense does it? Am I really... Read More
There can be no doubt that the ancient author of... Read More
How many times have you seen the E = MC2... Read More
Right about now, you've made the discovery that... Read More
Master The Five Key Facets of High Performance LeadershipMany people... Read More
How do you get your people on your side? And... Read More
What do the major generals who are leading the war... Read More
When we were talking the other day we started to... Read More
Abraham Lincoln Is Still Alive President Jimmy Carter tells in... Read More
Identity CrisisIt's not only the knowledge you carry around in... Read More
(Excerpted from the Jim Rohn Sampler single CD)My first mentor,... Read More
10 Ways to Beef Up Your Leadership SkillsHave you ever... Read More
Although a meeting is a vehicle for resolving differences, it... Read More
What exactly is Charisma? Most would agree that it is... Read More
Although new ideas lead to creative solutions, they can be... Read More
People don't leave jobs; they leave bosses. -- AnonymousCongratulations. You're... Read More
Let's get this straight at the outset?Leadership skills can be... Read More
Those that have successfully made the transition from manager to... Read More
General George S. Patton was born on November 11, 1885... Read More
A good strong example of a family leader would be... Read More
We need to engage our listeners and transform them into... Read More
Side conversations ruin meetings by destroying focus and fragmenting participation.Approach... Read More
A leader's roleIn any change project, a leader must wear... Read More
Did you know that people who lead strategically resemble fine-tuned... Read More
Lee (L.B.) Weiss (Sept. 21/25 ? April 30/82)My dad has... Read More
Lately the age-old business dilemma of how to stand out... Read More
In Part One, I described the laws of motivation. In... Read More
Leaders do nothing more important than get results. But you... Read More
If you gather 100 experienced leaders together to share with... Read More
A willingness to change first is one of the major... Read More
An organization of any size, from the family to the... Read More
At one point or another, we have all been either... Read More
In today's fast moving, ever changing, and highly competitive world... Read More
Before we can effectively lead anyone, we must take an... Read More
It is often much harder for women to get promoted... Read More
The topic of leadership has been and continues to be... Read More
As a hypnotherapist I specialise in helping people to develop... Read More
Webster's Dictionary describes a "partner" as an ally or an... Read More
There are many reasons why someone would decline to participate... Read More
Leadership skills training programs empower you to influence, persuade or... Read More
Right about now, you've made the discovery that... Read More
Studies have shown that companies that have acquired competencies to... Read More
Charlotte decides to do good. Charlotte is a highly motivated... Read More
Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self... Read More
Making any decision without having all of the information and... Read More
Perhaps noted as one of the greatest United States presidents... Read More
In an article discussing the need for innovative products and... Read More
As a leader, you do nothing more important than get... Read More
This article was published in the Nov. 2003 edition of... Read More
How do you measure the success of a training or... Read More
Here's a really simple way to measure the strength of... Read More
Leadership |