Dissolving Conflict Through Reframing

Reframing is looking at the situation with a new set of eyes. Its asking your self if you have a clear picture of the situation and of what is happening around you.

Many people get so caught up in a situation that they take on the other persons issues as their own. When you can remain calm, take a step back, you can ask your self, am I seeing this issue clearly or can I look at it differently?

For example, ask:

Is this person really angry at me?
Are they hurting and scared?
Do I have all of the facts?
Have I missed something that is important to them?
What might be the real issue hear?
Do I really want to hand my power over to them by reacting?

It's asking:

How do I want to be in this situation?
How would I want to be treated it the situation were reversed?

Quite often people will react to a situation and fly off the handle instead of respond to it. In most cases, people have stated that they regret later when they flip out instead of finding out why the other perosn was upset. When you are able to reframe, it can help you to respond to situations and command control and confidence in your own life. And that is truly what matters.

If you react to something that someone else has done or said, you get hook into the other persons stuff.

When you start to match their attitude and sling at them insult for insult, you will lose at getting what you need and any chance at helping the other person calm down and discovering what it is they really need.

Ironically, most people are not mad at the person that they are yelling at and if we yell back, it will be difficult to find out what the real issue is.

In a response, you hear what the other person is saying without interrupting. It is important not to cut them off, as that would add fuel to the fire. Most people just want to be heard and they are used to dealing with uncooperative people.

You will win them over just by remaining calm and showing them that you heard them. This is when empathy can be very empowering. You will be the one in control and staying in your own power, which is a whole lot better than being a puppet on a string at the control of anyone who gets upset around you.

All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
To sign up for a free report on "The 7 Secrets to Communication Mastery" go to: http://www.falconfreedom.com. To read past newsletter articles go to: Master Communicator Blog

P.S. If you like what you're reading in this newsletter, you'll love the book, "Perceptions, How to discover what you are really seeing and how it affects your belief system." It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help you overcome challenges in communicating and connecting with others. Perceptions-Understanding What you are Really Seeing.

---

What Every Manager Should Know About How to See the Talents of Effective Leaders

An organization of any size, from the family to the... Read More

Two Leadership Traps: How To Avoid Them and How To Get Out Of Them (Part 2)

Here's how to get out of, or avoid, the "I... Read More

The Personality of Leadership

Have you ever wondered what type of person or personality... Read More

Introduction to the The Enneagram as a Leadership Tool

The Enneagram is a fascinating tool of nine orientations that... Read More

The Leadership Vacuum

In today's fast moving, ever changing, and highly competitive world... Read More

Wanted: A Dictionary-Perfect Leader

Answers are often before our very eyes or in front... Read More

A Whack Up Long Side The Head Of Human Resources: The Leadership Imperative

When we perceive the simple center in the seemingly complex,... Read More

5 Tips to Help You Win Big & Become a Village Hero

A few years ago, I returned to my impoverished village... Read More

Wisdom From The Rock

He grew up in Brooklyn, the son of an ex-con... Read More

Be the Samurai Sword

Relationships are constantly facing crisis. Everywhere we look people are... Read More

Leadership Lessons from Pope John Paul II

"Heroes are rebels with a cause. Rebels because they challenge... Read More

Leadership and The Dirty Work

The airline, Jet Blue, has been featured in many magazines... Read More

Secrets of Creating Success with Ease

Do you ever strum your fingers on the desk top... Read More

Leader is Not a Title

There is a steady flow of information in the form... Read More

Ten Ways Women Can Visualize Themselves As Leaders

Women should not be afraid of or feel guilty about... Read More

Leadership, Self-Development, and the Committment to Growth

There is a common phrase that says: "You can't teach... Read More

The Qualities of Skillful Leadership

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality... Read More

UNCLOS III Process model

The United Nations Conference on Law of the Sea was... Read More

Extraordinary People in Mediocre Times

My grandfather used to speak of the days when people... Read More

What We Can Learn From J. Paul Getty

J. Paul Getty planned to enter the U.S. Diplomatic Service,... Read More

Leadership Skills Training Empowers Problem-solving and Visioning

Leadership skills training programs empower you to influence, persuade or... Read More

The Best Ways To Multiply The Extraordinary Leadership in Your Organization

Extraordinary Leaders are those who understand that in order for... Read More

The Tao of Leadership

There can be no doubt that the ancient author of... Read More

From Failure To Victory; The Cats Out Of The Bag!

Did you ever think that all of the great heroes... Read More

Leadership Styles and What We Need For the Future:

By definition a leaders leads a team to take action... Read More

Would Socrates Be A Celebrity Today?

Last week, as I was standing in the checkout line... Read More

F2 Leadership

People don't leave jobs; they leave bosses. -- AnonymousCongratulations. You're... Read More

Make The Elephant Jump -- Leading With A Kind Heart

Leadership is not about getting people to do what they... Read More

Leadership Is Action?Not Position!

People respond to good leadership! Period! It is in all... Read More

Get Angry And Then Get Results

Leadership is not about winning a popularity contest, it's about... Read More

The Seven Mistakes to Avoid when Organising Your Student Leadership Program

How do you measure the success of a training or... Read More

Building Future Leaders

As a whole we spend a lot of time filling... Read More

Top Skills Of Extraordinary Leaders

1. Good Communicator. Extraordinary Leaders are those who can take... Read More