Seven Strategies You Need to Know About Strengthening Your Self-Esteem

Did you know that your life's success in all areas is directly related to having a healthy self-esteem? You've heard the cliché "You are what you eat." Many would also argue that "You are what you think."

Nathaniel Brandon, one of the most notable psychologists on self-esteem put it nicely: "There is no value-judgment more important to man-no factor more decisive in his psychological development & motivation than the estimate he passes on himself."

It is the secret or "hidden self-esteem" in particular, that will get you through those very dark spots. It will enable you to find a valuable lesson each time you face an obstacle.

The hidden or secret self-esteem is how you feel about yourself deep down. It is the most accurate description of how you feel, regardless of what obstacles are thrown in your path.

If it's strong, then you will be able to deal better with stress and your relationships. You'll be successful by your own standards and have no need to boast about it. Your surface self- esteem, however, can vary widely depending on the day of the week. It's a temporary feeling.

Environmental factors can play a role in how you view yourself.

It most certainly did for me. For example (the very short version), I felt essentially fatherless. I got called weird a lot growing up (and fat, too!).

Artists, musicians, and the mathematically inclined tend to be labeled as eccentric. I am all three! Teenagers generally ridiculed eccentricity in my environment back then.

Honestly, I don't believe my secret nor surface self-esteem was as healthy as it could be in all areas until I was finished with school-Graduate School!

So how did I get from there to here?

Let's look at some strategies that I used and see if any or all them can get you on the road to developing or strengthening your self-esteem. Here are seven of them:

1. Clear out the junk: This means anything hurtful and unconstructive that you've been told by someone you care(d) about (or even some you didn't) is to be taken with a grain of salt. It's one thing to be given constructive criticism in life, but quite another when people are downright mean about it. Remember it's the offending party's issue. NOT yours.

2. Related to #1: List first why you believe the negativity you tell yourself (i.e., I'm too old. I'm too fat. Nobody loves me. I'm never good enough. etc.); laugh at that piece of paper you just wrote on; THEN tear it up and move on to the next strategy.

3. You may have heard the phrase "Attitude of gratitude." Count your blessings, which can include things people actually take for granted, such as food and shelter, access to a computer, etc.

4. List your positive attributes and talents-everybody has them! List at least five.

5. Make a list of what you love to do, starting from childhood until now and try to find time to do it at least once a week, even if it's just for a few minutes.

6. List at least three things that you would love to have the courage to do.

7. Surround yourself with positive people (think of volunteer or professional organizations that have something in common with your interests, for example).

If none of these strategies work over time, other factors may be at play that are beyond the scope of this article.

Consistently employing these strategies will make it easier to keep going even when the going gets tough. Especially when the going gets tough! Whenever you are feeling low, you don't have to try and deny it. But do know that it will pass. Knowing that it will pass will help you psychologically.

If you're interested in seeing where you fall in terms of your self-esteem, here is a site that I found very useful: http://www.wellnessnet.com/testesarticle.htm. It also goes into the hidden and surface self esteem concept in more depth.

Self-esteem is but one personal resource worth managing. It's important to be kind to yourself and have patience. Remember, your best investment is in yourself!

Power-Ed Solutions, Inc. Copyright © 2004 All Rights Reserved

About The Author

Carol Dickson-Carr a life strategist and social scientist who has researched the human condition for over 13 years. She is also founder of Power-Ed Solutions, Inc., a Leadership Development Company

http://managingpersonalresources.com

http://www.power-edsolutionsinc.com

cdickson@power-edsolutionsinc.com

---

10 Fun Ways To Live An Enchanted Life Today!

I am often asked how I can live the way... Read More

Happiness Without Prescription

As life and lifestyles speed up, so does the growing... Read More

See for Yourself : 12 Step Tools Can Bring Happy, Joyous and Free into Everyones Life

We are all familiar with or have heard of the... Read More

Being Happy

How can one be happy? Is it a tough question?... Read More

Getting To The Root Of Unhappiness

Many people live in clutter, emotionally eat themselves into overweight,... Read More

Getting Connected

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise... Read More

Get Out Those Legos

Many of my clients are working harder than smarter. This... Read More

5 Keys to Understanding Why Your Life (probably) Sucks! #2

In Key Reason #1 we looked at how you are... Read More

Happiness Versus Pleasure

We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend... Read More

Does Money Buy Happiness?

According to researchers like Martin Seligman, Daniel Kahneman and Ed... Read More

Why Laughter Is Good For You

How Laughter Can Reduce Stress and Improve Your HealthA merry... Read More

Increase Your Happiness - Look Forward With Hindsight

Six months ago you had trouble finding your keys and... Read More

Who Controls YOUR Happiness?

Where does happiness fit on a scale of 1 to... Read More

Self Confidence, Happiness, and Posture

Our use of body posture plays a key role in... Read More

7 Unique Ways To Make Someone Smile

Do you want to put a smile on someone's face?... Read More

Life Purpose: How To Be in Love with Life

Falling In Love with LifeThere is no feeling in the... Read More

Smile

How do we smile at each other? Is there a... Read More

Letting Go of Anger and Awaken to Lifes Grand Aventures

Anger can make us feel good and enlivened for a... Read More

The Gift is in the Giving

I have to be honest. I made the woman cashier... Read More

It?s Good to be Goofy

To paraphrase a saying my mother liked to use occasionally,... Read More

Why Do We Feel Happiness?

Although many for us strive for happiness in our daily... Read More

The Art Of Happy Living

What do you think about happiness? A philosophical approach to... Read More

Wisdom

What is wisdom? But first, what are the conditions that... Read More

Its All About Me: Why Its Good to Be Selfish

I started thinking about this topic during a discussion of... Read More

Design Psychology: How Our Sensory Responses to Aromas Create Happy Homes

Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and triggers... Read More

7 Keys to a Happy Life

1. Do not act in order to receive a payoff.This... Read More

Being Together

When it comes to happiness, togetherness is probably the most... Read More

About Happiness and Fulfillment

During a FULFILLMENT seminar, at the University of Arizona for... Read More

The ABCs Of A Great Life: J Is For Joviality

Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of... Read More

Keys to Happiness

"Happiness is the whole aim and end of human... Read More

Can Money Buy You Happiness?

Well, doesn't that depend on what's causing you to be... Read More

How Good Are You?

The demands of being a good person can sometimes mean... Read More

Choose Happiness

It's a beautiful spring day in Beverly Hills, California. I'm... Read More