September 11th changed America and chances are it changed you. Images of that tragic day pop into your mind without warning and you have a constant feeling of anxiety. Awful questions come to mind as well. Will the terrorists strike again? Where will they strike? How many innocent people will be killed?
You may attribute your worries to news reports reports when they're really anticipatory grief -- a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs. The stress of anticipatory grief can become unbearable. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to turn your fear into hope.
1. Focus on the present. Though anticipatory grief shifts your thoughts to the future, you have the mental power to shift them back to the here and now. You have this day and may as well live it to the fullest.
2. Model calm behavior for kids. According to The National Association of School Psychologists kids are reassured by a parent's calm behavior and words. Though you may not feel calm on the inside, try to model calm behavior on the outside for the sake of your children.
3. Pay attention to your children's health. Stress takes a toll on kids so make sure your children eat balanced meals, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. While you're at it, pay attention to your own health.
4. Talk about terrorism. Voicing your worries is better than pushing them to the back of your mind. Share your terrorism thoughts with family members, neighbors, and church friends. You may even wish to start a support group.
5. Talk to your kids about terrorism. Kids' fears can magnify quickly and you don't want that to happen. So tell them the truth: America was attacked by terrorists. Say the attack upset you and it's OK for them to be upset. Be brief and use words your kids will understand.
6. Limit television viewing. Just because there's 24-hour news on television doesn't mean you have to watch it. Young children should NOT see terrorism footage. Turn off the set and get them involved in somethng else.
7. Know your community resources. Locate the nearest hospital, police station, fire station and drive the routes. Put a list of emergency numbers by the phone. Read stories about hospital workers, policemen and women, and fire fighters to young children.
8. Stay in touch with family. Regular contact with family members will prevent needless worry. Give family members a list of contact names, addresses, and phone numbers if you're going away.
9. Make a terrorism plan. Terrorism expert Michael Osterholm, PhD, MPH thinks every family, including his own, needs a plan that includes a central meeting place, redundant systems (such as multiple cell phones) and a back-up system. Distribute the plan to family members.
10. Shift your thinking. Sheila Jowsey, MD, a Mayo Clinic psychiatrist, recommends a shift in thinking "from hopelessness to helpfulness." You do this, Jowsey says, by focusing on available resources and staying current on terroist information.
You can turn your fear of terrorism into hope. Pick a step and start working on it today!
Copyright 2005 by Harriet Hodgson. All rights reserved. Go to www.harriethodgson.com to learn more about her work.
Harriet Hodgson has been a nonfiction writer for 26 years. Her recent work focuses on health and she is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists. Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief, co-authored by Lois Krahn, MD, is her 24th book. Hodgson describes the book as "balm for a wounded soul" and it is available from amazon.com by entering the title or her name. She has also written Alzheimer's: Finding the Words (a communication guide)and The Alzheimer's Caregiver, both published by John Wiley & Sons and available on Amazon. Hodgson is hard at work on her next book, Doctor in the House: An Inside Look at Medical Marriage.
Few of us care to think about the inevitability of... Read More
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us... Read More
("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").We... Read More
Remember the Eulogy projects we had to write back in... Read More
Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and... Read More
Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been... Read More
Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so... Read More
I believe that major change and loss in our lives... Read More
October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me... Read More
In 1969, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross published her famous book; On... Read More
Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and... Read More
Death: No thank you. Dying: Gives me a panic attack.... Read More
Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get... Read More
With my father, his brother and their father having had... Read More
If we were to organize a list of the thorniest... Read More
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me,... Read More
It is one thing to be free; it is quite... Read More
Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding... Read More
Pippin needed assistance from his owner to get to his... Read More
When he looked at me, it was clear my father... Read More
Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns... Read More
One of the areas where I seem to be placing... Read More
When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is... Read More
I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time,... Read More
"Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to... Read More
Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma... Read More
The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states... Read More
When my phone rang the other day, it was a... Read More
Memories are never to be buried along with the loss... Read More
For those who have deeply loved and lost their animal... Read More
It felt like I had been run over by a... Read More
Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should... Read More
When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house,... Read More
"Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to... Read More
Suicide strikes...AGAIN!This may wind up being the most important article... Read More
Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of... Read More
I am an Angel artist and several weeks ago while... Read More
Suicide is a nightmare for survivors of loved ones. Death... Read More
I believe that major change and loss in our lives... Read More
Do you spend most of your time inside or outside... Read More
Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are,... Read More
Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get... Read More
The delight lit my face as the couple turned the... Read More
Over one hundred years ago, during the Victorian era, death... Read More
All of us at one time or another have felt... Read More
Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it... Read More
Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of... Read More
Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of... Read More
For most children, their first experience with grief comes with... Read More
When I was born in 1962 I thought life was... Read More
Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding... Read More
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me,... Read More
The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult... Read More
I got an email recently from someone whose mother died.... Read More
My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age... Read More
Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma... Read More
Like it or not, we think in line with our... Read More
In my work as a coach and therapist, I have... Read More
Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and... Read More
Have you ever lost the ability to laugh? I did.When... Read More
Why We Fear Death"Men fear death as children fear to... Read More
Coping with the death of a loved one is never... Read More
When my phone rang the other day, it was a... Read More
I didn't know a heart could die before it stopped... Read More
Recently, several suicides have occurred right here in my own... Read More
During the 28 years I have been interacting with bereaved... Read More
Dealing with Grief & Loss |