Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I was. Her death was not the way I would want my own death to be. When my time comes, I want no heroic measures, since for me they simply postpone the inevitable. And watching the family feud that took place between her husband and her parents, with all the tension and the anger, saddened me terribly. Peace should be the last emotion Terry felt, but who knows if she heard only the angry words passed between those she loved. No one should have to die as she did.
What a shame. At the same time, look at the two different approaches to grief presented to us, one by her husband Michael and the other by her parents the Schindlers. Michael was clearly ready to "lay her gently down," he was prepared to move on with his new life and to "begin again" with his fiancee and two young children. Some say he was ready a bit too soon, but I disagree. Grief takes as long as it needs, there is no clock for the soul. Her parents, on the other hand, were clearly unable to give her up yet. It is understandable that parents would be so protective of their kids, and I don't know what I would do if, God forbid, one of my own kids was in a similar state.
I am not judging, just pointing out the differences in style and approach in this wrenching drama. For Terri's parents, despite how they may feel now, they must know that there is still hope for them. There is a new future which they will soon help create; there will be new challenges for them and their family which they cannot yet know. When you are grieving, you often lose sight of the future, because the present is so draining. But no matter what has been taken from you there is hope. They still have each other and they still have a life in front of them. I certainly pray that they will find healing and consolation, and that Terri's memories will bring them peace.
It is one thing to be free; it is quite... Read More
Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and... Read More
Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25,... Read More
New Tears [about Grieving]If it rains or shinesLittle does it... Read More
I am an Angel artist and several weeks ago while... Read More
If tears are an indication of how special my relationship... Read More
For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence -... Read More
In my work as a coach and therapist, I have... Read More
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me,... Read More
There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days... Read More
Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and... Read More
Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so... Read More
The impatient tooting of a car horn startled us into... Read More
1) Don't try to make the grieving person feel better.... Read More
"Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to... Read More
I believe that major change and loss in our lives... Read More
I didn't know a heart could die before it stopped... Read More
For most children, their first experience with grief comes with... Read More
Never, since man has walked upright, have people all over... Read More
Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate... Read More
Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing... Read More
Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get... Read More
One of the areas where I seem to be placing... Read More
September 11, 2001, marked yet another significant turning point in... Read More
Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it... Read More
Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for... Read More
I am 23 years old. I come from a large... Read More
All of us at one time or another have felt... Read More
When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house,... Read More
Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding... Read More
Have you ever sat down and played a piano where... Read More
I've always waited for the perfect moment to be happy:... Read More
During the 28 years I have been interacting with bereaved... Read More
In my work as a coach and therapist, I have... Read More
Like it or not, we think in line with our... Read More
Memories are never to be buried along with the loss... Read More
Suicide strikes...AGAIN!This may wind up being the most important article... Read More
Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of... Read More
Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding... Read More
Suicide is the one form of death that has quite... Read More
You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples... Read More
The following is a report that indicates how you might... Read More
Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma... Read More
Do you spend most of your time inside or outside... Read More
I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time,... Read More
Too many people are dying alone?The dying are one of... Read More
If tears are an indication of how special my relationship... Read More
When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or... Read More
WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am... Read More
Pippin needed assistance from his owner to get to his... Read More
When he looked at me, it was clear my father... Read More
September 11, 2001, marked yet another significant turning point in... Read More
"Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead."... Read More
In a town the size of mine - about 16,000... Read More
I got an email recently from someone whose mother died.... Read More
Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for... Read More
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us... Read More
No one likes to think about illness and death, when... Read More
One of the areas where I seem to be placing... Read More
Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face... Read More
It was a moment I will never forget.On February 22,... Read More
When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is... Read More
Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of... Read More
The delight lit my face as the couple turned the... Read More
When I was born in 1962 I thought life was... Read More
Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should... Read More
Dealing with Grief & Loss |