If Ever It Is Me

With my father, his brother and their father having had late onset Alzheimer's I can't help but wonder if someday it will be my fate. This is what I have told my family.

If it is ever me with Alzheimer's disease please protect me. I don't want to be lost. I have a terrible fear of ever being lost. Keep me safe from those who would take advantage of my confusion. Keep me fed and clean and dry. That having been said...please don't try to keep me at home any longer than you can do it without taking a toll on your lives. If this is my fate let me be in a happy place in my mind where you are my babies and I will give you hugs and kisses even if I don't call you by name.

Let me be a part of your life but don't surrender your life for mine. I want my husband to have a wife. I don't especially want to meet her, but I do want him to keep living once I no longer understand. I want to keep as much dignity as I can for as long as I can and I want those who love me to understand that if I am not myself on the outside I am still me on the inside.

Bring me a puppy to cuddle, home made cookies to eat and soft blankets to cover me. Fill my room with pictures of my life so I can look at them and know I am loved.

Don't ask me about my life...tell me about my life. Feel free to leave out the times I wasn't at my best, or times that bring back painful memories (deaths of those I loved). Tell me about the good times.

Deborah Uetz author of Into the Mist, When Someone You Love Has Alzheimer's Disease

---

Whats It All About?

For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence -... Read More

Pet Loss: Significant and Profound Loss or Much Ado about Nothing?

For those who have deeply loved and lost their animal... Read More

Death, Close and Personal

I got an email recently from someone whose mother died.... Read More

Pope John Paul II

WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am... Read More

After Suicide: Returning to Life, Thanks to an Owl

Have you ever lost the ability to laugh? I did.When... Read More

Silent Tears - from a Norwegian Hospital

Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds... Read More

How to Deal with Suicide and Euthenasia

The following is a report that indicates how you might... Read More

How to Turn Grief into Joy

I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me,... Read More

Handicapped From Suicide

I am 23 years old. I come from a large... Read More

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of... Read More

Terminal Illness- Death and Grief

No one likes to think about illness and death, when... Read More

Grief & Loss - Healing Your Broken Heart

What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us... Read More

Tenderizing

Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate... Read More

How To Heal Your Heart

We all experience severe heart break at some time in... Read More

One Womans Way of Dealing With Grief

All of us at one time or another have felt... Read More

Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide

Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so... Read More

Grief Masks

October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me... Read More

How to Deal With A Death in the Family and Still Run Your Small Business

As a small business owner we have to deal with... Read More

You Can Help A Grieving Heart

Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and... Read More

Afraid Of Dying? Afraid Of Living!

Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns... Read More

Coping with Grief - Its Called Living Through It

"Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead."... Read More

We are the Reflection of our Lives: How to Survive Loss & Humility

Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face... Read More

Liberation

It is one thing to be free; it is quite... Read More

Lessons We Learned From Terri Schiavo

Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for... Read More

Signs After Suicide: The Red Butterfly

Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get... Read More

Scared to Death of Dying and Denying Grief

When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house,... Read More

Made in Heaven

Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of... Read More

Grief Support: The Dos

Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do?... Read More

Sympathy Flowers

Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of... Read More

Trial by Fire - 9 Tips for Grieving Couples

You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples... Read More

Anticipatory Grief and Ongoing Sadness for Caregivers

In 1969, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross published her famous book; On... Read More

GoodBye GrandMa

My dearest Grandma, I will never forget you & sorry... Read More

Men and Grief

Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it... Read More