Trial by Fire - 9 Tips for Grieving Couples

You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples together, but it can actually do just the opposite. It is possible to emerge on the other side of grief with a closer marriage, but it does take work.

Here are some tips adapted from the book "Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death" that can help your marriage survive the stress of loss:

1. Give each other the freedom to grieve in an individual way.
Resist the temptation to feel that your way is the only way to handle loss. Do not be fooled if it seems that your spouse has not been affected by the loss.

2. Remember the good times.
Think about activities you enjoy as a couple and make time to do them- even if you do not feel up to it yet.

3. Expect tough times.
Be tolerant with your mate and understand that you are both going to fail each other during this turbulent time.

4. Do not lash out at one another.
In a weakened state of grief, this will only push you apart. Find constructive ways to release the stress and anger of grief.

5. Prepare for change.
Loss and grief change people and it will change the face of your marriage. Decide together that this trial will bring you closer and commit to your relationship.

6. Reach out.
Resist the urge to spend time away from your mate or reach out to others who better understand your grief.

7. Avoid placing blame.
Tossing accusations at your spouse will only place a wedge in your relationship. Understand that feelings of guilt, anger, and confusion are normal during this time.

8. Love each other.
Be sure to offer the hugs, cuddling, and love that each partner needs to feel secure and supported. Be sure to resume your physical relationship as soon as possible.

9. Seek information and support.
Educate yourselves on grief and try to understand one another. If you are having difficulties resolving your grief as a couple and you feel your marriage is in trouble, get help immediately! Do not wait until it is too late to seek help.

There are no easy answers for couples dealing with pregnancy loss. It is crucial that you make the decision to put your marriage first and then do it!

Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death is available online at http://www.HopeXchange.com, Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com or by calling HopeXchange Publishing at 757-826-2162.

Lisa Church is author of "Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death" and founder of HopeXchange, a company dedicated to helping women and their families facing miscarriage.

To find miscarriage support and sign up for her FREE, monthly newsletter visit http://www.HopeXchange.com

---

Sympathy Flowers

Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of... Read More

Dads, Life, and Death

When he looked at me, it was clear my father... Read More

Made in Heaven

Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of... Read More

Suicide - An Eternal Pain

Suicide is the one form of death that has quite... Read More

Graceful Grief: Angelic Help is on the Way!

I believe that major change and loss in our lives... Read More

After Suicide: Returning to Life, Thanks to an Owl

Have you ever lost the ability to laugh? I did.When... Read More

How To Heal Your Heart

We all experience severe heart break at some time in... Read More

Grief Support: The Dos

Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do?... Read More

Then and Now

Over one hundred years ago, during the Victorian era, death... Read More

How to Turn Grief into Joy

I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me,... Read More

The Lesson of a Mothers Death

Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25,... Read More

Am I a Mother - Tips for Handling Mother?s Day After Miscarriage

Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are,... Read More

Traumas as Social Interactions

("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").We... Read More

In the Blink of an Eye

Today's Quote: "My house is burned down, but I can... Read More

Death of a Parent: Saying Good-Bye to Mommy or Daddy

Coping with the death of a loved one is never... Read More

Mexico: Death in Mexico

Death: No thank you. Dying: Gives me a panic attack.... Read More

Trial by Fire - 9 Tips for Grieving Couples

You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples... Read More

Adapting to the Loss of a Loved One: Three Tips on how to Cope

Have you ever sat down and played a piano where... Read More

Dealing With Grief and Loss - How to Mend a Broken Heart

What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us... Read More

Why Does God Allow Suffering?

Justin was a typical ten year old boy. He liked... Read More

The Twists and Turns of Life

When I was born in 1962 I thought life was... Read More

How to Deal with Suicide and Euthenasia

The following is a report that indicates how you might... Read More

Whats It All About?

For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence -... Read More

Suicide in the Church Part 1

Recently, several suicides have occurred right here in my own... Read More

Physiological Consequences of Carrying Emotional Trauma

Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma... Read More

Sympathy Messages

The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult... Read More

Present Moment Awareness: Lessons From My Dog

I've always waited for the perfect moment to be happy:... Read More

What is an Appropriate Sympathy Gift?

When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is... Read More

Good Grief!

If tears are an indication of how special my relationship... Read More

The Creative Side of Healing

One of the areas where I seem to be placing... Read More

The Look of Grief

Never, since man has walked upright, have people all over... Read More

The Valley of Sorrow or My Life as a Well Digger

It felt like I had been run over by a... Read More

Afraid Of Dying? Afraid Of Living!

Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns... Read More