Five Tired, Worn Out Speaking Cliches

The subject of public speaking is riddled with tired, worn out cliches we ought to throw out. Here are a few to let go of:

1. "Public speaking is the #1 fear."

You can count on hearing this one any time you take a presentation skills class. The problem is, there's nothing to substantiate it. The quoted source for this "fact" is usually The Book of Lists, which, even in current editions, shows a tiny blurb in the Sunday Times of London from October 7, 1973, as its source. In this article, no mention is made of who did this research, how it was conducted, who the subjects were, whether the subjects were a representative sample of the U.S. population-nothing! Not to mention the fact that this "research" is 30 years old. Haven't people changed in 30 years? And don't we face new fears that weren't even in our consciousness in 1973? Of course. If this research were to be conducted with rigor today, we would likely have a different outcome. This tidy, shocking factoid is easily trotted out when we want to make a point, but it's just not valid. Time to let this one go.

2. "Picture the audience members naked."

OK. So you're nervous about your presentation. Perhaps you're feeling vulnerable and exposed. The solution? Imagine your audience in a humiliating position and, presto, everybody's equally degraded! Does this set up powerful communication? I think not. Rather than mentally stripping (pardon the pun) audience members of dignity so you can feel better, concentrate instead on lifting your own self-image. Besides, there are some people you just don't want to see naked.

3. "If you're too nervous to look them in the eye, look just above their heads at the back wall."

Please. You can tell when someone is looking past you, right? At a party, it's unmistakable when people shift their eyes past your shoulder to see if someone "more important" has entered the room. Besides, the back wall doesn't get a puzzled look when it doesn't understand, nor does it raise its hand when it has something to say. But your listeners do. You have to see them in order to address those needs. You can spend your whole life avoiding eyeballs. Although it might ease your nerves, it defeats the purpose of your talk: to connect. Better to spend time getting over the fear of eyeballs watching you than making audience members wonder, "What on earth is she looking at back there?"

4. "Make eye contact for 3 to 5 seconds per person."

Of course, it's important to look at your listeners. How else can you know if they're following or if they have questions? But giving each person 3 to 5 seconds of eye contact can make you seem mechanical. When I see someone following this rigid rule I can almost hear that person mentally saying "one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi." Lee Glickstein, founder of SPEAKING CIRCLES(R) and author of the book Be Heard Now, calls this kind of eye contact "eye service" because when you're following a rule, you're not really connecting; you're just checking a box. ("Woman in the red jacket: check. Guy in the blue tie: check.") Meaningful connections can't be reduced to a technique. Be flexible enough to really see those listeners and let go of the rules.

5. "Find one or two friendly faces in the audience and just speak to them."

It's nice to have support, but when you give the speech to just one or two people, you risk alienating the very supporters you're counting on. If you've ever been on the receiving end of this, you know what I mean. These friendly faces desperately wish you would look at someone else. Besides, if you're facing non-supporters, wouldn't you rather know what they're up to so you can handle their discontent? Often, you can win over those grouchy faces by simply answering a question or addressing a basic concern. If you block the grouches out entirely so you feel more comfortable, they'll be more unhappy because you ignored them. Find encouragement in the supportive faces, yes, but speak to the whole group.

*The SPEAKING CIRCLE(R) method is a revolutionary new approach for developing confidence and charisma in front of groups. For more information, visit http://www.speakingcircles.com.

About The Author

Melissa Lewis turns traditional thinking about public speaking upside down to give people more comfort, confidence, and charisma in front of groups. For more information, call (913) 341-1241 or visit www.upsidedownspeaking.com.

melissa@upsidedownspeaking.com

---

Let Your Appearance Speak for You, Not Against You!

Every 7 seconds another baby boomer turns 50. What does... Read More

The Ten Habits of Highly Effective Speakers

Successful speakers do not do all the right things all... Read More

How To Make A Blue Ribbon Presentation Every Time

You can make a Blue Ribbon presentation each and every... Read More

How to Polish Your Speaking Skills: Its Time for T.I.P.S.

When requested to write an article about public speaking tips,... Read More

Speaking Body Language

I observed an almost surreal event when I was a... Read More

If You Arent a Little Nervous, You Arent Paying Attention

The fear of public speaking is one of the most... Read More

10 Worst Tips To Give A Speaker

1. Learn the speech by heart or read it from... Read More

Speak With a Relaxed Body and Mind

Fear of public speaking is No.1. Death is No.4. So... Read More

How to Prepare your Mind/Body to Give Great Speeches

Sure you have catecholamines ? all speakers do. (including Sir... Read More

Demand Dignity in Public Speaking Training

Mandy*, a bright, attractive professional woman, had a fear of... Read More

Are You Talking the Talk?

"More learning occurs through emotion than through intellect" C.S. LewisEven... Read More

Giving Presentations: Public Speaking Secrets in a Nutshell

A high level manager contacted me in a panic. He... Read More

Timing - Why You Should Never Go Overtime with Your Presentation or Speech

In a conference setting, nothing annoys audiences more than talks... Read More

Make The Most of Examples and Stories

Examples and stories can bring your presentations alive. They can... Read More

Take The Fear Out Of Public Speaking

You're a bright, dynamic executive. You've been scheduled to give... Read More

Speaking On Your Feet

Your ability to communicate effectively will account for most of... Read More

How to Use Public Speaking to Attract Clients

When Robert Middleton moved his marketing consulting practice, Action Plan... Read More

Youre Making Me Nervous

Almost everybody is nervous when they stand up to speak.... Read More

Lose Stagefright Over Your Lunch Hour

While teaching a two-day Speaking Confidence program to a group... Read More

The Top 5 Public Speaking Questions Answered

There are a number of questions that we consistently get... Read More

What is YOUR Speaking Expertise?

Why do you have to be an expert when getting... Read More

Shortcuts to Eloquence

You have probably had the experience of listening to a... Read More

Speech Tips - Ten Things to Remember When Accepting an Award

Many people are recognised for their work, industry, sporting or... Read More

Poised for Success: How Developing Self-Awareness Can Improve Your Presentations

There are a number of factors that determine how your... Read More

Be Brief!

Centuries ago great speakers often spoke two hours and more.... Read More

10 Tips for Better -- and Less Scary! -- Public Speaking

The fear of speaking in public is well-documented, often discussed,... Read More

Ten Tips on Speaking with Authority and Power

No matter how good you are as a presenter, there... Read More

What is Public Speaking?

When we talk about public speaking, we usually think about... Read More

13 Publicity Tips for Professional Speakers

In a funk because other speakers seem to be snagging... Read More

You Too Can Be A Public Speaker

Have you ever watched a speaker and said, "Wow, I... Read More

Public Speaking Tips: Lessons From Former US President Ronald Reagan

If you want public speaking tips, what are the ten... Read More

A Powerful Vocabulary Will Transform Your Life

Studies show that your word-power determines your earning power, that... Read More

15 Ways To Keep Your Speaking Inspiring and Creative

When stressed or blocked it is wise to make a... Read More