Sexual Abuse. A Story From A Survivor.

Uncle Liam was very kind to me again. He gave me more candies when I went to his grocery shop that morning. He always did. But I did not understand why he likes to touch and pinch my cheek.

My visit to Uncle Liam's shop was quite frequent. He has a daughter about my age and we played together a lot. Mom and dad got to know him because he was the friendly neighborhood grocery shop owner who always treated his customers well. He even sent orders right at our doorsteps.

It's been three years since I moved to this part of the country with my mom. Dad was away working in another foreign land and he thought that it would be best that we stayed somewhere close to my grandma.

That day Uncle Liam told me that his wife would be away to her mother's house for many days. They are going to have another baby and she wants her mother to take care of her during the confinement period. I did not know what it meant but it did not matter.

He asked whether I would like to keep his daughter's company and spend a few nights so that we could play, have fun and sleep together. After getting mom's permission I was happy to be spending lots of time with my friend, Maria.

There was no bed lamp in Maria's room. The only light was from the rays that penetrated through the translucent window shutters. I was not afraid though, just not used to her room. But sleep came finally.

And then I was awakened and saw this figure above me. He looked like Uncle Liam. He put his index finger on his lips, a gesture that I guessed was to tell me to keep quiet. Then he lifted me and carried me to another room. He laid me down and neither of us said anything. He pulled down my pajama pants, unbuttoned my blouse and touched me.

That happened thirteen years ago. And today I heard of his death. He was twenty years my senior but I still thought that he was rather young to meet his creator. He has brought along to his grave the secret that we both shared.

Oh?No, I have not forgiven. This man whom my parents trusted and whom I regard as an uncle has shattered my youthful spirit, my dignity and my whole life.

If only my parent's, teachers and friends knew why I misbehaved, probably they would feel more compassionate. But I can't bear to tell my mom. It would break her heart. And dad was never around. And when he was it was like I did not exist.

My soul weeps in pain. There I was, a ten year old girl who has not even physically developed myself into a woman. There was nothing about me that would have enticed anyone sexually.

I felt I was not worthy enough for anyone, not even myself. I punished myself by having illicit affairs. I did drugs and almost took my own life. And I when I awakened on the hospital bed, I was still fully alive. As the years went by, I was only a few steps away from a correction home or the jail.

It was a long and painful journey to remove the guilt and shame that I carried with me. It was a journey of pain and sufferings, of identifying my personality and my sense of self.

It was courage, determination and a decision to fight back that brought me back my life. I have punished myself enough and I was destroying my life more than what he did to me. I finally admitted that it was not my fault. I was one of the unfortunate children to have to go through sexual abuse.

Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes to help people become aware that any future success starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com

---

Condition or Definition?

In talking with a coaching client recently, she made a... Read More

Discovering Opportunity in Times of Challenge

You may be facing a type of disappointment, frustration, loss,... Read More

Never Quitting is an Attitude

Never Quitting Equals Success Most people who achieve fortunes in... Read More

Improve Your Self Confidence

Knowing yourself is the foundation of self-esteem, self confidence and... Read More

Creative Visualization For Successful Goal Achievement

No one becomes successful by accident. Motivational speaker Les Brown... Read More

The View From Nana and Papas

I'm a working mother with a preschooler, worrying about Mom... Read More

Thanks For The Rejection!

It sounds a little masochistic, but I actually appreciate being... Read More

The Language of Confidence

The language we use programs our brains. Mastering our language... Read More

Self-Confidence Secrets: Measure Your Successes

Would you like to be confident in the things you... Read More

Becoming Excellent: Outsmarting Racism

Thinkers know better than to be racist. It's generally understood... Read More

How To Radically Improve Your Everyday Experience Of Life In Two Simple Steps

Can you do something for me?Tell me?Please don't think tomorrow.What?Yeah,... Read More

The 5 Winning Beliefs To Accomplish Anything In Life

A more positive future, a happier life, a body that's... Read More

Releasing Self Sabotage for Success and Happiness in Life

Today, I wanted to mention this notion of self-sabotage.I recently... Read More

A Rain Secret To Change Your Mind

Heard of a raindance? It is a ritual used by... Read More

Feeling Grouchy? Heres What to Do

I woke up this morning feeling sour.No. That's an understatement.... Read More

Life as a Burden Vs. Live as a Privilege

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass... Read More

Impact of Positive and Negative Catalysts on Events in Human Lives

Have you ever noticed what can happen if you just... Read More

From The WorkWise Collection: Transform Your Fears into Positive Power

Fear is a double-edged sword. It can hold you back... Read More

You Are Magnificent! Creating Self-Confidence

The image you hold of yourself determines your success or... Read More

Overcoming Bad Moods

From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people... Read More

How I Make And Save Thousands Of Dollars Using Only My Subconscious Mind-You Can Do The Same!

Thousands of dollars will be yours, just by using your... Read More

Success or Failure: How to Cope With Failure

There is no such thing as failure ? only feedback... Read More

White Sun: How to Cultivate Ones Body

Drinking damages the soul; being lustful damages the vitality; greed... Read More

Establish What you Want with NLP

Recently, a lady came to see me and she had... Read More

Succeed with a Positive Mental Attitude

"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude... Read More

How To Condition Your Mind For Success

Your mindset is a strong factor in achieving any type... Read More

Quick Tips On Making Change Work For You

Facing a change and want to make it work for... Read More

Scented, Spiritual Waters

Water is an important tool for magic rituals in many... Read More

I Know I Can, I Know I Can

I'm sure most of you remember the children's book about... Read More

Feel Those Feelings and Develop Emotional Intelligence

There is an old joke about a man who is... Read More

Let Go of Resentment

Maureen worked in an office with twenty other people, processing... Read More

Top Tips for the Temporary Move

Question: "It's only three months. Or six months. Or a... Read More

Growing Optimistically

Spring is here at last! The season brings with it... Read More