Sexual Abuse. A Story From A Survivor.

Uncle Liam was very kind to me again. He gave me more candies when I went to his grocery shop that morning. He always did. But I did not understand why he likes to touch and pinch my cheek.

My visit to Uncle Liam's shop was quite frequent. He has a daughter about my age and we played together a lot. Mom and dad got to know him because he was the friendly neighborhood grocery shop owner who always treated his customers well. He even sent orders right at our doorsteps.

It's been three years since I moved to this part of the country with my mom. Dad was away working in another foreign land and he thought that it would be best that we stayed somewhere close to my grandma.

That day Uncle Liam told me that his wife would be away to her mother's house for many days. They are going to have another baby and she wants her mother to take care of her during the confinement period. I did not know what it meant but it did not matter.

He asked whether I would like to keep his daughter's company and spend a few nights so that we could play, have fun and sleep together. After getting mom's permission I was happy to be spending lots of time with my friend, Maria.

There was no bed lamp in Maria's room. The only light was from the rays that penetrated through the translucent window shutters. I was not afraid though, just not used to her room. But sleep came finally.

And then I was awakened and saw this figure above me. He looked like Uncle Liam. He put his index finger on his lips, a gesture that I guessed was to tell me to keep quiet. Then he lifted me and carried me to another room. He laid me down and neither of us said anything. He pulled down my pajama pants, unbuttoned my blouse and touched me.

That happened thirteen years ago. And today I heard of his death. He was twenty years my senior but I still thought that he was rather young to meet his creator. He has brought along to his grave the secret that we both shared.

Oh?No, I have not forgiven. This man whom my parents trusted and whom I regard as an uncle has shattered my youthful spirit, my dignity and my whole life.

If only my parent's, teachers and friends knew why I misbehaved, probably they would feel more compassionate. But I can't bear to tell my mom. It would break her heart. And dad was never around. And when he was it was like I did not exist.

My soul weeps in pain. There I was, a ten year old girl who has not even physically developed myself into a woman. There was nothing about me that would have enticed anyone sexually.

I felt I was not worthy enough for anyone, not even myself. I punished myself by having illicit affairs. I did drugs and almost took my own life. And I when I awakened on the hospital bed, I was still fully alive. As the years went by, I was only a few steps away from a correction home or the jail.

It was a long and painful journey to remove the guilt and shame that I carried with me. It was a journey of pain and sufferings, of identifying my personality and my sense of self.

It was courage, determination and a decision to fight back that brought me back my life. I have punished myself enough and I was destroying my life more than what he did to me. I finally admitted that it was not my fault. I was one of the unfortunate children to have to go through sexual abuse.

Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes to help people become aware that any future success starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com

---

Not A Negative Thought!

Turn negative thoughts into positive ones.Negative thoughts can be very... Read More

Magic Mirror Exercise

Good morning I love you.This is a basic exercise, which... Read More

Personal Assignments for Great Self-Esteem

Do you wish you had high self-confidence? Some of us... Read More

Spring Into Enchantment

Who can control a smile sneaking across your face as... Read More

Growing Optimistically

Spring is here at last! The season brings with it... Read More

Positive Changes Achieved by Exercising Mind, Body & Spirit

My story explains the struggles I had as a 23-year-old... Read More

3 Ways to Change Roadblocks into Valuable Tools

Our initial reaction when hitting a setback or a "roadblock,... Read More

Failure is Celebration Time

Failure is my favorite subject. For I have spent my... Read More

Financial Abundance And Peace Of Mind Are One!

There are only two emotions we can experience; love or... Read More

Becoming Excellent: Outsmarting Racism

Thinkers know better than to be racist. It's generally understood... Read More

Anger - The Truth Beneath

The other day one of my "challenging clients" and I... Read More

Cant Take a Compliment?

"Putting ourselves down, is an insult to our worth." --Helen... Read More

Turning Fear Into Power

How would your life shift if you moved into what... Read More

How to Plan a Vacations of the Mind

Part 1Recently, in a women's therapy group that I run,... Read More

Living Mindfully

Normally I race around multitasking. I am always thinking about... Read More

How to Have a Life of Satisfaction - Guaranteed!

Satisfaction 100% guaranteed or your money back! That was the... Read More

Accepting Rejected Thoughts

Sometimes we are in a position to look into the... Read More

Self Confidence and the Way You Use Your Words

The way we use language can have a huge impact... Read More

Watch Your Mouth

Ever had one of those mothers, or grandmothers, who would... Read More

Find Your Inner Strength to Tackle Any Challenge

Everyone faces challenges during their life, from suffering the death... Read More

Dump Those Negative Tapes

Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for... Read More

The Power of Positive Thinking - Turn a Bad Day Around!

Turn brutality into kindness. There is no small deed and... Read More

Moving? Pack an Emotional First Aid Kit

From Making the Big Move: how to transform relocation into... Read More

Positive Mental Attitude

Look at this glass on the table in front of... Read More

Give Your Attitude A Little Altitude

Need a way to make your life a better place... Read More

Negative Thoughts to Positive Thoughts

Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts is a key lesson... Read More

Success, the Only Option

One often hears people say they can't sketch because they... Read More

Accepting Change

Well I've finally done it...I turned my heat on. After... Read More

Then My Boss Said, Take That Fear And Shove It!

Hey gang; Ok it's time to create some good habits.... Read More

Gain Confidence By Avoiding The Trap Past Experiences Can Give You In Life

One of the biggest potential problems we face with every... Read More

Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?

Often, I've come across individuals who, while in conversation, will... Read More

Universal Thought Systems #4

Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More

Where Do You Get A Positive Attitude You Asked?

How are you? Where do you get a positive attitude... Read More