Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't know yourself well enough to appreciate how basically wonderful you are. This is not empty flattery. It is true.

Sadly, many of us are totally estranged from ourselves, from what really makes us tick. This ignorance of our true nature results in relentless self-sabotage of both our work lives and all our relationships with people.

Whether you call it fear of failure or fear of success, self-sabotage can manifest in any number of ways. These behaviors run the gamut from seemingly harmless quirks to extreme masochistic behaviors. Here's a small assortment:

- constant tardiness
- clumsiness, accident proneness
- failure to keep promises or honor commitments
- staying stuck in an unfulfilling job
- perfectionism
- feeling like a fraud, afraid that you'll be exposed
- feeling empty, hollow despite outward success
- workaholism
- consistently poor choice of partners
- being a jack of all trades, master of none
- not knowing what you want to be "when you grow up"
- life-threatening addictions
- self-mutilation

Self-sabotage, no matter how it sneaks in, ultimately results in not allowing ourselves to get what we want. Why? The bottom line is that we feel we don't deserve it.

To overcome the effects of low self-esteem, it is not enough to recognize that we have it. We need to understand WHY we have it. We must get in touch with who and what we genuinely are rather than who and what we think we are.

We Must Clean Out Our Mental Filter

We must sniff out the internalized messages from family and society that hinder our progress. This is imperative, for it is through these core beliefs that all other ideas are filtered.

We cannot just slap a new behavior or some positive thinking onto a flawed subconscious belief. Until the core beliefs are rectified, our progress will be spotty and short-lived at best.

We absolutely must examine how these core beliefs came into being. You guessed it. We need to go rummaging through our early childhood experiences.

I can hear it already. "Oh, no, don't give me that 'Poor Little Kid' routine!"

Okay, I won't. Instead, I'll give you the "Who IS This Little Kid?" routine.

When we go delving into our past to determine the underlying dynamics of our psyches, the goal is:

- Not to cast blame
- Not to pass judgment
- Not to fob off our responsibility onto someone else

We're not looking for what is good or what is bad, but simply what IS.

It is vital that we grant ourselves permission to look closely at what happened to us as very young children. We are searching for clues to the Truth of our early history.

Our goal is simply to appreciate our own personal saga and become fonder of ourselves in the process. As we do so, we will automatically feel more entitled to be happy and fulfilled in both our work and love lives.

That is our ultimate goal, and a worthier goal could not be had.

Where Else Do You Think You Can Look?

If your first reaction is to dismiss this idea as something you've heard about before, be aware that "knowing about" something is a far cry from understanding it or applying it.

And if you're one of the many who think you "don't need to go there," just know that you won't find your personal truth anywhere else.

Whether self-sabotage is ruining our lives or just quietly making us miserable, a start on the road to overcoming these self-defeating behaviors can be undertaken on our own.

If we should get stuck along the road, professional help through private therapists, clinics, and school or job counselors is generally available.

Once the underlying dynamics of our self-defeating behaviors are exposed and dealt with, it will be much easier to stop self-defeating behaviors in their tracks, before they have a chance to undermine us.

Once we reintegrate all of our personal power back into our lives, a whole new vista of possibilities opens up before us. This is a deeply exhilarating experience that none of us should miss.

Rosella Aranda, Editor, Author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to getting rid of self-defeating behaviors. http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/

Free mini-course!
http://www.FromThoughtsToRiches.com/
Know How to Be Rich

---

The 5 Winning Beliefs To Accomplish Anything In Life

A more positive future, a happier life, a body that's... Read More

Take a Gratitude Break

An old Joni Mitchell song reminds us, "don't it always... Read More

Power of Positive Beliefs

I am an educator as well as a coach and... Read More

Garbage Words In - Garbage Thinking Out

"At birth, a baby's brain contains 100 billion neurons, roughly... Read More

The Rat Race and Smiling Over Spilt Coffee

As if choreographed and rehearsed the night before, one lays... Read More

Help Yourself to a Better Future

There are very many methods for achieving improvement to our... Read More

Why Positive Thinking Doesnt Work!

There was someone I used to work with who, well... Read More

Four Powerful Pathways Into The Light And Sound Of Ones

The easiest, most exciting adventure in consciousness follows the lamplit... Read More

Top Ten Ways to a More Positive Outlook on Winter

Year after year I find more and more individuals saying... Read More

Anchoring Positivity With NLP

There was some sunshine this weekend while I was writing... Read More

Anger And Your Health

HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGERJane... Read More

Your Choice of Music can Shape Your Beliefs

Music is very powerful. The kind of music you listen... Read More

Universal Thought Systems Language #3

Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More

Get Some Attitude!

You've been looking for a job for as long as... Read More

Positive Mental Attitude

Look at this glass on the table in front of... Read More

Its Okay to Be Negative Sometimes!

Lately, I've been hearing that it's not okay to have... Read More

How You Treat People Matters

I encountered several interesting people that really taught me something.... Read More

Enlarge Your Vision

Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More

Change Your Attitude from a Whiner to a Winner

Who are the Whiners? Whiners are the people who always... Read More

Change and Transition - 10 Steps to Surviving Change Elegantly

If I say the word "CHANGE" how do you feel?... Read More

How Do You Habitually Treat Yourself?

In order to learn how to relieve ourselves of self-defeating... Read More

Taking Responsibility for Yourself

This week I happened to catch a few minutes of... Read More

Negative Thoughts to Positive Thoughts

Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts is a key lesson... Read More

Anger - The Truth Beneath

The other day one of my "challenging clients" and I... Read More

Positive Self-Talk

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and... Read More

What You Can Do As A Non-Raging Mate To Either Fix The Relationship Or Forget It

(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower,... Read More

Top Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker

We all know there are ways to become a better... Read More

Failure is Only Feedback

Does the thought of failure send a cold shiver down... Read More

How To Self Talk Your Way To Success?

Dear Friends,All human beings have a unique ability right from... Read More

What Every Manager Should Know About How to Look Beyond His Attitude

Once we understand the difference our attitude makes in our... Read More

Your Thoughts Are Powerful

The only thing between you and your desire to be... Read More

Chanel Your Prosperity Energy Today

Every emotion, wether we classify it as good or bad,... Read More

A Solution For Trouble? Try This Breath Of Fresh Air!

I just heard the story of a man who hired... Read More