Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't know yourself well enough to appreciate how basically wonderful you are. This is not empty flattery. It is true.

Sadly, many of us are totally estranged from ourselves, from what really makes us tick. This ignorance of our true nature results in relentless self-sabotage of both our work lives and all our relationships with people.

Whether you call it fear of failure or fear of success, self-sabotage can manifest in any number of ways. These behaviors run the gamut from seemingly harmless quirks to extreme masochistic behaviors. Here's a small assortment:

- constant tardiness
- clumsiness, accident proneness
- failure to keep promises or honor commitments
- staying stuck in an unfulfilling job
- perfectionism
- feeling like a fraud, afraid that you'll be exposed
- feeling empty, hollow despite outward success
- workaholism
- consistently poor choice of partners
- being a jack of all trades, master of none
- not knowing what you want to be "when you grow up"
- life-threatening addictions
- self-mutilation

Self-sabotage, no matter how it sneaks in, ultimately results in not allowing ourselves to get what we want. Why? The bottom line is that we feel we don't deserve it.

To overcome the effects of low self-esteem, it is not enough to recognize that we have it. We need to understand WHY we have it. We must get in touch with who and what we genuinely are rather than who and what we think we are.

We Must Clean Out Our Mental Filter

We must sniff out the internalized messages from family and society that hinder our progress. This is imperative, for it is through these core beliefs that all other ideas are filtered.

We cannot just slap a new behavior or some positive thinking onto a flawed subconscious belief. Until the core beliefs are rectified, our progress will be spotty and short-lived at best.

We absolutely must examine how these core beliefs came into being. You guessed it. We need to go rummaging through our early childhood experiences.

I can hear it already. "Oh, no, don't give me that 'Poor Little Kid' routine!"

Okay, I won't. Instead, I'll give you the "Who IS This Little Kid?" routine.

When we go delving into our past to determine the underlying dynamics of our psyches, the goal is:

- Not to cast blame
- Not to pass judgment
- Not to fob off our responsibility onto someone else

We're not looking for what is good or what is bad, but simply what IS.

It is vital that we grant ourselves permission to look closely at what happened to us as very young children. We are searching for clues to the Truth of our early history.

Our goal is simply to appreciate our own personal saga and become fonder of ourselves in the process. As we do so, we will automatically feel more entitled to be happy and fulfilled in both our work and love lives.

That is our ultimate goal, and a worthier goal could not be had.

Where Else Do You Think You Can Look?

If your first reaction is to dismiss this idea as something you've heard about before, be aware that "knowing about" something is a far cry from understanding it or applying it.

And if you're one of the many who think you "don't need to go there," just know that you won't find your personal truth anywhere else.

Whether self-sabotage is ruining our lives or just quietly making us miserable, a start on the road to overcoming these self-defeating behaviors can be undertaken on our own.

If we should get stuck along the road, professional help through private therapists, clinics, and school or job counselors is generally available.

Once the underlying dynamics of our self-defeating behaviors are exposed and dealt with, it will be much easier to stop self-defeating behaviors in their tracks, before they have a chance to undermine us.

Once we reintegrate all of our personal power back into our lives, a whole new vista of possibilities opens up before us. This is a deeply exhilarating experience that none of us should miss.

Rosella Aranda, Editor, Author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to getting rid of self-defeating behaviors. http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/

Free mini-course!
http://www.FromThoughtsToRiches.com/
Know How to Be Rich

---

5 Tips To Keep Happy... Even In Wartime

The world is going downhill faster than an Olympic skier.... Read More

Prescience

"The knowledge of actions or events before they occur; foresight."You... Read More

Why You Want What You Cant Have

"You can't always get what you want . . ."... Read More

Banish Shallow Breathing And Boost Self Esteem!

You know, very often, the manner in which a person... Read More

Where You Want To Be

Barry was on the phone in his office, speaking with... Read More

Why Motivational Posters Arent Cheesy!

I don't want to say people are basically negative but?..if... Read More

Life Changing Attitude

Do you really believe that there is anything in this... Read More

Using The Negative in a Positive Way ? God Does It All the Time

I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as... Read More

Positive Self Talk - What Should You Say?

How do you explain things to yourself? With positive self... Read More

Self-esteem: Does It Really Matter?

Some people are full of confidence and able to meet... Read More

Living with Chronic Illness & Disorders: Are You a Survivor?

Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager...My... Read More

The Mind?s Power Fusion Component

It is widely believed that just anybody has the intrinsic... Read More

Thoughts are Things

You've probably heard this idea at one time or another.... Read More

10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody's mind.... Read More

Gratitude: the ICE that Fills Your Half Empty Glass!

Are you completely happy in your life right now? Honestly?... Read More

How Do You Habitually Treat Yourself?

In order to learn how to relieve ourselves of self-defeating... Read More

We All Send Signals

Think for a moment about all of the signals people... Read More

How To Condition Your Mind For Success

Your mindset is a strong factor in achieving any type... Read More

Feelings and Attitudes

Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does... Read More

Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?

Often, I've come across individuals who, while in conversation, will... Read More

The Courage To Succeed!

The hardest part of success is the **courage** you need... Read More

Penury Perpetuates Poverty

So...you might just believe I hide behind computers creating and... Read More

Seeing Challenges as Opportunities

Are you a person who loves challenges, or hates them?... Read More

The Inner Dialogue

Do you talk with yourself? When we hear people talking... Read More

Forget Positive Thinking

There are always explanations for why things to you or... Read More

Letter of Hope from Hospital Patient

Hospital patient undergoing surgery recounts how Hero Soul provided strength,... Read More

Important Days Ahead

Humans tend to categorize things by large or small, bright... Read More

Surrounding Yourself With Positive Energy

Our lives are busy. We rush here only to remember... Read More

Universal Thought Systems Language #3

Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More

The Power of Positive Thinking: Unlimited Possibilities

Does negative thinking pay? Is it desirable for me to... Read More

Overcoming Seductive Sadness

Unhappy moods can be like comfortable sweaters, those old ones:... Read More

Are You Thinking The Right Thoughts?

"A person is limited only by the thoughts that he... Read More

Use Affirmations to Build Self-Esteem

Most of us carry on a running internal dialogue at... Read More