Fearing the Future: I am what I Fear!

When we were children, we were fearless. We would stick our hands in the fire, chew on the beetle bugs, and eat that dirt. But, over time, we learned those things that we should not do through experience and from "parental voices" --- those baseless fears passed down through the generations. Later in life, we learned that fire burns, beetle bugs are "yucky" and dirt is not nutritious. But, we also learned all of the things that our parents learned, including their fears and phobias, and integrated those lessons into our own "belief systems."

Our belief systems are the basis of our personalities and the foundations of our directions in life --- they are the rules by which we live. In essence, our fears, desires, and values define each of us. We are what we believe --- including our fears. However, consider what your current fears are that prevent you from moving forward. Realize that these fears are of things that we were taught and those things that we learned on our own --- in the past. Fear is based on past experiences and not on those things that we have not yet encountered. With that, we only fear what we've "already experienced." The "fear of the unknown" is doubt in the future based on the circumstances that we've encountered in the past.

Since we are what we believe, we can change who we are by enhancing our belief systems. To overcome your fears, you must first determine if the fear is based on something learned through experience or taught to us by parental voices. Fears that are taught or passed down to us can be more prominent than those we learn from personal experiences because we don't know why we fear such things. We can overcome fears through rational thinking if we're able to learn why such situations occurred that caused the fear. But, if we don't know the basis, we won't look further because we fear what we "might" find.

If you don't know why you have certain fears and cannot rationalize them, they need to be eliminated. Baseless fears are unreal and create a false blockage and a reason to give up, surrender, and rest in a comfort zone. Determine which fears are baseless and replace them with practical experiences. Realistic fears based on actual experiences can be rationalized and resolved. These resolutions can then be integrated into our lives to learn lessons and move forward in life.

Once we are able to define and diffuse our core fears, we can then rely on the fear of returning to our prior state or not succeeding in our life to drive us forward. You can then devise a plan of action to reach your Vision and focus on desires of success and fulfillment instead of hiding in the dark from the empty fears of our "parental voices."

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics!

For more information, e-mail Edward at etoupin@toupin.com or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com or http://www.toupin.com!

Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Self-Opinions---Can Limit Our Lives

Dr. Phil says each of us has a personal "truth"... Read More

Positive Thinking on Negativity

The other day I bought an unusual piece of software:... Read More

All My Needs, Desires, and Goals are Met -- INSTANTANEOUSLY

I get emails and questions from people all the time... Read More

Positive Changes Achieved by Exercising Mind, Body & Spirit

My story explains the struggles I had as a 23-year-old... Read More

Focus Your Attention

Lately, there has been a collective challenge to avoid being... Read More

Positive Affirmations

Never used 'em. Not likely to start now.OK, so I... Read More

The TRUTH About What REALLY Causes Negative Thoughts

Do you feel that your negative thoughts are holding you... Read More

How Our Thoughts Create Mental Bugs

Our thoughts define who we are. They can make us... Read More

Absence Makes The Fear Go Yonder!

Emotions are controlled by a combination of reason and action.... Read More

How to Cope With Your Inner Food Critic

Every day that I eat EnergyRich? Food, I get almost... Read More

Aging

Aging is a matter of the mind.The years may creep... Read More

Transform Your Behavior Painlessly by Using the 5-Minute Success Strategy

Recently, I coached a young woman whom I'll call Mary... Read More

Where Do You Get A Positive Attitude You Asked?

How are you? Where do you get a positive attitude... Read More

Important Days Ahead

Humans tend to categorize things by large or small, bright... Read More

Envisioning Your Ideal Self

In my work as a professional coach, I've had the... Read More

Are Your ANTs Taking Over Your Life?

One of the first things that I work on with... Read More

When Things Go Wrong As They Sometimes Will... Dont Get Your Knickers In A Twist!

In frustration it's easy to jump to false conclusions that... Read More

Halt All Complaining

Have you ever thought about you have a lot to... Read More

Letter of Hope from Hospital Patient

Hospital patient undergoing surgery recounts how Hero Soul provided strength,... Read More

Learning To Embrace Change

The only constant is change. If theres one thing we... Read More

How to Experience Life as a Thrilling Adventure

"Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side... Read More

Life Can Seem Unfair Until We Change Our Perspective! See How!

Empty, Hollow, Nothing?.those words shout the sound of disappointment and... Read More

Find Your Inner Strength to Tackle Any Challenge

Everyone faces challenges during their life, from suffering the death... Read More

Clenching?

What are you holding onto? Wanta quit?There are many things... Read More

Five Ways to Stay Positive in a Negative World

In view of the increasing negative events happening around the... Read More

Then My Boss Said, Take That Fear And Shove It!

Hey gang; Ok it's time to create some good habits.... Read More

The Map Is Not the Territory

Just in an average day we can experience many things... Read More

Whats My Life All About?

What's my life all about is the question so many... Read More

Accepting Change

Well I've finally done it...I turned my heat on. After... Read More

Improve Your Relationships Instantly

Discover how easy it is to improve your relationships. The... Read More

5 Proven Ways to Safely Make Positive Life Changes

One of the most important aspects of living a healthy... Read More

You Are A Winner!

You are already a winner, and so am I.Although you... Read More

Never Run Out of Altitude, Airspeed, and Ideas at the Same Time: Lessons From the Vietnam POWs

Bosses can't control many things at work. In fact, they... Read More