How Attitude is Everything

"Most overnight successes are just plain lucky. Just ask any failure."

"If the only tool you have is a hammer, all problems begin to look like nails."

Here's a sure-fire prescription for how to fail in the game of life:

Develop an attitude, personality and spirit that are critical, complaining, cynical and comparative.

Demonstrate these characteristics on a regular basis, and I can just about guarantee you failure in life.

How to Be Critical

You've heard it said that some people see the world through rose-colored glasses. The person who has mastered the fine art of criticism sees the world through glasses colored by something I'd rather not mention.

These folks seem to live to find fault in everything with which they come in contact. Because we live in an imperfect world, something or someone can always be criticized.

In order to be truly successful at criticizing, these people must never offer solutions for what they don't like. This is because these folks believe people and things will be motivated to change if they are just criticized enough. It's a full-time job.

Instead: There are times in life when we all need to give and receive criticism. The wisest people know that you can truly benefit from useful criticism.

Criticism is a tool that is used sparingly at best and needs to be coupled with some positive comments as well.

How to Be Complaining

A close cousin to criticism, complaining is a way of life for some. Others have raised it to an art form. Nothing is ever good enough, not even close. If the adults who usually do this were children, they'd be accused of whining.

Again, it's crucial to refrain from offering any suggestions as to what could be improved upon, much less what is appreciated. These folks would complain in heaven, if they ever got there.

Instead: Define the problem, state how it affects you and then offer suggestions for what you would like to be different.

How to Be Cynical

We live in an age where cynicism is thought to be sophisticated. At the same time, remember when smoking was thought to be sophisticated?

In order to be truly cynical, you have to be totally convinced that the world, the people in it, and even yourself are only out for themselves and can never be trusted. Cynicism in its purest form totally rules out the possibility of hope, solutions and joy in life. David Letterman without the humor.

Instead: In no way am I suggesting that we should all approach the world like naive children. Any negative taken to the opposite extreme is still a negative. Instead, keeping a healthy skepticism about you protects you and allows for the possibility of hope, solutions and true passion in life.

How to Be Comparitive

Anyone who has ever been compared to a sibling, teammate or co-worker knows just how fun it is to be around this kind of person. "If only you were more like ... "

Other good comparative things to say are: "This time is not as fun as last time," and "the way you do it here is not nearly as good as we did it back there."

Remember to say these and all comparative statements with a certain air of superiority, nose slightly turned upward for full effect.

Instead: Start with what is working or is good about the situation, and then ask the powerful and rarely asked question:

"How could we make this even better?"

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Garbage Words In - Garbage Thinking Out

"At birth, a baby's brain contains 100 billion neurons, roughly... Read More

How Our Thoughts Create Mental Bugs

Our thoughts define who we are. They can make us... Read More

Whats My Life All About?

What's my life all about is the question so many... Read More

Welcoming the Unexpected

As I walked my dogs recently on what "should" have... Read More

Banish Shallow Breathing And Boost Self Esteem!

You know, very often, the manner in which a person... Read More

Releasing Self Sabotage for Success and Happiness in Life

Today, I wanted to mention this notion of self-sabotage.I recently... Read More

Instant Frequency Boosters: 10 Fast and Simple Ways to Raise Your Vibration

When you're feeling "low," or out of the flow, it's... Read More

How to Get Rid of Frustration and Self-Pity

I've yet to meet the person who never struggles with... Read More

Internet Tip of the Week: The Power of Positive Thinking

The late Norman Vincent Peale was a controversial preacher who... Read More

Prisoner of Attitude

"Thinking is responsible for man's primacy on earth today. Existence... Read More

The Rat Race and Smiling Over Spilt Coffee

As if choreographed and rehearsed the night before, one lays... Read More

Oh for a Really Good Day!

What's wrong with me? When I'm sick I get grumpy... Read More

Building Unshakeable Self Confidence!

One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable... Read More

How Attitude is Everything

"Most overnight successes are just plain lucky. Just ask any... Read More

Halt All Complaining

Have you ever thought about you have a lot to... Read More

Prescience

"The knowledge of actions or events before they occur; foresight."You... Read More

Balanced Living: 18 Steps

A balanced life not only leaves you feeling more fulfilled;... Read More

What Every Employee Should Know About How to Maximize His Potential for Success

There are countless books that describe success principles. Here are... Read More

Learning From Life

Do you ever find yourself thinking, "Life has taught me... Read More

How Gratitude Can Be Your Partner in Life

Gratitude is one of the most important things you can... Read More

Powerful Insights

? If it takes me to periphery (Drifted into continuous... Read More

Anger And Your Health

HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGERJane... Read More

The Power of a Positive Attitude

You wake up in the morning sleepy and fatigued; the... Read More

First Aid For The Soul

A Model of the dysfunctional, unconscious human psyche. A way... Read More

Being Tender With the Ugly Parts of Yourself

Does that title make you cringe? It made me cringe... Read More

Get Some Attitude!

You've been looking for a job for as long as... Read More

Stop Complaining

You don't need to a piece of paper to prove... Read More

Reacting To Given Situations!

The milkman knocks at the door of the old lady's... Read More

Why You Must Learn to Forgive for the Sake of Your Own Happiness

Your ability to forgive those who have hurt you in... Read More

Positive Thinking - Anxiety & Panic

If you suffer with or have in the past suffered... Read More

I Know I Can, I Know I Can

I'm sure most of you remember the children's book about... Read More

The Art of Thankfulness

With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate... Read More

Are You Inviting Misery into Your Life?

Often, I've come across individuals who, while in conversation, will... Read More