The Enchanted Self - Thats Each of Us!

In my years as a psychologist, I have come to believe that most people seeking psychotherapy are unhappy. This is not only due to earlier hurts and traumas, as well as present frustrations and problems, but because they cannot access earlier happy moments often enough. The unfortunate result is not being able to experience enough positive states of well-being. It is these unique states of well being that I have come to label THE ENCHANTED SELF.

Many scientists of human behavior recognize that we do not yet, and perhaps never can, fully understand human nature. I have become more and more convinced that we do not. What interests me, is that we do not fully understand some people, who have apparently fortunate lives but experience little joy, while others, apparently less fortunate, experience great joy. Perhaps we have tried too hard to understand pathology in our science of psychology, and have not tried hard enough to recognize and understand what I call ego-states, or happiness.

When I first began to analyze the data from the women I interviewed, I kept trying to understand how their enchanted adult lives evolved from the childhoods they talked about. I found that although there seemed to be some clear connections, many others were not clear at all.

The capacities of these women to reclaim positive aspects of their childhood, while discarding the dysfunction that was often also present, was astounding to me. It seemed as if a magic wand had been tapped on the women's heads in their adult lives.

For example, when Edith talked about her childhood, she at first remembered only its dysfunctional aspects: the fighting between her parents and their constant criticality. I suggested that we go back and look again at her childhood to identify times when, in spite of the pain of family life, she felt excited about her own life and about herself. With this encouragement, she could separate out positive memories of herself from dysfunctional family experiences. She started remembering some wonderful times: delightful family picnics, fishing with her grandfather, and more.

An activity you can do to start on the positive road of Enchantment:

What are some golden moments in your childhood when you felt particularly happy? These moments can be from any age, from your earliest memories through early adulthood. When you find a golden memory, enjoy it. See yourself at that age and experiment with letting different senses reconnect to that happy time. Can you remember the way your body felt? Can you remember what activity you were engaged in? Were there any aromas? What was the weather like? How did things look around you? What did your

mood feel like? Take time to really enjoy this happy memory of yourself.

I wish you a joyful journey. I hope that your life feels whole and that you find your past, whether beautiful or painful, a repertoire of talents and capabilities is that are uniquely yours. I hope that your talents, capacities and potential will give you a sense of well being as they thrust you into the world in meaningful ways.

About The Author

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at her website.

enchantedself@verizon.net

In The News:

pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Overcoming Bad Moods

From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people... Read More

Releasing Self Sabotage for Success and Happiness in Life

Today, I wanted to mention this notion of self-sabotage.I recently... Read More

Improve Your Relationships Instantly

Discover how easy it is to improve your relationships. The... Read More

Just Another Day

During a Messenger chat session the other day, I asked... Read More

Strength Within

For the twelve hundred hostages, most especially Timur Kasumova.It's a... Read More

Who Controls Your Mind?

Few people are aware of the thoughts that pass through... Read More

How Do You Habitually Treat Yourself?

In order to learn how to relieve ourselves of self-defeating... Read More

Enlarge Your Vision

Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More

Business Career, Executive Coaching - The Top 10 Tips to Begin the Practice of Positive Affirmations

Positive Affirmations are things we say to ourselves that build... Read More

You may be Shocked to Hear This

What I mean of course is, to appreciate life through... Read More

Stinking Thinking Makes Hope A Dope

Many centuries ago there was a Greek philosopher who lived... Read More

Attitude Adjustment 101: Nine Ways to Transform You From Mediocre to Magnificent

"Work on your career and you'll make a living. Work... Read More

Self-esteem: Who Do You Think You Are?

Are you the kind of person who dwells on your... Read More

How To Talk Your Way To Success

Smart folk have always realised how vital it is to... Read More

Believe It Or Not

I am often astounded at what and why people believe... Read More

You May Not Be Able to Manage Change - But You Can Manage Your Response to It

Your response (reaction?) to change is conditioned by your entire... Read More

Anamchara - Beyond Positive Thinking

One of the most well known books ever written on... Read More

My Sunshine

"You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine You Make Me... Read More

Power of Positive Beliefs

I am an educator as well as a coach and... Read More

C-R-I-T-I-C-I-S-M

Yuk!One thing, I really have a problem with is criticism.... Read More

A Solution For Trouble? Try This Breath Of Fresh Air!

I just heard the story of a man who hired... Read More

10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody's mind.... Read More

Get Out of Your Way!

We hear a lot these days about accepting responsibility for... Read More

The Illusion of Failure

The most dangerous thing is illusion. ~ Ralph Waldo EmersonFailure... Read More

Accepting Change

Well I've finally done it...I turned my heat on. After... Read More

Stepping Into Possibility Thinking

Our thoughts really belong to the collective consciousness of the... Read More

Get the Confidence to Be Your Best

A confidence crisis is looming with a recent study showing... Read More

Create Your Own Confidence Bank Account

This is a technique that sounds a bit silly when... Read More

Feeling Grouchy? Heres What to Do

I woke up this morning feeling sour.No. That's an understatement.... Read More

Becoming Excellent: Outsmarting Racism

Thinkers know better than to be racist. It's generally understood... Read More

Absence Makes The Fear Go Yonder!

Emotions are controlled by a combination of reason and action.... Read More

Thinking Like A Winner

Since the beginning of human history we have been living... Read More

Beliefs

Do you realize that what we believe about ourselves, affects... Read More