A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a strange thought occurred. You see, my eldest son helped me install a new kitchen. He was the expert handyman. Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go for this?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ."
And you know, it took me back to my childhood. I used to stand by MY dad's side, helping him mend this and build that. What a pride I took in those days, holding a plank of wood at one end while he measured it, or going into his toolbox to fetch a bigger screwdriver. The master and the apprentice!
Yet despite all my admiration, I never quite mastered the secrets of DIY. In my own house, I muddle through jobs as best I can, or just leave them undone. Occasionally I'll send for a tradesman.
Yet somehow I raised a son who, like his Grandad, can turn his hand to anything - while I STILL stand and watch!
This particular creative talent managed to skip a generation, only to re-emerge with a flourish in my boy.
There lies the crux of this article.
We each discover our own talents, leanings, and strong points. As a teacher I hear so many kids complain about their parents, who - with the best will in the world! - force their kids into curriculum choices or career paths which say more about the parents and their aspirations.
Why do so many of us insist on directing, or even dictating, career choices for our kids?
Many possible reasons spring to mind:
Talk about a recipe for disaster!
Trying to live our own lives through our kids tends to fill them with resentment. Go along this path and we'll soon encounter a breakdown in relationships, and our kids will seethe with unhappiness and a lack of fulfilment.
Sometimes our children may even go along with our wishes because they want to please. They feel grateful for all we've done and don't want to disappoint us. The outcome here can be even more insidious: if a child or young person lacks one hundred per cent commitment to the path we choose for them, it can manifest itself in low achievement, depression and even physical illness.
What a waste of everyone's time, energy, talents and resources!
On the other hand, we do want to guide them, don't we? We instinctively know we should give them the benefit of our experience.
So how do we go about it?
The key lies in ENCOURAGEMENT.
From the earliest possible age, encourage your child to be confident, positive, and optimistic.
And observe them in all they do. Cherish their uniqueness, and enjoy seeing their individual talents unfold.
Avoid forcing any issues; concentrate on encouraging growth and development, even if - especially if! - their talents take them along a road unfamiliar to you. Often, what a parent least expects develops into a major plus in their child.
Strive for open and unbiased expectations. If ballet dancing interests your child, encourage him or her to research that activity, try it out, and make a confident, realistic appraisal - don't try to force them into medicine or the law instead!
In high school some teachers encourage kids to make their curriculum choices to suit future career aspirations. But this stresses many unsure kids. My advice has borne fruit over the years: "Choose what you're best at and what you enjoy most. The rest will take care of itself!" And it does.
Again, encourage confidence and optimism. Because today and in the future, most of our kids will not enjoy the luxury previous generations enjoyed - a job for life. Our kids need adaptability in order to face change willingly and without fear.
By encouraging them to follow their hearts, we can do much to help them. Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.ht
ml AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
a>
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way... Read More
Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More
Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know... Read More
It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
Backpack? Check. Notebooks? Check. Ink-pens? Check. Clear Skin? Mommmm!If you... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
As the new school year begins, parents play a pivotal... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More
The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More
The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
Prioritize. Learn to say No. Steal some time for yourself.Don't... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier,... Read More
1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More
This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist,... Read More
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More
Children do what feels good to them and follow their... Read More
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
Younger generations unfortunately will not understand how larger than life... Read More
The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More
As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
Moving house can be an emotional experience for adults, so... Read More
Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
I look out of the window as I am writing... Read More
Parenting |