How often do you think of family life as an adventure or delightful experience? If you and your children are having a good day, then you might buy into this idea. However, many of you are probably laughing hysterically now. What is delightful about the children fighting for the umpteenth time today? Sometimes I bet your family life feels like a jungle with screeching and swinging monkeys.
It can be all too easy to get caught up in trying to control what is happening in the home instead of enjoying what is. God blessed us with beautiful children and we are most in touch with that precious love when the house is quiet and we watch them peacefully sleeping. So how can we connect to that love and enjoyment in the midst of family life?
Spend Quality Time with your Children
Spending quality time with children requires your full and undivided attention. Oftentimes moms are so busy trying to manage everything that we have one ear to the children and our mind on a million other things. Our children talk to us and we say "uh huh" without really hearing them. We take them to their games, lessons, etc. but how much do we really interact with them? To be delighted by your children, you need to be fully connected to them. You need to listen and marvel at how truly wonderful they are. Participate in activities they love. Relish their laughter and their unique personalities. It won't be long before your children are grown and gone from the house.
Understand Each Developmental Stage
To really enjoy your children, you need to understand who they are and what they are going through. The journey of a child to adulthood is filled with a multitude of changes. It is helpful to get inside your child's shoes by learning about the various stages of development. For instance, the other day I stripped my 3-1/2 year to get him ready for his bath. I said, "Come on, it's time for your bath." He looked at me with the meanest face he could muster and said, "NO!" It is much easier to deal with the defiance if you know that a 3 year olds' mission is to exert his independence. Here's this little guy wanting to grow up and be independent, but he knows deep down, he is still dependent on mom, and he doesn't like that. So I picked him up and held him in front of the mirror. He exercised his most defiant no over and over until he started laughing. Each stage of life, from infant to young adult, brings new behaviors and new growth. Educate yourself so you know what to expect from your child. Sometimes just understanding that your child is "normal" will help you relax as a mother.
Don't Be Afraid to Discipline
No one likes being around an unruly child. Children with a lack of discipline make motherhood stressful and less than pleasurable. Our job as mothers is to raise respectful, productive and loving adults. In order to do this, we need to teach our children boundaries. They need to know what acceptable and unacceptable behavior is. You have to set limits and avoid setting up a child-centered family. Children need to understand they are a part of a family and each individual has their own needs. Help them work together with other family members to create a peaceful and loving environment. An effective and disciplined family unit is truly a wonderful adventure.
Be Intentional about Motherhood
What would make motherhood more enjoyable for you? Take the time to reflect on what needs to change in your family to increase the level of enjoyment for you. Be intentional about those changes. Maybe you want to make time to take care of yourself as a mother. Perhaps you long to be a more consistent parent. This month I am focusing on encouraging independence in my family. My motto is "everyone will do what they are capable of doing for themselves." Not only does this teach my children valuable skills, it frees me from unnecessary responsibility and gives me more time to be with my family. Setting intentions help you create a life you love.
Keep a Positive Reflection Journal
How do you want to see your children and your family life? Do you want to see motherhood as challenging or delightful? If you focus on the undesirable aspects of your family, then that is the experience you will create. If however, you can concentrate on the positive qualities of your children and your journey, you will create a rewarding family life. At the end of every day, take the time to record in a journal all the positive things your children said or did that day. Reflect on all the fun you had that day. Notice the wonderful qualities of each person in your family. And on your bad days when you find yourself wondering why on earth you ever decided to have children, pull out your journal and remind yourself what a truly amazing journey you are on.
Lori Radun, certified life coach for moms. Get her FREE monthly ezine for moms who want encouragement and coaching on living peaceful, balanced and fulfilling lives at http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com
© 2005 True to You Life Coaching, LLC
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More
Life is full of competition -- even in childhood. Kids... Read More
What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
According to researchers, most children enter school with a good... Read More
Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision... Read More
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More
Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
Travel is a common theme in my life -- probably... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household,... Read More
One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More
I never dreamed that I would be in a position... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More
How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last... Read More
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
Sometimes dreams really can come true! May 8th - 11th,... Read More
It's been said, time and again, that for a child... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kidâ??s... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More
Before going further into choosing computers for children, I believe... Read More
Past experience with federal education programs predicts that the No... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
If you really want to get your children to eat... Read More
It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More
Parenting |