The question I have for you drives right to the heart of the matter. It could alter that tired, haggard feeling you have at the end of a day or weekend. It could alter the life of your children for the better and the life of their future partner. More than that, it could even alter your community, because once I've told you the question and you've seen how powerful it is you'll want to share it with your brother, sister, neighbours and friends.
Before I ask you my question I want to set the scene. You're a loving parent striving to give your children the best life you can offer. You race around the household picking up their dirty underwear from under the bed, collecting the towels from the bathroom floor and spend whatever time it takes to knock up their favourite food while one of your children spends fifty percent of their free time surfing the net and talking in chat rooms and the other catches up on thirty hours of TV a week. Meantime, you?
Well, sometimes you might feel tired. Sometimes deflated. Sometimes unappreciated and perhaps just a tad grumpy! If you relate to any of what I describe then my question will change it all for you and I recommend you read on.
For women, age-old family values still play a big part. Values passed on ? mother-to-mother ? combine with the natural instincts to love, support and nurture. And despite doing a day job you probably still arrive home and strive to take care of your family in the way your mother took care of you. But are your mother's old values working for you and, just as importantly, are they working for your children?
So, here is the question?
What kind of children do you want to raise?
Do we want to raise well-rounded, confident, considerate children that show gratitude and appreciation for all that is given to them and just a fraction of what you do for them? Do you want strong, loving children, who understand and accept responsibility for their 'self' and the ones they love. If you do then I have a second question for you?
Will the current behaviour in your household make that happen?
Will chatting to strangers on the internet during a large part of her free time help your daughter become a confident, considerate woman? Will Homer Simpson help your son to respect his 'self' and the ones he loves? And will you picking up their sweaty, crumpled, underwear help them to become responsible for their own lives?
I recently overheard a woman talking about her 12 year-old son. She confessed to laying out his clothes each morning, packing his school bag with books and food and then she said, "Because if I don't, he'll forget." This shocked me and here is why?
My own children, since the age of five have done all the things that a lot of mother's still do. Why? Because I am their parent ? their guide and leader, not their nanny ? and as such I have a responsibility to first nurture, then educate, then, as soon as they are ready, hand over responsibility for their wellbeing to them. Children who take part in their own life ? pick up their dirty linen, contribute to dinner and tidying their home ? go on to become confident, well-rounded, respectful kids; and children who don't? well they're the ones you might moan about to your friends when you witness them disrespecting both other human beings and the environment.
Begin by directing your children to take on small tasks. Ask them to put their clothes in a washing basket or hang a towel up. Ask them to bring their plates to the sink and wash them after dinner and tell them they are helping you and that you really appreciate their help. Give them a hug for their help and they might do even more! As they get better increase the tasks. Ask them to cut the grass for you, iron the clothes or cook dinner. And if you think that is too much responsibility then think about this?
A Maasai tribe leader appointed a seven year-old girl as the person in charge of two-thirds of his village's wealth. The wealth was not held in money, but in three camels. The girl was responsible for ensuring that these camels stayed safe and well fed and she knew if she failed to do this properly then the villagers may end up starving. Maybe we could trust our children with a vacuum or a mop or a duster once or twice a week!
Help your children to find purpose in life. Find more time for your 'self' so you can to define your own purpose more strongly.
About The Author
Neil Millar is the novelist behind the potent SAS adventure Black Water, personal development writer and author of Simple Steps to Greater Happiness and Be the Hero in your Own Life. Neil's words inspire people to find greater reward in their work and more fun in their personal relationships and life. Subscribe to the Ezine he writes for Unstoppable Life? FREE!
Join Neil's readership at Unstoppable Life and get a FREE copy of his e-book, Steps to Greater Happiness. It's FREE. Sign up at www.UnstoppableLife.com
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
Summer Survival The... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a... Read More
Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More
'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the... Read More
Little Suzy has really been having a hard time getting... Read More
Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More
Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
I had my first two children on either side of... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
Prioritize. Learn to say No. Steal some time for yourself.Don't... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
Parenting |