Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!
Are you often a participant in an unraveling parent-child interaction? Well you're not alone. Interactions between parents and their children often transgress before our eyes.
All children's first years should be filled with verbal stimulation to build language and literacy skills. Each day should be full of discovery and offer opportunities to gain new skills and learn new concepts. Talking to your children openly and honestly and encouraging verbal interaction is a critical component of healthy and successful development. Sometimes, though, a parent-child interaction spins quickly out of control and leaves the parent wondering "What happened? I thought I had this under control?"
All too often the origin of the conflict is established by the use of one simple word: "Maybe." This one uncomplicated morsel of verbiage has the power to evoke quite a forceful reaction at times. "Why?" you may question. The answer is as absolute as your response should be to your child: You just don't use the "maybe" word.
Raising a child is probably the most gratifying job any of us will ever have -- and one of the toughest. We live in an increasingly complex world that challenges us every day with a wide range of issues that are difficult for children to understand and for adults to explain. The issues are biggies: terrorism, war, AIDs, sex, death, and a host of other sensitive topics that just didn't exist when we were growing up.
It's not always easy to talk to your kids-but it's always important. Consider this: if we don't talk with them -- and answer their questions -- they'll get their facts from someone else. And we'll have missed an important parenting opportunity.
When responding to questions posed by your child, whether it's a question about the tough issues or a question about attending a sleep over or eating a cookie before dinner, clarity is the name of the game. If a child asks a question, the very least we can do is answer it, and answer it precisely. The amount of uncertainty produced by "maybe" is very often the catalyst for the conflict.
Here are some essentials to assist you in becoming more accomplished in talking to your child:
- Always respond to your child
- Strive to understand your own feelings regarding their request or question
- Reply with a definite yes or no
- Clarify your reasoning
- Offer them the methods and/or means to achieve their request
- Be conscious of their reaction(s), anxiety usually precedes the outburst
Remember: We all, young and not so young alike, find relief in knowing where we stand.
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.
Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
For parents, keeping our kids safe is a constant top... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More
In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
People always ask my wife and I: "How did you... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
Every week I write something about the stock market -... Read More
Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
Here's a scene: A parent "might suddenly grab a happliy... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
Every children in the world whishes to have toys and... Read More
If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More
Home-schooling removes children from public school. That alone makes home-schooling... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
Summer Survival The... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More
Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More
When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More
Travel is a common theme in my life -- probably... Read More
Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
Parenting |