?Mommy, I Can?t Sleep!?: Sleep Disturbance in Children

Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!

Are you often a participant in an unraveling parent-child interaction? Well you're not alone. Interactions between parents and their children often transgress before our eyes.

All children's first years should be filled with verbal stimulation to build language and literacy skills. Each day should be full of discovery and offer opportunities to gain new skills and learn new concepts. Talking to your children openly and honestly and encouraging verbal interaction is a critical component of healthy and successful development. Sometimes, though, a parent-child interaction spins quickly out of control and leaves the parent wondering "What happened? I thought I had this under control?"

All too often the origin of the conflict is established by the use of one simple word: "Maybe." This one uncomplicated morsel of verbiage has the power to evoke quite a forceful reaction at times. "Why?" you may question. The answer is as absolute as your response should be to your child: You just don't use the "maybe" word.

Raising a child is probably the most gratifying job any of us will ever have -- and one of the toughest. We live in an increasingly complex world that challenges us every day with a wide range of issues that are difficult for children to understand and for adults to explain. The issues are biggies: terrorism, war, AIDs, sex, death, and a host of other sensitive topics that just didn't exist when we were growing up.

It's not always easy to talk to your kids-but it's always important. Consider this: if we don't talk with them -- and answer their questions -- they'll get their facts from someone else. And we'll have missed an important parenting opportunity.

When responding to questions posed by your child, whether it's a question about the tough issues or a question about attending a sleep over or eating a cookie before dinner, clarity is the name of the game. If a child asks a question, the very least we can do is answer it, and answer it precisely. The amount of uncertainty produced by "maybe" is very often the catalyst for the conflict.

Here are some essentials to assist you in becoming more accomplished in talking to your child:

- Always respond to your child

- Strive to understand your own feelings regarding their request or question

- Reply with a definite yes or no

- Clarify your reasoning

- Offer them the methods and/or means to achieve their request

- Be conscious of their reaction(s), anxiety usually precedes the outburst

Remember: We all, young and not so young alike, find relief in knowing where we stand.

Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.

Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Raising a Self-Sufficient Teen

Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More

The Free Ride In Public Schools

To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More

Give Your Child Life Skills for a Lifetime

Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More

Parenting Secrets Revealed

So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More

Top 5 Characteristics of Good Leadership to Instill in Our Home School Children

I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More

Teaching Your Child Safety

Q. What is the best way to teach safety awareness... Read More

Fun Things to Do with Your Kids this Summer

10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More

Strategies to Help Boost Your Childs Self Esteem

Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More

Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences

If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More

How A Home Water Filter Can Reduce Your Child?s Risk Of Learning Disabilities

Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More

5 Solid Reasons: Why Your Child Can Be An Achiever

All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More

The Most Innovative New Approach for ADHD, a Natural Remedy

What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More

Safe From Strangers

There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Self-Decorating or Self-Harm - How to Tell the Difference

Q. I need your help with a question about my... Read More

How To Homeschool Without Making Your Child An Outcast

If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More

Go Ahead - Make Dads Day

Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More

Raising Strong Daughters

When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More

THE NEW SCHOOL VISIT: 5 Things to Look For

Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More

School Days - Top 10 Tips for Establishing a Good Routine

Teachers know that children thrive in an environment with routines,... Read More

Think Like Your Kids - And Understand Them More!

Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a... Read More

Lets Not Hurry Children Through Childhood

Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More

How Being a Mom Makes You a Better Professional

"Becoming a parent can make you a better worker," New... Read More

A Legacy For Dakota

Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More

A Dangerous Environment

The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More

Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a... Read More

Build Character Now! Practical Tools for Busy Parents

"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More

Crazy Colors Fun Kid Experiment as a Party Activity

Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More

A Place For Everything: Its Childs Play

What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More

Creating a Memorable Travel Journal Using A Stuffed Animal

You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by... Read More

Twins - Double The Trouble Or Double The Pleasure? Both!

If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More

Books Around the House Make A Difference in Literacy Rates

We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More

Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Blackmail

Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More

Nanny 911 and Disciplining Your Child

Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More