Teachers Pet

Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 20, 2003

I am 32 and a mom with two children. I've pretty much been single for two years. My problem is I found myself falling for my son's teacher. I never saw a ring on his finger, so last school year I made every attempt to visit my son's school as often as I could.

Eventually I took the chicken's way out and e-mailed this man and told him how I felt. He replied that he was flattered, we can remain friends, and he is my child's teacher. I e-mailed back saying I didn't know what I was doing and was not sure how uncomfortable things would be. He said it would be fine, no feelings hurt.

Once again he is teaching my child, and I still feel the same way. He is such a great man, so dedicated to the kids in his class. He is the man I want to get to know better. I have only seen him once this school year, but we often talk on the phone, though always about my son.

We get along so well and laugh like it is natural. Whether he is just being nice, I don't know. After this year he will no longer be my child's teacher. Is there any way for me to find out if he'd like to continue talking? I'm hoping for more. I've been hurt in the past, but with him it just feels so different, so right.

Anya

Anya, if you expect to have the right to say no and you want that listened to and respected, then you have to know he has the same right. He said no. When you get a no, you move on.

If your lottery ticket is one number off, it doesn't matter. As much as you would like it to be a winner, the numbers don't match and you don't have the winning ticket. There is no sense dwelling on it. Badgering him will make it less likely he will want to talk with you at all.

There is one great positive in this. You have come in contact with a good man with the characteristics you've been looking for. He has given you a model for what you want. You want a man who makes you feel like this one.

This teacher is teaching you a lesson. He has been patient with you. Show him that you have learned. As Thomas Carruthers said, "A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary."

Wayne & Tamara

Building Amenities

To begin with, I'm 60 years of age. My male friend is younger, but we knew each other from our school days. It's one of those things. We always liked each other's style and wanted to get next to each other. Sex is wonderful, but he has another woman he has relations with, and we all live in the same building.

I tried to stop our little fling, but he was sad and I was sad so we're back together. However, I can't deal with the other woman. I don't want to be by myself. I want a man, and of course he is the one I want. Am I being foolish or what?

Jorie

Jorie, you want him to stop seeing the other woman, but she may want you to do the same. You are playing a waiting game trying to outlast each other.

You can't accept that you have an unfaithful male, but you can't battle every woman willing to have sex with him. The one person you can affect is him. You can do that by withdrawing your affections.

If he really likes your style and wants to be next to you, he can make that choice. If he doesn't, you will stop wasting time on the wrong man for you. You have the power to cut his sex life in half.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

---

A Word Fitly Spoken ~ Believe

A Word Fitly SpokenA word fitly spoken is like apples... Read More

Magical Wreaths

Wreaths are like rings. They represent the Universal Circle ("Let... Read More

Change Begins With Choice

Any day we wish we can discipline ourselves to change... Read More

Clearing Your Inner Landscape: Freeing Yourself From Emotional Deadwood

Do you suffer from emotional clutter? Is suffering even the... Read More

Where Do You Go For Your Intellectual Feast?

(excerpted from Leading an Inspired Life)Pity the man who has... Read More

Discovering The Art of Bending Your Mindset And Manifesting Your Multiple Intelligences

Discovering the Art of Bending Your Mindset and Manifesting your... Read More

Full Disclosure

Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 21,... Read More

A Time To Awake

What has become of your fondest dreams?If you were guaranteed... Read More

Self Help When Youre In Debt

It's no fun being in debt.Money shortages are always stressful... Read More

Long Odds

Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 31,... Read More

Charge Your Imagination (3)

As we progress into the year, it is necessary for... Read More

Don?t Give Up!

Don't let anyone kid you. The road to self improvement... Read More

Dream Board

DREAM IT, CREATE IT, BECOME ITIf you've been reading my... Read More

You Reap What You Sow

There is an old principle: You reap what you sow.... Read More

The Two Choices We Face

Each of us has two distinct choices to make about... Read More

Spiritual Evolution: A Journey of Truth

BORN OF BODY AND SPIRITWe are born of the body... Read More

Do You Have a Vision?

You must absolutely have a vision, or a dream, for... Read More

Material Girl

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 16,... Read More

Five Reasons To Journal

Keeping a journal during the coaching process is one of... Read More

Making the Most of Your Peak and Off-peak Times

What is the most essential part of your business? You... Read More

Walking on a Path of Life

We set out walking along a route where one foot... Read More

Wanna Trade Places?

Even immediately after my car accident, every single person who... Read More

Relax. Its Just Your Life

What am I supposed to do with my life? Shouldn't... Read More

Motivation and Inspiration: Illusions 101

Q: I was wondering if you could recommend any books... Read More

How To Develop A Grateful Mind (The Best Medicine)

There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More

How I Get Joy as a Value

*In the last couple of months, I have been fortunate... Read More

Everyday is a Gift, Open and Enjoy It

There is a bottle of perfume sitting on my dresser... Read More

Supercharge Your Dreams!

We all accept the fact that the lighter the backpack,... Read More

Unconditional Love is Absolute Freedom to Screw Up Your Life

In my lifetime, I have never witnessed enduring unconditional love... Read More

How to Put the Sizzle Back in Your Relationship with These Seven Goal Setting Tools

Goal Setting and Relationships?That is not as weird as it... Read More

For Inspiration Watch a Kite Fly Against the Wind

Given a steady wind and a properly balanced kite, the... Read More

My Mothers Garden

I love to talk about Purposeful Living with others and... Read More

The Dead

Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 9,... Read More