Irresistible

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 29, 2003

I'm attracted to my manager. He was the one who showed his interest to me first by complimenting me and making wonderful eye contact. He is single and one year younger than me.

Until today he only asked me out one time and that was when a close friend of ours also attended the dinner and we had so much fun. Indeed I never gave him enough opportunity to approach closer because I was not sure if this was wise in terms of office ethics.

He has a good reputation in my company for his character, virtues, and moral values. For the past five months we have been working side by side on the same project. Sometimes we have a chance to talk friendly about our private lives, and once he told me he misses relationship opportunities since he hates to see himself chasing after women.

From what he told me I figured out he will never ask me for a private date because he is afraid it might be considered trying to seduce a woman working under his management. So today, after struggling by myself for many months, I offered to have a drink with him some night this week, and he accepted with great joy. Do you think I am doing something right?

Anjuli

Anjuli, work is a less artificial situation than dating, and it is hard to conceal who you really are in your daily work. Many happily married people met at work. There are, however, several things to keep in mind.

Dating someone at work also involves your livelihood, so you must respect this element. Keep your personal relationship out of the workplace. At work, focus on the job you are paid to do. Although you may want to share the joy of your new relationship with your coworkers, it is a joy they may not share. Would they be happy that you have a special relationship with your manager, and they do not?

Some will suspect your special connection with him will mean favorable treatment for you at their expense; others will suspect you of shirking your job responsibilities. In addition, what you might innocently say to one person may, after being repeated, turn into something else.

From the outset you need to realize if either of you does not wish to continue the relationship, then you will both be in the uncomfortable position of working side by side with someone you were once romantically involved with.

The outer attraction between you was too great for you to resist asking, and for him to resist accepting. You can minimize the risk by doing your job well, and if this turns out to be more than a job for you, we will be very happy for you.

Wayne & Tamara

Life Without Dessert

I'm entering a relationship with a great girl. She's sweet, she's beautiful, and we have the same interests. My only issue is her weight. She's not obese, but every time we go out to dinner she eats dessert. I'm sure it's a simple matter of eating habits and getting a little exercise. How do I bring this up without sounding like a jerk?

Gus

Gus, where have you been? Controlling weight is anything but a simple matter. Two-thirds of adult Americans are overweight. There are thousands of diet books, and some people even go to the extreme of having their stomach stapled because nothing else seems to work.

You can keep dating this girl in hopes she will become the weight you want, just as she could keep dating you in hopes you will become taller. But you each have about the same chance of success.

You want her to change her life, so you can feel better about dating her. That is shallow, and you know it. We are not going to tell you how to get away with it.

Wayne

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

---

Universal Thought Systems Language Part 2

Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More

Life is About Choosing

Back to our youth days, we were taught that by... Read More

Save the Planet with Your Joy!

Your own level of frequency raises or lowers the overall... Read More

Michael Vick is Average

Michael Vick can do wonders on a football field, but... Read More

Let Change Be Your Friend, Mentor, and Inspiration

People have a tendency of anticipating pending change on the... Read More

What an Artist Experiences When Working With the Angels

I am an Angel artist on a passionate spiritual journey... Read More

Whats Simple?

If you walk up to a stranger in the grocery... Read More

Win Your Own Lotto

When people talk about enrichment, they are usually thinking of... Read More

Practice Being Like a Child

Remember the master teacher once said 2000 years ago, "Unless... Read More

A Path To Peace

The root of discord and violence between people and nations... Read More

Sharing Your Experiences and Your Potential!

Who dares to teach must never cease to learn. -... Read More

Change is the Only Constant

The physics professor with the unruly shock of white hair... Read More

Being Fruitful

Over the years I've learned to challenge my audiences to... Read More

Blessings and Art of Living

My perception is that universe infinitely blesses us every moment.... Read More

Trusting Your Genius Within

Comments about New Theories in the Professions and Business!I recall... Read More

Virtual Chocolate

A second on your lips forever on your hips never... Read More

The Climbs In Our Lives

I grew up climbing mountains. Mountains are beautiful and challenging,... Read More

Ignorance and Fantasy

Are beliefs not often the children of ignorance and fantasy?... Read More

One Woman?s Story of How Her Smile Increased Her Confidence

For one who takes pride in being involved with different... Read More

Facing the Enemies Within

We are not born with courage, but neither are we... Read More

How to Guarantee a GREAT Day Every Day!

I have a standing interview every Monday morning on a... Read More

All Is Going Well?

The true test in life does not occur when all... Read More

Heart

Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 24,... Read More

Top 20 Love Quotations

"In real love you want the other person's good. In... Read More

Self-Validation: Living an Empowered Life

Sometimes we are concerned with being right and we don't... Read More

Four Words that Make Life Worthwhile

Over the years as I've sought out ideas, principles and... Read More

Listening to Your Inner Voice May Save Your Life

"I was washing my breakfast dishes one morning when it... Read More

Accelerate Your Abilities

In today's fast-paced life, the wins usually go to those... Read More

No Problem!

Thanks to Walt Disney's "The Lion King", children the world... Read More

When Was the Last Time?

When was the last time you smiled at a stranger?When... Read More

What Forgiveness Is Not

Is a grudge-laden heart sabotaging your success in business and... Read More

Powerful Caretakers - Taking Good Care of Ourselves First

Our community consists of powerful caretakers. We do a great... Read More

Confidence Building Steps That Work Like Crazy!

Self-confidence is your assessment of your own self-worth. It plays... Read More