Why Standard Visitation Should NOT Be Standard

When a nuclear family separates, it usually separates into a "custodial" family and a "non-custodial" family. The custodial family is the parent with whom the children reside on a day-to-day basis. Most often, it's the Mother. The non-custodial family is the other parent - usually Dad - and the children when they are with him.

Dad usually gets "visitation" with his children. Some states refer to it as "parenting time," recognizing that he maintains his status as parent, but still distinguishing that his time with his children is regulated. For families which - prior to the separation - had Dad in the home, seeing the children every day, interacting with the kids on a regular basis, probably the single most traumatic event is when the kids realize that they won't see Dad every day. The single most on-going trauma occurs to kids when the visitation schedule is interfered with by Mom.

Now, this does not occur in every case, but it happens often enough. "Standard" visitation is alternating weekends and one evening per week. This is imposed because Moms, courts, and experts put forth that more frequent visitation is "disruptive" to the children and that kids should not be "bounced back and forth."

For kids that have gone from seeing Dad 30 times a month to 8 times a month, there IS nothing more disruptive! For kids that have gone from learning from, and being loved on a daily basis, by TWO parents to the sole CONTROL of one parent, there is NO bouncing that is more disruptive. If Dad is denied ONE weekend, his time with his children is reduced by 25%. Somehow, THAT disruption is never considered. Also never considered is the REAL disruption that occurs on the "one night per week": kids get bundled up, travel with Dad, get unbundled, eat dinner, maybe do homework, get bundled up again, travel back, get unbundled at Mom's house, and get ready for bed. Doesn't it make more sense to stay OVERNIGHT with Dad on this visit?

Where the children had Dad in the house on a daily basis, Courts need to consider schedules that provide the kids with more regular visit - daily after school, or every other day, or more mid-week overnight visitations. Kids who do not see their father are more likely to be abused by a boyfriend or step-father, abuse drugs,or engage in criminal activity. Frequent visitation may be one way to stem this terrible tide. http://onestop.easystorecreator.net

Erik Carter is an experienced family law litigator. He has created a website to help non-custodial fathers at http://onestop.easystorecreator.net He has also written two books: "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" http://dadspleadings.easystorecreator.net and "Six Temptations Of Jesus Christ" http://www.knowledge-download.com/Six_Tempt ations

---

The Impact of Divorce on Families

As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many... Read More

Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!

It can be difficult to get over a divorce and... Read More

Too Many Divorces

My oldest boy asked me something the other day about... Read More

Credit and Divorce

Mary and Bill recently divorced. Their divorce decree stated that... Read More

Tax & Financial Impacts of Divorce: 10 Mistakes to Avoid

Divorce is something no one hopes will happen to them... Read More

Surviving Life After Divorce

After divorce, the most important thing you can do is... Read More

Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?

According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics... Read More

Why Standard Visitation Should NOT Be Standard

When a nuclear family separates, it usually separates into a... Read More

Why Men Wont Commit To Marriage

A common reason why men wont commit could be due... Read More

Coping With Divorce Anger

Successfully releasing your anger will help you begin healing after... Read More

Marriage Seperation - A Practical Guide

Finance in marriage seperation is a very big issue particularly... Read More

Spare Your Kids To 7 Most Distressful Divorce Parenting Situations

What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents... Read More

3 Major Divorce Parenting Mistakes And Learn How To Avoid Them

What 3 major divorce parenting mistakes that surely lead to... Read More

Divorce--How the Legal System Works Against You

If there were no legal system, no lawyers and no... Read More

Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it

The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating... Read More

Hidden Divorce Costs

Divorce has become part of life in the 21st century.... Read More

The Heart Moves On: Using Ceremony to Mark the End of a Relationship

Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is a... Read More

Divorce Makes Us Stronger

My friends call me the "Divorce Poster Child".At the age... Read More

Guide To Reducing The Cost Of Divorce

Seven Tips to help you keep more of your money... Read More

Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?

If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy... Read More

Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce

When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few... Read More

Deciding On Spousal Support

No matter which side you are on, spousal support is... Read More

9 Steps to Regaining Self-Esteem After Divorce

Divorce is difficult at the 'best' of times. Even when... Read More

How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About Divorce

An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce.... Read More

Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source

Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what... Read More

Dating Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms

Dating is tough for just about everybody, but it's even... Read More

Top 5 To Dos Before Saying ?I Do?

1. DO allow yourself enough time to make one of... Read More

Five Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent

For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce,... Read More

Choosing Your Divorce Method

The biggest mistake that people make when getting divorced is... Read More

Commitment

Being marriage means being fully committed to your husband as... Read More

Surviving Divorce: What To Think About To Ensure Surviving Divorce

Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating... Read More

How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce

Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who... Read More

Divorce

The most recent statistics show that about 50% of all... Read More