Reasons You Arent Starting the Decision Making Process About Whether To Get a Divorce Or...

Stay Married

Along with any tough decision comes reluctance, especially when that decision involves an actual process and might potentially involve emotional pain or anguish. Deciding whether or not to get a divorce or stay married can be a frightening time for most people, even if they know deep inside themselves that they have to actually make a decision, one way or another.

People are reluctant to embark on an 'emotionally driven' decision making process because they fear that it will be uncomfortable or painful for them. The irony here is obvious...if they need to make this decision, their life or a portion if it, is already uncomfortable. One thing is for certain, deciding whether to get a divorce or stay married is indeed a process.

This process, like any other, includes key elements?elements that need to be examined. The elements of this process are self-revealing and can only come from within the person making the decision. The decision making process is comprised of stages and viewpoints about those stages. Stages are smaller pieces of the overall process and the viewpoints of each of those stages are only defined by the person making the decision. If you're trying to decide whether or not you should get a divorce or stay married, you must look at the stage of life you are currently in, and understand how you feel about it by clearly defining your viewpoint about it.

Are you completely unhappy?

Relatively unhappy?

Partially unhappy?

Do you feel that your marriage is unhealthy enough that you intend to do something about it?

Etc.

You can look back in the past and reflect on other stages of your life and examine how you felt about those stages if they contributed to your problem as you view it now. Reflecting on the past can be an effective way to identify key occurrences that may have shaped the way your viewpoint is currently. Reflecting also can help you to identify trends in behavior that may have contributed to your viewpoint. But in the end, the viewpoint and stage that matters most is the current one and that's the one that you need to define and assess most.

It is human tendency to reflect on the past and hold onto thoughts and feelings that were once good, but doing this might keep you in a stale mate if you dwell on the past too much. You have to look at the present time and actually "decide to decide" so to speak. Once you do realize that you need to decide whether or not to get a divorce, there will be things that will creep up that will actually keep you from taking action and deciding.

Here are 5 reasons you might not be deciding to take action when it comes to deciding whether you should get a divorce or stay married:

1. You know that the severity of divorce is something not to be taken lightly so you avoid that "potential" outcome by doing nothing.

I assure you, if you realize that divorce is serious, you're ahead of the game because it means that you will do what it takes to change your situation!

2. You haven't decided to take action because you think you actually do want a divorce, and you think that divorce can create emotional scars that take a long time to heal.

3. You know that, whatever the outcome, you're really not ready to face a potentially painful end result, so you avoid the situation all together.

4. You are just flat out scared to make a decision about divorce because you know that making this difficult decision will involve profound change and deep "self-examination". And, like most of us, you want to avoid the pain and discomfort that goes with that.

5. You just don't know where to start because you are confused due to the emotional complexities of the situation. You really don't know how you feel.

All are these are valid points, but they are really just excuses to do nothing.

And, if you do nothing, the problem will still remain. And that problem is "indecision".

You haven't committed to decide. If any of these things are keeping you from making a decision about whether to stay married, you're doing more harm to yourself than good. In fact, by doing nothing, you are only compounding your problem. You are contributing to your own unhappiness by not taking action and that is just flat out unhealthy!

The first stage to going through the process of deciding whether or not to get a divorce, is to overcome your fear of the potential outcome and embrace this 'emotionally driven' process. Defining your fears and identifying why you aren't making the decision, or at least starting the decision making process about getting a divorce or staying married, is the only way you will be able to reach your ultimate goal?making a final decision to either get divorced or try to work it out.

© Karl Augustine, 2004 "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce" Deciding on Divorce

Divorce Reasons

---

The Heart Moves On: Using Ceremony to Mark the End of a Relationship

Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is a... Read More

Child Support: 5 Key Things Every Parent Should Know

There is no magic solution to getting issues surrounding child... Read More

The Impact of Divorce on Families

As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many... Read More

Contested And Uncontested Divorce

A divorce case is contested if the parties cannot agree... Read More

5 Ways To Ensure You Will Have a Happy Life After Divorce

Life after divorce is something that most people who are... Read More

Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source

Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what... Read More

Extramarital Affair: Should You Get A Divorce Just Because One Of You Had An Extramarital Affair?

Having to deal with an extramarital affair can be a... Read More

Two Hearts Are Now One

It is fitting that I should write this story on... Read More

How Can Collaborative Law Be Beneficial In Your Texas Divorce?

Collaborative law is based on the realization that the commitment... Read More

Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce

When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few... Read More

Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?

Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but... Read More

Hidden Divorce Costs

Divorce has become part of life in the 21st century.... Read More

An In-Depth Look at Army Divorce Rates

Raleigh, NC-The largest divorce firm in the state, Rosen Law... Read More

Divorce Roadmap: The Route Around the Legal System

Let's look at how a divorce case works so you... Read More

Reasons You Arent Starting the Decision Making Process About Whether To Get a Divorce Or...

Stay MarriedAlong with any tough decision comes reluctance, especially when... Read More

7 Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion after Divorce

Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in... Read More

There Is Life After Divorce

A married woman becomes a single woman for one of... Read More

Divorce

The most recent statistics show that about 50% of all... Read More

9 Steps to Regaining Self-Esteem After Divorce

Divorce is difficult at the 'best' of times. Even when... Read More

Dating Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms

Dating is tough for just about everybody, but it's even... Read More

Why Men Wont Commit To Marriage

A common reason why men wont commit could be due... Read More

Five Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent

For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce,... Read More

How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce

Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who... Read More

Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement

During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in... Read More

Deciding On Spousal Support

No matter which side you are on, spousal support is... Read More

Divorce Articles: How To Get The Most From A Divorce Article

There are many types of divorce articles available on the... Read More

Women And Divorce: How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce

Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who... Read More

Commitment

Being marriage means being fully committed to your husband as... Read More

Stop Divorce: Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If Youre Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?

Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you... Read More

Divorce Online Sevice - Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?

Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means... Read More

How to Select a Divorce Lawyer

Selecting a divorce lawyer to handle your family law case... Read More

Divorce, The Hardest Thing You Have To Do

Knowing What To Do In DivorceKnowing what to do when... Read More

Love and Marriage Fairy Tale

When we were children we believed in fairy tales and... Read More