Let?s Say You?re a Dog. Are You So Competitive You?d Eat a Carrot?

Seems like a gal always learns something out on the farm! Yes, it's a farm tale and I'm going to change the names of the animals to protect the guilty!

I spent last weekend down in Lower Alabama where my friend from high school owns a farm. On the neighboring property there lives a donkey we'll call "Jake." On my friend's property there lives a dog ? his dog ? we'll call "Spot."

Okay, not too original, but it serves the purpose.

So as night falls, the evening ritual is to go out and feed the animals.

Out we go, 3 large carrots in hand ? well, his hand. His wife and I are just watching. My friend calls to Jake who, having 5 acres to roam, is nowhere in sight. Spot is circling around my friend, jumping up, spinning around. I'm sure you've seen this. Spot has been trained not to bark, but he's doing every other thing he can to attract attention, and acting ecstatic. Over a carrot??

"Jake's so jealous, he'll actually eat a carrot," says my friend, as we walk along.

Now, I've owned a couple of dogs in my day. You probably have too. Never did I have one who would eat a carrot. In fact it was a family fun time to watch one dog called Shy Nell when we would put vegetable soup in her dog dish for a treat ? Campbells, canned. She'd dive in and 2 seconds later walk away with nothing left in the bowl ? I mean not even a lick of gravy ? except for the carefully out-selected squares of carrot.

"Pretty discriminating tongue," I'd tell my son. "Imagine being able to select out those bits of carrot without fingers!"

"I hate carrots too," he would reply.

We can hear Jake making his way through the underbrush, and hear the breathing. Then my friend starts raising his voice, calling, and Jake starts his braying, to answer. When the three meet ? my friend, Jake, and Spot, Jake gets his head and back rubbed, and lots and lots of marvelous attention. And there sits Jake, even willing to eat a carrot in order to be included.

Take home points for you?

• Paired-conditioning is powerful

• If you're eating a "carrot" make sure what you're doing it for is worth it

• You're a person, ask for what you want, don't accept the substitute

• Remain mindful, lest the "carrot" become the only reward, and something you don't want, you just don't want someone else to have it!

The Golden Handcuffs, of course ? when you're working for the money, but the rest of it just isn't worth it.

Or when you're competing for a girl, a job, a promotion, a house ... and get so lost in the competition, you aren't mindful of whether the "catch" is what you really want. Don't end up working for your ego, not your heart.

Be mindful!

About The Author

© Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach?, http://www.susandunn.cc. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html.

---

Dont Settle

Settling is about not embracing what is best for you,... Read More

Skills for Change

The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true... Read More

What Does It Take To Have It All In Life?

Many people have asked me why I wrote my book,... Read More

Emotional Dependency or Emotional Responsibility

Emotional dependency means getting one's good feelings from outside oneself.... Read More

The Power of Visualization

Professional athletes and other highly successful people use the power... Read More

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never... Read More

What The Buddha Says About Coaches

There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If... Read More

Why a Self Help Book May Not Help You

For a self help book to work, we have to... Read More

Lovers Remorse

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 29,... Read More

Cause and Effect! Choose a Path

Three steps to your Personal Transformation:Awareness and PerceptionLaw of Cause... Read More

The Incredible Human Psyche

The intriguing Human psyche - more complex than the metamorphosing... Read More

Mailey?s Introspections [Monday, December 6th 2005]

As I work with clients as their introspective Inner Peace/Relationship... Read More

How Empathy Can Reduce Your Anger

Jim, a 42-year old engineer was teaching his eight-year-old son... Read More

Eureka! I?ve Found It!

OK, so it wasn't quite that big of a deal.... Read More

Crisis: Danger or Opportunity?

I have often heard motivational speakers say that the word... Read More

How To Gain Control Of Your Life

"The latter part of a wise man's life," said Jonathan... Read More

The Right Coach

Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?A friend... Read More

Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?

Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided... Read More

Are You Addicted to Anger?

Michael was raised in a home where anger was used... Read More

Top Ways to Maximize Your Talents at Work

Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at... Read More

The Secret of Self-Esteem

Have you ever thought about what really creates self-esteem? Having... Read More

Why a Coach is NOT a Consultant

Often while talking to people about my coaching practice I... Read More

What Is A Personal Trainer

Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in... Read More

How to Deal Effectively with Anxiety

Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part... Read More

How to Get More Business Without Even Trying

Why are you in business? Hopefully you enjoy what you... Read More

Sheep Do Not Start Out Lost

Have you ever thought about how sheep get lost? Even... Read More

Context is King!

If you've been around the Internet for more than two... Read More

Addiction to Worry

Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She... Read More

Surviving the Workday in Your Organization

Most people suffer from stress at some time during the... Read More

Several Red Flags for Spotting a Phony or Scam

The world is full of phonies and scammers these days.... Read More

Live With An Attitude Of Gratitude

Imagine for a moment one of those nights when you... Read More

6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care

Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they... Read More

Growing On G.R.O.W ? A More Specific Coaching Model For Busy Managers

The effective coaching of employees by their line managers is... Read More