3 Keys to Boosting Your Inner Confidence

I've been coaching for a few years now, and the biggest thing I've learnt - both for me and for my clients - is that inner confidence is the key to it all.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behaviour and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are ? here are the three keys to real inner confidence.

1. Get To Know Your Values
Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though ? they're one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are, and they're the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that's most important to you, and could include things like respect, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom.

Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It's because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed ? and we experience that as a negative experience because it's denying a fundamental piece of who you are. You know those times when you've felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honoured, and you can get more of that by living according to them.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens nobody can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them because they're there all the time just waiting for you to notice them and use them. When you get to know your values you can start to make choices and align your life around them ? it's so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you're allowing who you are to live in the real world.

2. Trust Yourself
People spend too much time looking for signs that they're doing the right thing or on the right path. Sometimes we get that by hearing that we're doing well at work, sometimes it could be encouragement from a friend or loved one, and sometimes we get that feedback by seeing our material wealth or possessions growing.

But rather than looking on the outside for those signs, how about looking on the inside at what you're telling yourself? How about trusting yourself to do the best thing and make great choices? How about trusting your own insights and using your own intuition? I've seen those ideas scare the bejeezus out of people and you know why? Because it makes you accountable and responsible for what you get. If you trust yourself implicitly and you make the wrong choice you've got nobody else to blame.

But the fact is that we all make mistakes and we'll all continue to make mistakes. So how would it be if you could trust yourself to get through anything and trust yourself to continue making choices that serve you well ? even if sometimes you screw up? That's the kind of trust I'm talking about, and that's genuine inner confidence.

Start by listening to yourself and noticing what your intuition is telling you. Be aware of that little voice inside you or those gut reactions you get and pay attention to what they're telling you. Trust yourself to make decisions, trust yourself to adapt and trust that you're good enough to have, do or be whatever you want. True confidence will follow.

3. Exercise the Muscle
Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn't shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.

It's just the same with confidence. Let's say that you're the kind of person that doesn't take many risks. The kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it's too scary or because you think to yourself 'I'm not good enough', 'that's not who I am' or 'I don't really want it anyway'. That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.

To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks ? big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you'll develop. That's your confidence muscle ? the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?

About the Author
Steve Errey's free ezine 'Being More' shows you proven ways that YOU can have, do and be more than you thought possible. By signing up you'll also receive a special report titled '5 Little Secrets Other Coaches Won't Tell You' ? visit http://www.steveerrey.com now.

Steve Errey is one of the UK's most successful coaches and specialises in personal growth for thirtysomethings - helping them with their careers, relationships and confidence and to get more fun, fulfilment and freedom. For more information please contact Steve on 0845 644 3001, by email at steve@steveerrey.com or visit his website at http://www.steveerrey.com.

---

Amazing Mind Control Secret... Your Key to Ultimate Success

Understand and apply this one secret to your own life,... Read More

10 Universal Principles of Success

Success is not something that only a chosen few can... Read More

Why the Elephants Dont Run

A number of years ago, I had the rather unique... Read More

Reach Your Goals - Progressive Goal Party

Hold a "progressive" goal party If you have a group... Read More

Neutralize The Negatives!

We are repeatedly told that we should forget about unpleasant... Read More

Stop Reading Success Books and Start Being Successful

So you want to be successful (whatever that means to... Read More

Success Lessons From Boxing

Sugar Ray Leonard and Sylvester Stallone recently opened an academy... Read More

If Only, If Only, If Only

Remove these words from your vocabulary!The words "If only ?"... Read More

Fear of Success? Fear of Failure?

What's holding you back?One of my clients came to me... Read More

Leading And Influencing An Audiance Of One Or A Hundred

Because Not All Skills Are Equal?Public Speaking MasteryHello,Tom Cruise is... Read More

The Importance of Listening Skills for Self Improvement and Success

Effective listening is almost certainly the most important communication skill,... Read More

Are You Looking For Success With A KISS?

I am sure that you're familiar with the old formula... Read More

Skills or Beliefs: Which Matters Most to Your Business?

Skills or beliefs; this may well be another example of... Read More

Own Your Success

Are you getting frustrated because the work you continue to... Read More

Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

They say that if you really want to stretch yourself... Read More

Evaluating Your Associations (Part One)

If you were to evaluate the major influences in your... Read More

Principles Of Success

Succinctly said, success is harmony. When the result is congruent... Read More

8 Dos and Donts When Asking Your Boss for a Raise

Feeling overworked and underpaid? If you're starting to feel like... Read More

Reach Your Goals - Friendly Competition

Friendly competition Get together with a group of like-minded friends... Read More

Success Lessons From A Gym Wall And From The Rematch

Recently, I have been riveted by the amazing reality show... Read More

The Communication of Your Biology & Beliefs

Not only do we communicate with ourselves, but our cells... Read More

Self Esteem

Self-esteem is very important. It is the way we view... Read More

A Little Equation that Creates Big Results

The purpose of man is in action not thought -... Read More

Reading For Success

We live in the information age, dominated by the development... Read More

Breakfast of Failures

"If you want to increase your success rate, double your... Read More

Think of Wealth and Become Wealthy

Our thought are magnetic ! Like a magnet we attract... Read More

Self Growth - How to Overcome Your Critics

They all know it's part of the success journey.They know... Read More

How To Create What You Want...And Want What You Create

Something For You To Consider?How To Create What You Want... Read More

Your Success

Success starts in your mind. Positive Thinking creates the advantage.Success... Read More

Candleburning 101

One of the questions that I am asked most often... Read More

Achieve Success Now - What Are You Waiting For?

Are you ready to finally realize your dream? I'm talking... Read More

How To Get Out Of The Way Of Your Own Success

Success is something that happens all by itself once you've... Read More

Two Great Success Tips - Read And Apply What You Learn And Do It Now!

Today I was glad that I had bothered to read... Read More