Stress Management: The Power of Expectancy

On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water skiing with some new friends. I hadn't skied in a while, and as I floated in the water with long pieces of wood strapped to my feet, here's what I remember thinking:

"I wonder if I remember how to do this." "Will I be able to get up?" "How soon will I crash?"

The rope tightened and I got up like I'd been doing this for years, began to ski and sure enough, the next thing I knew - crash - face full of lake.

Here comes the point of the story - As I floated in the water, waiting for the boat and the rope to come back around, I realized that the only reason I had crashed was because I had expected to crash.

The Power of Expectancy

The power of expectancy shapes our lives. I've found that most of us have either a negative expectancy (things won't work out) or a positive expectancy (things usually work out). There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.

Expectancy controls what we focus on, and what we focus on usually comes about.

Eeyore Expectancy

I call people that always focus on the negative "Eeyores." For those of you who do not have kids or don't remember the story, Eeyore is a donkey in the Winnie the Pooh story that mopes around, head hung to the ground, moaning and groaning about life.

The Language

"It's just too good to be true"

"I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop" There are times when we are so sure that the other shoe is going to drop that we throw it down ourselves.

"If something bad can happen, it will, and it will happen to me."

The Outcome

The outcome of "eeyore expectancy" is usually fairly lousy. Even if good stuff does happen, it's easy to miss with your eyes dragging the ground. You get what you focus on.

Positive Expectancy

Here's what positive expectancy is not:

burying your head in the sand and saying "everything will be all right."

a glorified form of denial

a new term for "positive thinking"

I don't believe in "positive thinking", at least not in the way it's commonly portrayed. Example: while it's pouring rain, walking through the rain saying "It's not raining, it's not raining, it's not raining," will get you soaked!

Positive expectancy IS an attitude. It's an attitude that goes something like, "whatever happens, not only will we figure out a way to handle it, we'll also find a way to make it work for us."

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

10 Ways to Enjoy Your Stress More

1. The Mentor Method: think of your favorite person. Someone... Read More

Is it a Crime to be a White Guy in A Tan Car?

I had the unpleasant experience of being pulled over the... Read More

Stress Management:: 4 Critical Distinctions

Stress Vs PressureStress is something we all have, it's not... Read More

13 Stress Reducers & Profit Boosters

The United Nations declares workplace stress to be a worldwide... Read More

Why Stress Is Not Necessary

We are not designed for long term stress.It causes us... Read More

Stress Tips

26 ways to minimize and manage the unhealthy effects of... Read More

Stress Relief for Busy Business People - 11 Easy Ways

Make stress less of an issue for you in your... Read More

The Art of Worrying

I am worried. I have been biting my nails for... Read More

Control Stress or It Will Control Your Business

When we think about stress in the workplace, we usually... Read More

10 Symptoms of Workplace Stress

It is no secret that stress and related disorders are... Read More

The Physiology of Stress

In the body, the stress response is mediated by the... Read More

Stress and Your Immune System: 10 Ways to Relax and Rejuvenate

Stress seems to have become a constant factor in today's... Read More

The Benefits of Eating from a Jar of Honey

June is the month of the honey moon. Custom holds... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: The Value of Vitamin NO

What part of no don't you understand? - Bumper stickerThe... Read More

No More Sleepless Nights (Insomnia)

Insomnia is usually the result of the modern way of... Read More

Dealing With Stress in Our Overworked Lives

As small business owners, we often take on more than... Read More

Stress In The Workplace

According to the Australian Council of Trade Unions' (A.C.T.U.) 1997... Read More

Make a Handbag - Discover Inner Peace and Stress Reduction

Have you ever considered sewing a handbag as an act... Read More

Stress Management: 9 Universal Laws for Problem Solving

1. The Law of GiftsRichard Bach, author of "Illusions" says... Read More

Reduce Stress and Increase Energy with Your Point of View!

Defending your point of view can use up a lot... Read More

Stress Relief ? A Backyard Hot Tub Is Your Answer

We all know what it's like coming home from a... Read More

Stress Management: 3 Rules for Dealing with Difficult People

Seems like more and more they are all around us.... Read More

Empowerment for Highly Sensitive People: Part 1

Are you a person who has a keen imagination, a... Read More

How To Use Diet To Reduce Your Stress

The Problem You don't need me to tell you how... Read More

Those Deceiving Emotions

Deceiving? You bet they are. How? Without your even knowing... Read More

The Three Rs of Handling Your Emotions

My son was watching a Richard Scarry video this morning... Read More

5 Top Tips To Boost Your Spirits

1. Take a relaxing bath. Add music, candles and a... Read More

Stress Management Shouldnt Create More Stress. 10 Ways To Reduce Unreasonable Stress and Boost Perf

We all know that stress levels in the workplace are... Read More

Worry: Do We Have A Choice?

As Montaigne said, "he who fears he will suffer, already... Read More

Can You Say Yes To Less Stress

A little stress is good for us until it becomes... Read More

How Stress Effects Neurotransmitters

The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily... Read More

Simple Tips to Help Simplify Your Life! - Make it Great!

Quote of the week"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Leonardo da... Read More

Stress is a Killer?Will it get YOU?

What good is Personal or Business Success...if your Health is... Read More