O.k., you're standing there all alone at a party and in the far corner of the room your boyfriend is talking to some groovy chick. She's coming onto him and much to your dismay, he doesn't seem to be bragging about all how happy he is in his relationship with you. In fact, he even seems to be encouraging and indulging the shameless slattern's disgusting, desperate, gall-filled pleas for sexual attention. So you a) burst into tears and run from the room b) go up to him and drape yourself around his neck so she can't miss the fact that you and him are "together" or c) stand there and repeatedly tap his shoulder with your finger going "Um honey, honey, honey, I have to talk to you ... until he finally is forced to turn around and scream in your face "WHAT!"
Actually, none of the above are the right answers. Unfortunately, the minute you display jealousy, you convey neediness and insecurity and according to Jungian psychiatrist William Rock Penfield, people of both sexes find this extremely unattractive in a partner. What they really find attractive is something called "the unattainable." That is why your boyfriend is flirting with the gorgeous interloper in the first place. He knows he belongs to you and therefore she becomes attractive because she is unattainable. Another reason we flip out, and become jealous is because we know we've already been "attained". The person knows he already "has you" so there is nothing to chase... no thrill to the hunt... the cupid's arrow has already met its mark and now you are about as sexually exciting as a carcass thrown in a burlap sack.
No,the best thing for you to do in such a situation, is to mirror his behaviour. Make yourself unattainable. Replace thoughts like "No, no, no ....please don't do this to me." and " Please, please. Stop. Stop flirting with him!" to "Oh so you think you have this relationship in the bag do you.... while here's me brushing my breasts up against your best friend's arm and here's me batting my eyelashes at that guy you hate and here's me smiling and waving at you like nothing's wrong ... nothing at all!" Make like you're the wild unpredicatable one --like what he's doing doesn't matter --like you could leave this party at any minute with his successor. Before you know it, he'll be the one casting you the anxious looks, as you dirty dance with the cute guy you just met near the fridge. If he doesn't, maybe you should consider leaving the party with the new guy. Or girl.
Because this mirroring trick works on both sexes. What doesn't work is begging, pleading, crying and trying to blackmail the person into never doing it again, later, when you get home in bed. Who wants to be with a needy, whiny jealous person. What a turnoff!
Samantha Steven's articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha's books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=1 10 You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|


When we think of precious gems, we usually spare little... Read More
About a year ago, I was talking to a friend... Read More
Ever since the women's movement began, women have empowered themselves... Read More
Have you ever been called a flirt?Good for you!You see,... Read More
Is there someone close to you who has an annoying... Read More
"Love makes the world go around" was true when it... Read More
What is a relationship? What does a relationship mean? There... Read More
Are men really from Mars, and women from Venus?'what women... Read More
Dear Lucia,I know I made a stupid mistake but what... Read More
Picture, if you will, the following scene:A man and woman,... Read More
Have you ever told your partner or spouse how you... Read More
While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More
It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving... Read More
Have you been blindsided by an unhappy spouse who suddenly... Read More
Trust is something that is important to every single relationship... Read More
Every relationship needs relief from the same old bedroom routine... Read More
When starting a new relationship, many women (and men as... Read More
We can fall into the habit of complaining about our... Read More
Just about every night at our house, we read a... Read More
With a divorce rate in this country that approaches 50%,... Read More
If you have the uneasy feeling that your husband is... Read More
I have written this article by request but want to... Read More
The famous three words we never hear enough of in... Read More
WHAT IS COMMITMENT?The question of when a relationship is committed... Read More
Communication and listening is very important in any relationship. For... Read More
Have you ever wondered why you feel an instant attraction... Read More
Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More
1. Time together is time during which the complete focus... Read More
Think back to when you were a child. Pick a... Read More
Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at... Read More
Q. Does a friendship quiz really work?A. That depends upon... Read More
It happened again!I was enjoying an evening with my little... Read More
In my e-book, How to Build Relationships That Stick, I... Read More


What is the basic difference between loving someone and being... Read More
Spring is in the air. It is a time of... Read More
Do you want to find the "love of your life?"It's... Read More
How often do you think about what you are going... Read More
I'm always dumbfounded when someone walks up to me and... Read More
Violence in the family often follows other forms of more... Read More
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More
You've been in a relationship for quite some time and... Read More
Q: I've read that you are never supposed to bring... Read More
Society's current conception of the term "soul mate" is completely... Read More
You hate it, but it's happened ? the love of... Read More
The Relationship TriangleMost people get involved in a relationship for... Read More
Enhance Romance today.When Men and Women enter into a relationship,... Read More
Relationships. Virtually all of us are in one, or at... Read More
If you don't have the time, money or energy to... Read More
We all feel angry from time to time, but feeling... Read More
What do women or men want out of a relationship?... Read More
Hamlet has given this generation an awfully amazing and defensive... Read More
Destructive communication erodes self-esteem and harms relationships. Such communication patterns... Read More
Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is... Read More
The toys are put away, homework's done and the kids... Read More
Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You... Read More
When it comes to giving a romantic gift, it's not... Read More
Do you ever disagree with your spouse? Or your boyfriend... Read More
Being in love does not mean that you should turn... Read More
Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home ? Now What?Laura anxiously... Read More
It is surprising how many writers, psychologists, or scientists have... Read More
Every so often, I will hear a relationship speaker claim... Read More
Before the advent of the internet, long-distance relationships were rare.... Read More
Is there someone close to you who has an annoying... Read More
That lover's holiday we know as Valentine's Day is coming... Read More
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in... Read More
The first thing you want to do is to get... Read More
Relationship |