Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

Most of what we've been taught about how to be happy, how to be successful, how to get what we want was well intended ? but wrong.

We've been told that we have to work hard to succeed and when we're a success we'll be happy. Maybe that's true ? if we're clear about what we need to be happy. Too many of us have been misled by well-meaning parents, teachers, spouses and employers to believe that success means big houses, fancy cars, luxury vacations and bulging bank accounts.

Few would disagree that those are our society's measure of success and nice to have, but too often they don't bring happiness. Instead, they often lead to addictions, illnesses, wounded children and divorce, which can lead to unhappiness, loneliness and financial woes.

The good news is that you can change your thinking and change your life. I know, because I did.

I was a workaholic for most of my adult life until breast cancer forced me to slow down and take a look at the messages that had driven me to be so driven. I remembered an experience I'd had years before, when I went to a hypnotherapist and, in trance, was more relaxed than I'd ever been in my life.

"What would you have to do to feel like this all the time," he asked. And I knew immediately. I'd have to let go of being so attached to the way things turned out. What was I attached to? Everything!

I was attached to people saying and doing certain things (even in the past, so I kept rehashing old dialogs so I'd get to say what I hadn't said then), I was attached to my saying and doing certain things. I was attached to motorists being courteous, check-out clerks being efficient, my clients buying lots of product, my boss being able to lead, my neighbors being quiet? well, you get the picture.

On the way home I asked myself, what if I let go of my attachments to outcomes? What if I turned what I wanted into a goal, instead?

I discovered it was easy to tell the difference. I could work hard to reach a goal and if I didn't make it I was okay. I'd learn from the experience and try again. When I was attached, not getting what I wanted, or even thinking I might not get it would trigger a wash of an unpleasant emotion ? anger, fear, anxiety, stress, doubt, frustration, victimization, etc. Whenever I recognized I was attached, I'd ask myself: just this once, can I let go of my attachment to this? Can I turn it into a goal, instead? Almost always, the answer was yes.

The advantage to having goals instead of attachments is that you can reasonably work toward having what you want without being so stressed and stressing that you lose your health or your family. You can let go of your attachments to living life the way society tells you you "should," and discover what truly makes you happy.

You don't have to have breast cancer (other cancer, stroke, heart attack, etc.) to learn what I learned. Practice letting go of your attachments to outcomes, change your thinking and you will change your life.

Karin Ireland, author of the award-winning Learning to Trust Myself: Lessons From Cancer and Other Life Dilemmas and 10 Practices That Will Bring You Peace, Confidence and Success: The Workbook is a popular speaker, workshop leader, and personal coach. Visit her at http://www.IrelandCommunications.com

---

Good News! The Pathway of Change Is Predictable

Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More

Aging

Aging is a matter of the mind.The years may creep... Read More

How Important is Attitude?

We have often missed the mark because we believe we... Read More

Thought Patterns To Create Success

Let's say you're ready to change some aspect of your... Read More

Star Wars the POSITIVE Effect !

In many ways the Star War movies are simply a... Read More

Take a Gratitude Break

An old Joni Mitchell song reminds us, "don't it always... Read More

Thoughts are Things

You've probably heard this idea at one time or another.... Read More

First Aid For The Soul

A Model of the dysfunctional, unconscious human psyche. A way... Read More

Open the Pandoras Box & Unleash your Hidden Power.

It really doesn't matter what your objectives are in this... Read More

Improve Your Relationships Instantly

Discover how easy it is to improve your relationships. The... Read More

3 Proven Ways To Build Self-Esteem

When someone thinks of a person with self-esteem most people... Read More

Are You A Prisoner of Your Own Making?

There is a wonderful story about the famous escape artist,... Read More

The Difference Between the Curmudgeons and the Serene

Have you ever noticed how many unhappy people there are... Read More

Community After Tragedy

One Friday in November, I began a journey from New... Read More

Cant Take a Compliment?

"Putting ourselves down, is an insult to our worth." --Helen... Read More

How to Experience Life as a Thrilling Adventure

"Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side... Read More

Create Your Own Confidence Bank Account

This is a technique that sounds a bit silly when... Read More

Theres No Negative In My Program - Part 2

Well you know about the young hero who saved his... Read More

11 Great Ways to be Positive about Change

Look for the positives!Seek them out - those little scary... Read More

Not Getting What You Want in Life? Your Thoughts Could Be the Culprit

Unhappy? Stressed out? Do you feel you not only want... Read More

Perfect to the Penny

At some point in our careers, we may find ourselves... Read More

Do You Believe What You Think?

If you work toward what you dream, the dream can... Read More

Growth From Discontent: Lifes Way Of Giving You A Little Push

That strange, gut-wrenching feeling you have is not the sushi... Read More

How Gratitude Can Be Your Partner in Life

Gratitude is one of the most important things you can... Read More

Anger And Your Health

HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGERJane... Read More

From Stress to Adventure

Ten tips to transform your move into a creative life... Read More

Optimism, the Only Option for Success

People with negative attitudes may wonder why they never achieve... Read More

Down On Your Luck? Heres How You Get Over The Hump!

It's time to put a bad rumor to rest right... Read More

Change Your Thoughts And Your Life: 5 Simple Ways To Bring More Peace And Harmony To Your Life

When you change your thoughts, you change your life. The... Read More

Impact of Positive and Negative Catalysts on Events in Human Lives

Have you ever noticed what can happen if you just... Read More

Distortions are False Beliefs Programmed Every Day by Self and Those Around Us

Distortions are False Beliefs Programmed every Day by Self and... Read More

5 Ways To Use Mind Power To Maximise Your Potential

Why do patients who are given placebo pills report that... Read More

Adding Meaning To Your Life

You got up today to go to work, to come... Read More