Childrens Friendships Made Easy

Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.

More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.

Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.

Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.

The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.

Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.

Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.

It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.

Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.

Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child's life is full), opportunities for visits to friend's homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.

However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.

For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

---

A Mothers Way

Dear MomOn this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let... Read More

Children and Mom and Paper

Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More

The ADHD Parents Guide: Questions for the School

Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The 4 Ds of Time with Family

How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More

Free Stuff for Twins: Incentives for Parents of Multiple Births

A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More

Simple Indulgences for September

As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More

Son, Can I Use The Car Tonight?

I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More

Summer Marks the Time to Remember Active Supervision Around Family Swimming Pools

LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More

Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses

What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More

Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means

Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More

Americas Public schools --- Deteriorating Like They Did In Ancient Rome

The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education... Read More

Personal Responsibility: What It Means and Whose Job is It?

"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More

Who Will Be Their Guardian?

If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More

What Parents Should Do For Children To Do Their Best After Divorce?

Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More

How Public Schools Coerce Parents Into Giving Mind-Altering Drugs To Their Children

Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More

The Hardest Job I Ever Had

I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More

Friends Are A Gift You Give Yourself

My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence

I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More

Guide Your Kids! This 3-D Map Leads to Character

A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More

Child Discipline - Be Consistent With Your Child

The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More

Twin and Multiple Births are on the Rise

Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More

A Dads Thoughts On Dads day

21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More

Twins - Double The Trouble Or Double The Pleasure? Both!

If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part I

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More

How Useful Are Bed Wetting Alarms

Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More

Misplaced Passion

"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More

Potty Training ?To Train or Not to Train?

I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: Improving Concentration and Focus

Some people can concentrate on an assignment, to the exclusion... Read More

Helping Your Teen Get Back to School With Clear Skin

Backpack? Check. Notebooks? Check. Ink-pens? Check. Clear Skin? Mommmm!If you... Read More

Swing Sets and Outdoor Play Equipment- 5 Essential Tips Before You Buy

For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor... Read More

Baby Name Meanings

Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More

Why Creativity and Self-Expression are Important to Little Kids

Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More

Children Cooperate When Appreciated

Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More