How to Stop Divorce Parental Conflict from Bursting?

It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after divorce the culprit of most psychological-adjustment problems the children are having. So, how to stop the post-divorce parental conflict from bursting must be given a premium importance by parents who want to have a healthy, happy and successful divorced children.

First let us identify the source of most post-divorce parental conflict. It is only when we are able to identify exactly the source of most post-divorce parental conflict that we are able to stop.

It is said that building or maintaining regular communication with your 'ex' is one of the most important keys to successful divorce parenting. If there exist an ineffective communicating relationship between spouses, one may be left the other uninformed of the important matters relative to their children and thus often become the major source of new parental conflict.

Effective parenting after divorce requires effective communication. Even if spouses don't like each other, or disagree on many issues, they still have to work together as a team as far as their children are concerned. Both should know what's going on.

With stronger co-parenting communication, there will be less chance of misunderstandings and conflicts between the ex-spouses -- and a better chance of a healthy upbringing for the children.

Here are the five goals you can set to improve co-parenting communication:

1. Have a clear, consistent schedules and rules.

2. Keep each other abreast of any parenting-related developments or important issues.

3. Set an appointment to speak with your ex about any problems, then be polite but firm while trying to solve them.

4. Develop a trust level between each other.

5. Be civil and reasonable at all times.

To keep communication healthy, use these guidelines when you communicate in person with your 'ex'.

1. Be consistent. Make sure your facial expressions and body language are consistent with your words.

2. Relax. If your emotions become too overwhelming, learn to relax and breathe slowly or ask that the conversation be continued later. Leave if you have to.

3. Bring a friend. If in the past talking to your 'ex' has resulted in violence or verbal attack, take another person with you.

4. Back off. If your 'ex' is emotionally closed, back off. Keep on talking and explaining will get angry while your 'ex' gets irritated. Just wait for a better time or write a letter. Letters are a perfect option for communicating clearly and without emotions. They also allow the other person time to digest what you say.

5. Bounce it back. If your 'ex' attacks you verbally, reply, "I refuse to receive that. I need to be respected in this conversation and, if you're not able to do that right now, we should continue this later." Don't act snotty, superior, or self-righteous. Be kind. If your 'ex' continues to bait you into an argument, leave calmly and quietly.

Remember your children's welfare must always be your first priority. Think about the long-term effects on your children of everything you and your ex say and do. Follow the above goals and guidelines. Strive to improve your co-parenting communication then you can create the best possible co-parenting relation. Do all these for your children sake.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

About The Author

Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; support@101divorceparenting.com

In The News:

pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Parental Involvement in Learning

Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when... Read More

How Illiteracy Can Ruin Your Childs Life

It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More

Why Wont My Child Do as I Say?

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More

Why have children? DINCs, This is For You!

First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More

Life Lessons in a Glass of Beer

It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that... Read More

Labeling is Disabling: Achieving Congruent Communication

A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More

10 Things You Can Do To Help A Shy Child

There are a few points about shyness in children which... Read More

Diaper Bags for Dads - Papas Got a Brand New Bag

Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More

Teach Children The Skills Of Optimism

Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More

Girls Gone Mild

Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More

The Free Ride In Public Schools

To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More

Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More

Guide to Choosing Plush Toys for Children

Many people consider plush toys great for children. They say... Read More

Understanding A Childs Beliefs, Nuturing Young Beliefs

Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More

Top 25 Children Quotations

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More

How Can I Teach My Child Respect?

A common theme over the past 20 years has been... Read More

The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble

To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More

7 Powerful Ways to Show Love to Children

Our children are our most important legacy to the world.... Read More

Helping Your Child Cope With A Long-Term Illness

All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More

Understanding The Report

"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More

On Raising a Child with Disabilities: Sara & the Nail Salon

Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More

So, The Thing Is... Im Feeling A Little Guilty

So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More

A Mothers Way

Dear MomOn this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let... Read More

How To Homeschool Without Making Your Child An Outcast

If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More

Really Good News About Your Children?s Video Games

Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green... Read More

Helping Your Child to Deal with Change

Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More

Promoting Your Childs Motor Development

Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More

The 411 on Natural Colic Remedies

Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More

I WONT DO IT! Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child

"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More

Diagnosing ADHD in Your Child, an Introduction

Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More

The Seven Keys to Child Obedience

Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More

Keeping Your Children Safe

The purpose of this article is to address some of... Read More