This whole idea of change is founded on a single principle: CHANGE IS ALL IN YOUR MIND.
First comes a desire or need to change. Then comes an attitude that permits it. Then come behaviors that lead to it and support it. And finally, change happens - or at least you realize that it has happened!
The substance or result of the change process becomes clear at the moment you realize that something has changed - that you're getting BETTER, or that the situation is becoming DIFFERENT. And the notion of fundamental change ultimately leads to the possibility that you can actually be the BEST you that you can be.
All you need to do is take the change process all the way. All it takes, really, is the desire to grow, to change - and the realization that the process never really ends.
By acknowledging that your development is an ongoing process - a work in progress - you'll keep discouragement and frustration at relatively low levels when you suffer a setback or reach a plateau that could make you believe that you can't go on. You'll immediately realize that the situation is temporary and that you'll move on just as soon as you're ready. For just a few moments let's look at an "ideal state" scenario for change, one in which you truly "go with the flow."
The concept of "flow" isn't new, although recent books and articles seem to give it a lot of emphasis. "Flow" is what every one of us has experienced when, as children, we got really deep into our playing. Can you remember pretending to be Superman or Wonder Woman? How did that feel? Wasn't it exciting? Didn't you really believe that you could do all those superhuman things? Of course, that was imaginary, but the feeling is what I want you to remember. What words describe it?
One word is "joy." When your activity is going along without a hitch you may feel joyous. Moreover, you're likely to lose yourself in the activity, to become "one" with it. Your sense of time evaporates. Sometimes you go into "slow motion." This happens to me when I reach a deep state of concentration.
On the other hand, sometimes an hour will pass in what you feel is just a minute or two. For me, this can happen when I'm in front of my computer, especially when I'm surfing the Internet or working on a particularly interesting copy writing assignment.
When I reach this state, I often get a feeling of effortless achievement. One of the best examples of this for me is when I am skiing. Usually, at some point during the day, I begin a run and I just know that it's going to be perfect. All fear disappears; my brain and my body mesh in perfect synchronization; and my spirit soars! What a feeling!!
The way one gets to this remarkable state depends on a certain conditioning, one that involves a deep commitment to improvement and a conscientious planning process that outlines exactly what it is you want to achieve at this stage of your development. Mindful of that, the actions you take must be highly focussed, specifically located in the present, in the NOW. Whenever your mind leaves the NOW, your sense of flow will be disturbed and your effortless progress will dissolve into a confusion of ideas and time frames. When you're looking for flow, concentrate on NOW and on the single idea you're pursuing at this moment.
This ability to reach a "flow" state requires consistent practice. One way to motivate yourself toward this is to work on developing some talent not necessarily related to new experiences or skill-sets. You can profit from going back to some talent you already possess - sports, playing a musical instrument, gardening, crafts - whatever. Almost every one of us has some skill or interest that was very important years ago but has been lost in the process of being a responsible adult.
Take some time to inventory your talents and commit to activating at least one of them again. Not only will you likely discover that you get up to speed very quickly, but you'll also find that you can improve that already-acquired skill quite easily. That'll make you feel pretty good about yourself. Now translate the improvement process to the life change you want to make, and see what happens.
Next, pick a workable strategy, a way of approaching the task of conscious change that uses skills and inclinations you already know and use. Some people, for instance, prepare for change by reading every relevant book and magazine article they can get their hands on. Is this you? If so, go for it.
If not, well maybe you're a Nike-type person, a JUST DO IT enthusiast. This kind of person is willing to be knocked about some by new experiences and feelings, but for this kind of person, that's the way that learning occurs. Another type likes to make task lists, to-do sheets, project management schedules, timetables and other quantifying devices. If that's your thing, then use it.
It's always easier to use what you know than to learn something entirely new, and there's no sin in taking the easier, softer way when one exists for you.
Whatever your talents, inclinations or methodologies, one very good way to get motivated toward a "flow" of change is to listen hard to what others see, to get feedback from peers, friends and family. I belong to a group of writers who meet regularly to review and critique each other's work. I can't tell you how much better my work has gotten thanks to the input of others who know what they're looking at. In fact, this seminar has a board of advisors that see everything we do periodically. They comment, they critique, they suggest, and I respond. Net result, the seminar keeps getting better and better!
OK...so now you're motivated. How do you stay that way throughout the change process? Here are a few things to think about, to do, to watch out for.
First, make a conscious decision about how much of your time and effort you're willing to invest in the change process. This decision will, of course, influence or determine how long it will take to change, the degree of change over time, and so forth. But by quantifying your time allocation you'll be less likely to give too much time to activities that aren't productive. You'll also more easily focus on NOT trying to over-perfect things that are OK as is. Finally, by allocating your time you'll keep your effort in this area in balance with the rest of your life Next, make only wise comparisons. As you make progress, you're going to want to measure it. Often we measure ourselves by our observations of others. Guard against comparing yourself to the top experts ? those people you believe are absolutely perfect. They'll represent impossible-to-reach targets and you'll get discouraged. Measure yourself against those who are just far enough ahead of you to represent a viable challenge for you. One way to avoid that trap is to measure yourself tomorrow against yourself yesterday. The old sports cliché of "personal best" holds here. This yardstick measures only how far you've come, not necessarily how far you have to go. It's easier on the ego and generally more positive. The next idea has to do with NOT getting UNmotivated. Avoid toxic people. Not everyone will share your goal of wanting to become the best you can be. In fact, many people will get jealous when you bring up that kind of subject, and they'll try to shoot you down. Identify these people as soon as you can and run as fast as possible away from them.
Finally, you absolutely MUST learn to accept setbacks. They're inevitable. Conflicting schedules, problems with the learning curve, the need to know one thing you don't know in order to learn another thing you need to know...there are many obstacles. Don't let them throw you. Find some supportive people you can vent to. That'll relieve the pressure and let you move on.
A final note about people you ask for advice. Make sure that there are as many of them as possible, and rotate the people you ask. If you hear too much from any one person, you may find yourself hearing the same messages, limiting your own growth, and perhaps antagonizing the person you're leaning on.
At the very bottom of all this are those core ideas...that change takes time and effort...that it's entirely your responsibility...that there are many ways to achieve the same outcome...and that there are people who will support you.
So it's not at all impossible to change ANYTHING that will help you to grow as a person in any dimension...physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
Copyright 2002, 2005 Optimum Performance Associates/Paul McNeese. Paul McNeese is CEO of Optimum Performance Associates, a consulting firm specializing in transitional and transformational change for individuals and institutions through publication. His publishing company, OPA Publishing, is an advocacy for self-publishing authors of informational, instructional, inspirational and insightful nonfiction. Email: pmcneese@opapublishing.com Websites: http://www.opapublishing.com and http://www.opapresents.com
'Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of... Read More
All of the books that we will ever need to... Read More
When your life is over how will you be graded?... Read More
Most people have no idea where their money goes. They... Read More
So often we hear about "being" rather than "doing." Often... Read More
Can you believe it, summer is almost over. Did you... Read More
There have been many discussions and grumblings in the Western... Read More
Writing a 'life script' is like writing a movie script.... Read More
Miracles are your responsibility! What does that mean? Simple...You have... Read More
Living your successful life requires you to step out. I... Read More
"We must be the change we wish to see in... Read More
I am sitting here at a public access wireless location... Read More
In other words, it is in the "doing" that we... Read More
The ladder was braced against the railings going to the... Read More
Here's a bold statement:Change can be simple and easy.It really... Read More
"I have heard it said that the first ingredient of... Read More
Beginnings are seldom as complicated as they seem. You know... Read More
Many people say that working for themselves or working on... Read More
Have you ever imagined that life could be a lot... Read More
My older daughter got married 10 days ago. The wedding... Read More
Most of us plan to find the love of our... Read More
Motivation by comparison is a dynamic form of motivation which... Read More
It's not easy to stay motivated and beat procrastination while... Read More
Have you failed to create the life you want, because... Read More
There is hardly anything more personal that what motivates each... Read More
It is being suggested here that we have only one... Read More
Would you like to feel and function like age 40... Read More
What am I made of? Do I have what it... Read More
Taking action about our current station in life involves taking... Read More
The other day I was on my way home, and... Read More
We're all aware of how important teamwork is and how... Read More
The importance of will-power is recognized by most men, yet... Read More
Confidence: The word conjures up images of self-assurance and... Read More
One of our most powerful psychological needs is the craving... Read More
Are you still "stuck on still?" If so, don't let... Read More
Here is an interesting quotation from Stephen Walsh."We're building up... Read More
As every New Year approaches, many of us are doing... Read More
No matter how hard you try to make them otherwise,... Read More
The wish to have or be something, especially one that... Read More
Your ability to move into action and to achieve bottom... Read More
Do you find yourself sitting at work longing to be... Read More
The president of a large North Eastern company, doing business... Read More
Man, I love to procrastinate! And I'm pretty darn good... Read More
Beginnings are seldom as complicated as they seem. You know... Read More
Gail Lindenfield is a well-known British author who has written... Read More
Every thought of a human being is transformed as picture... Read More
There is a new television show, called Blind Justice that... Read More
One of the keys to success is staying motivated because... Read More
Some people call them vicious circles or cycles. I prefer... Read More
Susan stood on the scale the other day. She had... Read More
Our physical brains quickly and easily handle mundane sequences of... Read More
It was a mild October night, weeks after the horrific... Read More
"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what... Read More
Someone once pointed out to me that in many of... Read More
It is not just new age hype, studies in the... Read More
Ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel so... Read More
Within is the person we really are. Within lies our... Read More
"Mommy, he's doing it again." I yelled as I came... Read More
Many of us are influenced by the sports ethic: Never... Read More
How healthy is your vision of yourself? How does your... Read More
It was Albert Einstein who stated that 'imagination is more... Read More
I edited and re-edited my article. I had to make... Read More
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:51 am. The alarm is once again... Read More
Q. I've always tried to work hard enough to provide... Read More
Persistence will carve you as a leader in your industry.... Read More
I am sitting here at a public access wireless location... Read More
Motivation |