Requesting the Presence of Your Presents

For better or worse, in people's minds weddings and wedding gifts go together like a horse and carriage. Social reformers in the guise of religious reverends and ministers might rail against the excesses practiced by bridal couples, but their words fall on unheeding ears. Even governments, from time to time, try to curb the tendency by passing laws against luxury and extravagance. Invariably their influence is as transient as their own existence.

Weddings without gifts is a contradiction in terms.

Go back to the early days of carefree village life and you'll see wedding guests entering the room, diffidently or bashfully, making their offering to the bride and groom. Perhaps it might be a cup cunningly wrought out of a piece of wood found in the garden patch. Or a brand new pillow, fat with the down of their own flock of geese.

After carefully examining the offering, the bride and groom would nod their approval at the party organiser standing close beside them, and also known as the keeper of beer or ale or mead or whatever the popular drink of the time. A much appreciated gift would result in a giant tankard of liquid refreshment for the giver. Less appreciated one would generate a smaller container. No gift at all ? and then, as now, there's always a few of those sort of guests ? and no liquid refreshment at all.

You could always tell apart the liberal giver from the scrooge by the way they left the wedding. The former would reel from side to side, almost missing the door on his way out. The latter might pretend that he was almost as under the weather, but no one was likely to be fooled by the act.

As industrialism and time-keeping came into existence, this hit and miss method of gift-giving was deemed inefficient. Enter the gift register. Now the worry of what to give the couple was taken entirely out of the inexperienced hands of the guest. As long as they could read the couple's stated preferences, they could stop worrying about the wedding gift entirely.

It seemed so easy. It should have been easy. But some people insist on creating problems where none exist.

There seems to be a human need to express freedom of choice and at least one quarter of all wedding guests simply ignore all efforts to get them to buy what they couple want and instead buy them something that they'll never use.

Oh, sure, they'll go to the department store where the couple have registered. But instead of the coffee-maker or water purifier indicated on the list, they will immediately go to that wasteland of wedding presents. That place of luxurious magnificent items whose sight will knock your eyes out, whose price will put you in hock, but whose utility is non-existent.

The bride and groom will spend the rest of their life wondering what to do with that half a ton of crystal. Perhaps they might use it for a salad bowl, if ever 30 guests drop in unexpectedly for lunch. Or a vase, if ever they start their own market flower garden and can afford the couple of hundred dollars of flowers which it needs to fill it.

It seems no matter how hard the bride and groom try to make gift-giving simple and easy, guests insists on going their separate intractable way.

"What would you like as a wedding gift, dear?" they'll ask sweetly. "We really want you to have what you need."

"We could do with some money, gran. This wedding is costing us a fortune."

"I'll get you a tea-set, then, shall I? I saw a really nice one at David Jones the other day."

"Weddings are pretty expensive, gran. Money would be nice."

"Then there's that hall-runner I saw advertised. Very reasonably priced."

"Money is what we'd really like!"

"What about a damask table cloth, and eight napkins to go with it."

"Money, gran!"

"You're absolutely, right, dear. Way too expensive. The tea-set was half the price."

The contemporary couple, marrying for the second, or third, or even fourth time, have a real dilemma on their hands. They need another casserole dish like they need another recipe book, but how can you get that through to people?

Of course, where there's a way, and where there's so many wedding specialists around, a solution was bound to surface sooner or later.

Here's the latest gift-register list.

"Tim and I are going to the Antarctic for our honeymoon and have registered with our bank. For your convenience we've made arrangements for you to select your choice of gifts by using any of the following options ? credit card, cheque, money order or electronic money transfer.

Our most desired item is $50

Desired - $20

Less desired - $10

Least desired - $5"

What will those "doing our own thing" guests do now? Give $100? A $1,000? Bring it on!

Vlady is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant. She is also an author of "Complete Book of Australian Weddings" and "The Small Organisation Handbook". Vlady is a member of Queensland Civil Marriage Celebrants Association and Celebrants Training Association. She is also a member of Australian Authors and Romance Writers of Australia.

You can visit Vlady at her website: http://www.vlady-celebrant.com

---

Butterfly Releases

Butterfly Releases offer the viewer the chance to see beauty... Read More

New Findings on Happiness Have Implications for Rocky Marriages

Not only do individuals who follow Time Magazine's "Eight Steps... Read More

Las Vegas Elvis Weddings

Got a yen for Elvis? Lots of people do. There... Read More

Wedding Rings - How to Choose a Perfect Ring

Selecting a wedding ring isn't as easy as it looks.... Read More

Restore Your Marriage - 5 Ways to Feel Connected to Your Spouse Even on Opposite Schedules

We've all been through times in our lives when it... Read More

Organising your Wedding Stationery

Of all the things you need to do, buy and... Read More

Balance - Wedding Budget Blues

Let's think about what goes into your wedding budget. Your... Read More

Bachelorette Parties: Fun Alternatives to a Wild Night

If bar-hopping and male strippers aren't the bride's idea of... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 4

When Maria Callas first appeared on the international scene, she... Read More

Choosing the Wedding Disc Jockey

Your wedding day is the day when all the details... Read More

Bridal Budget Beware

Getting hitched, taking the plunge, tying the knot, jumping the... Read More

Nine Ways to Save Money on Wedding Photography

Weddings are memorable events couples and their families want to... Read More

Divorce Rate Plummets As More Americans Shack Up Instead of Getting Married

More Americans are taking "til death do us part" seriously.... Read More

Its the Heart (and heat) of the Wedding Season - Sun & Heat Protection During an Outdoor Wedding

So, you decided to opt for an outdoor wedding under... Read More

Wedding Shower Invitations: An Overview

The purpose of a wedding shower is to celebrate the... Read More

Is Conflict Healthy in Marriage?

Today my three-year-old daughter told my husband that she wants... Read More

Top Ten Reasons to Plan a Destination Wedding

You and the one you love are dreaming of an... Read More

Reduce Marriage Problems: Go and Wake Up Your Luck

At one time or another, most of us have had... Read More

Design Your Own Beautiful Wedding Ring

It used to be that if you wanted to buy... Read More

Is Eloping For You?

Believe it or not, there is etiquette on how to... Read More

Dallas Wedding Receptions

The most important day of your life is drawing near... Read More

What Happens If You Dont Wear Proper Wedding Shoes?

Here comes the bride! Walking through the alley confidence holding... Read More

Wedding Reception; From Trendy to Traditional

Wedding receptions are not as formal as they once were,... Read More

Budget Tips For Your Wedding Reception

Wedding receptions are expensive affairs and can set you back... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 6

It wasn't the wedding of the century. Six people in... Read More

Planning Your Wedding Reception

Great deals can be found when you know how much... Read More

Wedding Cake - Bakery Tips

Wedding cake bakeries will have a cake portfolio to look... Read More

The Charm of Homemade Wedding Favors

Homemade wedding favors come from a centuries old tradition of... Read More

Second Marriages. Estate Planning Concerns

One of the biggest areas of dispute in estate planning... Read More

The (American) Bride Wore Red

Increasing numbers of American brides are thinking about doing the... Read More

Wedding Planning Tips and Tricks

Planning a wedding is an exciting thing, and can be... Read More

Let Them Eat Cake -- Just Not at Your Wedding

It's a fact, however odd it seems, that some brides... Read More

Mens Diamond Rings ? The Ultimate Wedding Ring For The Modern Man

Mens diamond rings are becoming more and more popular with... Read More