New Findings on Happiness Have Implications for Rocky Marriages

Not only do individuals who follow Time Magazine's "Eight Steps Toward a More Satisfying Life" suggestions (Time, January 17, 2005, p. A8-A9) increase their own level of happiness, they also increase the odds that they can keep their marriage.

The same actions that can lead to a more satisfying life are the ones that can help to improve a troubled marriage. Two of the Time suggestions are to count your blessings by keeping a gratitude journal and to learn to forgive.

These same steps are necessary to maximize a spouse's efforts to cope with a marriage that is in danger of falling apart. In their book Keep Your Marriage: What To Do When Your Spouse says "I don't love you anymore" co-authors Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D. and Lee Hefner also advise spouses to keep a gratitude journal.

According to Wasson and Hefner, this might seem like a strange recommendation, but it's when things aren't going well that you most need to look for the positive things that are present in your life. They write, "A gratitude journal gives you a nudge to remind yourself of the many blessings already present in your life...Being aware of your blessings gives you a broader, more balanced perspective of your life."

This, they contend, jump starts the process of being able to see an increased number of positives instead of overlooking them as people in crisis often do. While spouses may start out listing positives such as watching a beautiful sunset, the process makes it easier for them to begin noticing what's right about their partner and marriage instead of only focusing on the negative aspects.

The co-authors also agree with the Time suggestion of learning to forgive as a key ingredient in a happy life. They state that "Forgiveness involves letting go of resentment and blame. It's something that you do for yourself when you are ready to let go of depleting anger." Wasson and Hefner contend that shaky marriages are usually full of grudges and hurts from the past.

According to Dr. Wasson, "Someone has to take the lead in making healthy changes that can change the present dynamics of blame and resentment. One partner deciding to forgive themselves and the partner for not being perfect can have an amazing impact on the marriage and its chances to survive the crisis."

The Time article recommends writing a letter of forgiveness to the person who has hurt or wronged you. Co-author Hefner sees this as a "courageous step of taking responsibility for your own happiness and well-being, as well as the health of your relationship."

According to the Time article, University of Illinois psychologist Edward Diener, a.k.a. Dr. Happiness, has found that loss of a spouse is one of two life events that seem to "knock people lastingly below their happiness set point." (The other is loss of a job.) Seventy-three percent of participants in a recent Time poll responded that their relationship with their spouse or partner or their love life is a major source of happiness.

Based on the current findings, Wasson and Hefner state that it makes more sense than ever to recognize the potential of a marriage to boost happiness and health and to work to keep and improve it.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.

---

Choosing a Maui Wedding Package

Just like anywhere else in America, there are a variety... Read More

Wedding Reception Entertainment - Choose Wisely

When planning your wedding, what type of entertainment are you... Read More

Destination Weddings in Oregon

Oregon is one of the most marvelous places in the... Read More

Are You Fully Present in Your Marriage?

"Presence is more than just being there," states Malcolm S.Forbes.... Read More

Saving Money on Your Wedding Reception Using Reception Themes

Just like weddings, receptions are often theme based as well.... Read More

Choosing A Wedding Photographer

The wedding day is the day that most women wait... Read More

Exotic Island Wedding! Where Dreams Truly Come True in Paradise

As a travel professional considering an exotic island wedding was... Read More

Planning Your Wedding - How To Get Organized

You have purchased the latest bridal magazines from your local... Read More

Wedding Favors That Embrace Nature?s Beauty

A wedding planned in the spirit of nature provides the... Read More

Searching For An Affordable Mother Of The Bride Dress

It is absolutely possible to find a beautiful and affordable... Read More

Your Wedding Countdown

This is intended as a guide to help you plan... Read More

Wedding Dresses - What To Wear

You have begun to plan your wedding and you want... Read More

Marriage Counseling: How to Get the Most Value for Your Time and Money

Marriage counseling is an investment of money, time, and energy... Read More

June Weddings

From the book Spider's Big CatchAs June wraps its arms... Read More

Las Vegas Elvis Weddings

Got a yen for Elvis? Lots of people do. There... Read More

Marriage Counseling Advice: Give Your Spouse Space to Breathe and Grow

When you're married, the boundaries between yourself and your spouse... Read More

The Charm of a Gatlinburg Wedding

Nestled in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, Gatlinburg's romantic and beautiful... Read More

Mens Diamond Rings ? The Ultimate Wedding Ring For The Modern Man

Mens diamond rings are becoming more and more popular with... Read More

Whats a Goldfish Doing at a Wedding?

Time was when you'd open a wedding invitation you'd find... Read More

The ?EX? Factor: Why Men and Women Over 50 Don?t Remarry!

Thinking about remarrying? Consider these reasons why others have chosen... Read More

Wedding Lingerie ? Honeymoon in Paradise

There are many things to remember in preparation for your... Read More

Wedding Loans: Perfect Finance Option for a Perfect Wedding

After seeing each other for years and being tagged as... Read More

Bridal Shower Basics

A bridal shower is an excellent way for the bride... Read More

How to Choose a Marriage Counselor

You have made the decision to contact a marriage counselor.... Read More

Is Your Heart Set On An Antique Engagement Ring?

As Mark Twain said "Let us not be too particular;... Read More

How Optimism can Help ? or Hurt ? Your Marriage

Beth and Tom were happily married for over 25 years... Read More

Games For A Wedding Shower

Games for a wedding shower are the best ways to... Read More

Saving Money on Photography for Your Wedding

Weddings are momentous occasions to all people involved; especially the... Read More

Saving Money on Wedding Music

When it comes to wedding music, there are some choices... Read More

Bridesmaids Gifts: a Token of Love, Appreciation and Affection

No one has as much fun as the bride to... Read More

Wedding Centerpiece Ideas

Everybody who has decided to marry wants their day to... Read More

Wedding Loans ? When Wedding Bills Are Postponing the Wedding Bells

Somewhere when you least expected, you find the person who... Read More

Free Wedding Planning Guide and Checklist

With so much to do, every bride needs a surefire... Read More