Resolving conflict doesn't come easily to too many people. Most of us want harmonious relationships and smooth interpersonal interactions. However, we know that disagreements and conflicts are part of any dynamic organization. They arise because people care about their jobs and want to produce good results. Conflict is not always negative, however. Sometimes it should be encouraged when discussion and debate can generate creative, innovative approaches to issues or decisions. Conflict is beneficial when the focus is on finding the best solution. However, conflict is unproductive when it fails to produce mutually satisfying solutions or when it becomes personal in nature.
When you are involved in a conflict yourself, consider these ideas:
· Depersonalize the conflict. Catch yourself when you begin to fall into the trap of believing that the other person is deliberately trying to make a situation difficult.
· At the beginning of resolving differences or conflict, clearly sate your desire to find a solution that will work for all involved.
· Build on areas of agreement before you address areas of difference.
· Remember to listen first and talk second. Ask open-ended questions to draw others out and to encourage them to talk about the conflict.
· Try to arrive at a common goal around which everyone involved can focus, and agree to work through areas of disagreement. In other words, don't agree to outcome that you will not support. Surface reservations that you have and talk with the other person until you can agree on a course of action.
· Dig for understanding without implying criticism.
· Focus on common ground issues and interests of both sides. Find a "win" for all affected parties and avoid entrenched positions.
· Identify specific behaviors in concrete terms and explain the tangible outcomes they have, so that the other person can more easily appreciate the nature of the difficulty.
· Rely on facts instead of judgments or inferences to help you avoid giving feedback that becomes personal.
· Have a goal in mind, a purpose for the meeting or discussion.
Remember to put it in once sentence that attacks the problem, not the person. Secondary issues can divert or confuse matters. However, when you concentrate on accomplishing tasks and the required behaviors for getting the job done, you won't be distracted. Ask yourself, "What is my goal in saying this?" Focus your attention on achieving that primary goal and forget the personal agendas. Keep the outcome in mind. Do you want the person to get angry, or do you want him to start fixing the problem? Maintaining a helpful attitude will keep the other person comfortable and motivated to work with you to solve the problem.
Sometimes the boss is not directly involved in the conflict. Instead, one or more of his or her direct reports are experiencing some problems. When this happens, the first rule is to stay out of it, if you can. Jumping in to fix things may work in the short term, but in the long term, you won't have created anything better. When one of the people involved approaches you and vents, the first thing you can try is to listen empathically. Then, when the direct report finishes explaining the situation, you can ask simply, "What would you like me to do with this information?" Usually the answer will be "Nothing." However, if it isn't, weight carefully whether you should step in. Usually, there should only be two people involved in the conflict. Any more, and things get really ugly and complicated. Encourage the people to resolve things themselves.
However, sometimes you just can't stay out of a disagreement. When productivity starts to suffer or morale is compromised, something has to be done sooner rather than later. If both of the people involved agree that they can't work things out between themselves, the boss needs to get involved.
A beginning strategy is to have both people meet with you to discuss the plan for resolving their differences. But instead of hashing things out right then, invite the participants to fill out some pre-work. This will help you gather the information that will be essential to getting to the core of the trouble. One way to gather this information is to ask each person involved in the disagreement to answer these questions before the actual meeting occurs:
1. What do you consider to be the main barriers to objective and constructive candor as you prepare for this meeting?
2. How can these barriers be eliminated or lowered?
3. What other problems must be resolved before you begin to tackle this problem?
4. Describe the overall nature of your present on-the-job relationship with the other person. How productive is it?
5. How would you describe what an ideal working relationship would be?
6. What have you done to cause the current conflict?
7. What resolution have you attempted?
8. What has the other person done to contribute to the current conflict?
9. What attempts has he or she made at resolution?
10. What major obstacles stand in the way of making this relationship ideal? (Be candid and objective.)
· What obstacles do you introduce?
· What obstacles does the other person introduce?
11. What can be done to eliminate these barriers?
12. What other factors or people inhibit the relationship being ideal?
13. What benefits would accrue if the relationship were improved?
· Benefits to you
· Benefits to other person
· Benefits to organization
14. What adverse consequences might ensue if the relationship is not improved?
· Consequences to you
· Consequences to other person
· Consequences to organization
15. What can be done to improve the relationship so that the benefits are realized and the adverse consequences averted?
· What can you do?
· What can the other person do?
· What can others do?
After the participants have answered the above questions independently of each other, they will be ready to meet with each other discuss their answers. Let them try to do it alone to see if they can. If they can't, have another meeting with you there.
This can be a slow painstaking process, but it works. When each person is taking a turn reading answers to the other and then discussing the answers, volatile outbursts are unlikely. This technique requires time and patience, but it tends to be more successful than the "bandaid" approach.
Conclusion
Effective communication is at the heart of all human activity, and bosses who excel in it also take great strides in developing their people and keeping the stars in the organization. Increasingly, an organization's competitive advantage depends on people, especially on creative, innovative people. Successful organizations must develop, sustain, and market high levels of innovation throughout their infrastructures if they want to maintain their industry leadership. To encourage the pace of this sort of initiative, leaders can no longer rely on a few key individuals to develop creative solutions. Instead, bosses who want to attract, retain, and develop a pool of talented thinkers must know ways to encourage each person's contributions. Effective communication is that way.
Dr. Linda Henman speaks from experience. For more than 25 years, she has helped military organizations, small businesses, and Fortune 500 Companies turn things around by getting the right people in the right place doing the right thing.
Linda holds a Bachelor of Science in communication, two Master of Arts degrees in both interpersonal communication and organization development, and a Ph.D. in organizational systems. By combining her experience as an organizational psychologist with her education in business, she offers her clients assessment, coaching, consulting, and training solutions that are pragmatic in their approach and sound in their foundation. Specializing in assessment for selection, promotion, and development, Linda helps organizations improve their succession and retention initiatives and teaches people to become the boss that no one wants to leave.
Building a 'bridge of understanding' between parties is... Read More
STEPS TOWARDS A GOOD APPRAISAL INTERVIEW:Don't say: "You just don't... Read More
This article begins with a tip of the hat to... Read More
This article relates to the Recognition competency, commonly evaluated in... Read More
Companies are welcoming a diverse range of employees (The Sunday... Read More
The first step in planning an agenda is to identify... Read More
Your organization's continued growth and success depend on making smart... Read More
Most of us would like to be better communicators. As... Read More
Why is it imperative to have a company E-Mail Policy?... Read More
Do you ever need to find some good ideas, or... Read More
A curious thing happens to entrepreneurs in the spring of... Read More
Motivation is a term that is so widely used, yet... Read More
Are you one of those bosses that people just love... Read More
As a child, you probably heard, "to thine own self... Read More
For Call Center managers, it is not a pipe dream... Read More
The company decided to develop and implement an improvement program.... Read More
1) Use a live instructor. Adults learn best by doing,... Read More
1. What is an Issue?An issue is an incident, circumstance,... Read More
Six Sigma is a highly disciplined process focused on satisfying... Read More
Most executives view offshore outsourcing most of all as a... Read More
How long does it take your customers, clients or patients... Read More
I'm often asked to come in to organizations and give... Read More
Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More
Using Employee Opinions Effectively When Designing HR ProgramsEmployee opinion is... Read More
Here are seven dangers of outsourcing your software development. They... Read More
As a recent employee to your job, you are becoming... Read More
Top leaders...Are Visionary Top leaders have a very clear understanding... Read More
Define the Problem First. It seems obvious, but how many... Read More
It has been well documented that employees' productivity and job... Read More
Sexual Harassment Policy Guidelines ? Part IPermission is hereby granted... Read More
Bad news.Your senior vice-president, your marketing director or your accounting... Read More
In light of recent corporate scandals, from Enron and Global... Read More
The wellspring of confidence is belief. When you believe in... Read More
Nothing has changed. Your ancestors lived by faith. Some planted... Read More
Let me tell you a secret.Things don't always go the... Read More
Writing an award winning business plan is a great skill,... Read More
Test your assumptions about everything.Assumptions have a way of creeping... Read More
Do you have piles of paper on your desk. Many... Read More
Military analysts call this "asymmetrical" war (as if war has... Read More
It's the middle of the night. You've woken up with... Read More
Merely assigning a task with detailed instructions is not effective... Read More
An individual's ability to forge effective relationships across cultures is... Read More
Learning comes from many places. And one of the most... Read More
Good news spreads quickly News of the invention of the... Read More
When you first take over a department, expectations are usually... Read More
Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More
Effective leaders are known for being excellent communicators. Here's what... Read More
As a training manager, there are two important aspects to... Read More
Do you announce a meeting and find either no one... Read More
Managers make three mistakes when they try to run businesses.... Read More
Recently, I attended a webinar with nearly 400 other Chief... Read More
Acknowledgement is about recognition or attention from another person. It... Read More
When approaching any decision, it's important for individuals to maintain... Read More
Use your time for problems that are truly important.Hard as... Read More
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never... Read More
I was watching a TV program some months ago about... Read More
Whether your company holds one meeting a week or dozens... Read More
There's a programme currently running on BBC Television in the... Read More
"The difference between a boss and a leader: a boss... Read More
Every small to mid-sized business owner would love to know... Read More
There is a difference between being comfortable and being in... Read More
--PREPARATION: The purpose of the therapeutic approach is to spark... Read More
I saw Brian Kerr (the Irish national football coach) on... Read More
The senior flight attendant on the WestJet flight was starting... Read More
Everyone wants to succeed in life. And no one starts... Read More
In order to survive, you have to be happier than... Read More
Business Management |