The blaring sound leapt under Jerry's skin and strangled him awake in an instant. His eyes popped open in terror and for a darkened moment he forgot where he was.
"Oh, Jeeze," he exclaimed in sudden realization-"the freekin' alarm."
He slammed his wrist on the snooze button and flopped back on the bed.
Nine minutes later the blare cried out again though the awareness came much quicker. Jerry smacked the clock and rolled his feet off the side and out from under the sheets. Slug-like, he dragged his sagging carcass into the bathroom and looked at the face that stared back at him in the mirror.
"Ugh," he muttered. "Nice breath," he added as he frowned and reached for a crusty toothbrush.
Only the growling in his paunch kept him from crawling once more beneath the covers, coupled with the painful knowledge that without a paycheck the cupboard would stand ever more bare and stay that way indefinitely.
"Life blows," he mumbled, scratching peanut butter onto the last nub of bread from a week-old loaf.
Throughout the day, as he most often did, Jerry ran the gamut of emotions, up, down, high, low, from the heavens to the depths, like a yo-yo.
His burst of creativity left him giddy only to morph into a morbid employment dread when the boss shot down his idea.
Jerry rode hard, dominated by one feeling after another, unable to separate or manage or compartmentalize-a black and white tango that left no room for gray.
Upon arrival at home, Jerry walked straight to the mailbox and stood in ritual, leafing through the daily arrivals.
"What?" he exclaimed, a sudden burst of exhilaration.
The envelope read U.S. Treasury across the top.
He ripped it open and began a disjointed funky chicken on the sidewalk.
"Pay to the order of ME-you know that's right," he grunted as he spied his income tax refund.
His bliss came to a jarring halt as he recognized the handwriting on an oversized card beneath the check.
She hadn't returned his calls in several days and though he had tried not to over-analyze, the sinking torment in his gut spoke volumes of his suspicions.
He tore the flap.
Dear Jerry,
This is the hardest thing I've ever done?
He sank to the ground, sat on his front lawn with his head in his hands, frozen. Numbness turned to anger turned to denial, to sorrow and into frustration, to a desire to regain numbness and a quest for his favorite bottle. The unexpected funds mattered little if at all.
Jerry found himself on the couch, alone, with no more company than his misery and his muse.
"Why does this always happen to me?" he questioned.
"Why can't I catch a break? Why can't I spend some time in cruise mode-live a normal space, mellow, stable, even keel-for at least a minute?"
He knew himself well enough not to expect an answer.
He had made this query many times before.
"Why can't I balance better? Why can't my pain and pleasure co-exist? Not like she hasn't discarded me before-why does the rejection so over-shadow my good fortune? Why don't I have any control?"
Still, he persisted, like a dog on a bone.
"If I'm me, then I need to accept me, feast or famine Jerry, the good and the bad, over the top to rock bottom-that's me."
A slight smile returned.
"Yup. That's me," he reassured himself. "In my sorrow, I'll find joy. In my hurt, I'll dig up some love. That's me, yo-yo Jerry."
He stopped nursing the bottle, set it on the coffee table and picked up the stack of mail, all except the card.
"Yup," he repeated. "Not bad, not bad."
He grinned and started laughing.
"Yeah, baby. Pay to the order of?"
That's A View From The Ridge?
About The Author
Author Ridgely Goldsborough invites you to subscribe to The Daily Column, a heart-felt collection of stories that inspire hope and courage. Please do so at www.aviewfromtheridge.com.
Have you had a challenging day or week? Feel a... Read More
You may be one of the thousands who think "Strategic... Read More
Some people dismiss dreams as nonsense, thought patterns running amuck... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 19,... Read More
Once upon a time, in ancient India, a beggar favored... Read More
I grew up in the south in the 1960's. Married... Read More
Life is perfect. If you have read these articles long... Read More
We all know the truism that "charity begins at home."... Read More
I am not going to tell you the story of... Read More
Most of us believe that our happiness and security are... Read More
The greatest achievements were obtained by those who took one... Read More
Here's a nifty trick to use to clear yourself of... Read More
"We come equipped with everything we need to experience a... Read More
I have always rather envied those people who have a... Read More
From my experience some healings come instantly or during short... Read More
Those of you, who can fathom yourselves welcoming and enjoying... Read More
Everything is made of energy. Atoms, molecules, light, sound and... Read More
The first few hours in this world, when we as... Read More
The Emmaus Journal QuietnessAs a state of being, quietness is... Read More
Soaring 700 feet above the forest floor is a granite... Read More
Two years ago I was in a wheelchair and told... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 13,... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 31,... Read More
Never underestimate the power that comes from following your passion.... Read More
I have been a business owner for about a minute.... Read More
I love you not because who you are, but... Read More
How many times have you found yourself dreaming you were... Read More
"You can't harvest what you don't sow. So plant your... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 23,... Read More
It was my first and last experience with a pneumatic... Read More
Life is what happens to you, while you are making... Read More
It was one of those once-in-a-life-time moments. The entire World... Read More
The strength and durability of a building is found in... Read More
Not long ago, I attended a seminar that featured Naomi... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 6,... Read More
Only twenty years ago, people would casually stroll the neibourhood,... Read More
We have just inherited a rag, tag and bobtail of... Read More
Do what you love to do and give it your... Read More
About fifteen years ago I was rummaging through some old... Read More
Have you ever wanted to do something really major-something stupendous-something... Read More
We all question our ability at times. Uncertainty plagues us.... Read More
There once was a happy monkey wandering the jungle, eating... Read More
Even immediately after my car accident, every single person who... Read More
In old buildings there was a boiler room where men... Read More
Today more than ever before, we are witnessing a crises... Read More
A good number of my columns deal with finances and... Read More
Everyone who is anybody has a hobby or at least... Read More
Three Words That Can Help Us Live Exceptional LivesCertain words... Read More
I really like Jack Dempsey's great one liner: "A champion... Read More
"You can't harvest what you don't sow. So plant your... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 22,... Read More
The human brain is very much like a hard drive.... Read More
Think of an adventure that you might like to take.... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 27,... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 18,... Read More
Here's a simple parable with an important moral.Each mirror, you... Read More
I work in a factory, and we have supervisors who... Read More
Change is difficult for many people. Often times our whole... Read More
I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for... Read More
Continued...After that I stayed with him still and when he... Read More
The boogeyman lurking in the closet scares the bejesus out... Read More
The true test in life does not occur when all... Read More
I knew precisely what I wanted. I felt that success... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 21,... Read More
In the Northeast, we have a few months to prepare... Read More
Are you ready for a change? Is it time for... Read More
Inspirational |