Finding Your Dream Date Sometimes Takes Guts!

My husband and I used to live in NYC. WE would often take dog for a walk last night to get her and us exercise. If you've ever lived in NYC, you know there is never any way to know what excitement that you will wander upon. This particular night, we heard some deep gospel sounds coming from a park near Lincoln Center so we wandered over to check out the event.

As we stood in the back with the other dog owners, a gray terrier and another brown dog came over to greet our dog Mallory. In New York, people always ask what the name of the dog is, but rarely take the time to meet and greet the person. Meanwhile, the owners politely wait as the dogs check each other out, and usually move on. This time however, the owner of the terrier, struck up a conversation with us. He told us that his other dog passed away over a month ago and was starting to look for a second dog as a companion for his 4-½ year old terrier. He asked how Mallory was to train, and how smart she was and whether or not she made a good pet. We of course loved talking about our dog and told him everything he wanted to know.

Meanwhile, this guy had a friend who was walking his dog too. The other guy never took the time to come over and say hi or comment on our dog. David, the man we were chatting with explained to Sway and me that the two of them come to NYC from New Jersey with their dogs to meet women. They say that dogs are magnets to women and that they had met quite a lot of people this way. Simultaneously, our neighbors walked by and were surprised to see us talking to David. They had just spoken with him moments before so we all laughed at the coincidence of that.

David told us that he had been married for 11 years and that he was 48 years old. His buddy, Bob, was 49 and had never been married. They both said that by the strike of midnight on the millennium, they would have the one at their side that they loved, and they vowed that each other would be no where in sight! It was apparent that both men were good guys, they were both successful, but only David took the time to strike up a conversation with others around him.

Next, David asked how Sway and I met. He was shocked to discover that we had met 5 years ago on line. We met in a chat room on America On Line, and he seemed genuinely enthusiastic as we told him our story of meeting for the first time. I told him that in order to be as successful with women as he was with us, to be exactly who he was with us. He was interested in WHO we were and WHAT we were about. I explained that because men are visual, their first question on line to women is usually the typical, "what do you look like" and What are your stats?" I told him how frustrating it is to a woman to have to explain WHAT she looks like in order to have an interesting conversation. I told him that women would prefer to have a guy want to get to know her as a person first and then later, even 10 minutes later, looks can be discussed. I also told David that I tell guys on line who ask me what I look like and if I want to trade pictures even before we said hi, that I usually tell the men something that scares them . I tell men that if they have a woman to respond to their proposition, then they are probably REALLY dealing with a man posing as a woman and don't realize it. That usually does quiet them down? and I get a laugh out of it.

When I met Sway on line, one of the most incredible things about him was his concern for me as a person. I was going through a separation at the time and he spent more time asking me my opinion of life and of my situation than of my physical attributes. He could see from my profile that I enjoyed working out and kept fit. That may have kept him involved with the conversation but I chose to think that he had depth and that was why I fell for him.

It was about that time that I noticed my husband Sway, fading fast. He had been up since 5am, just drove 2 ½ hours from Philadelphia and had nothing to eat, and had survived the Lincoln tunnel without having road rage! I quickly told David that we had to go. We traded numbers and cards and promised to call if we had an eligible friend in mind for him.

After we left Sway and I talked about how lucky we were that we found one another. WE knew it could be us walking around the streets in NY late at night hoping to bump into the love of our lifetime. But we encouraged David to upgrade his limited typing skills and then bring his social skills to the Internet. I have no doubt that David WILL meet the perfect one. He is more interested in others than sharing about himself, yet he was also very willing to share his experiences with us and to help us however he could. He was polite and friendly and enthusiastic about everything we discussed.

Meeting David was a bonus that night. We talked, we laughed and we shared tips on life. If I have a friend who is looking, for a relationship I'll definitely keep David in mind. And so will our neighbors who met him too. And Bob? Bob had a dog, which was the first step, but he never risked anything of himself to meet anyone that night. It was my guess that Bob was hoping that people would come up to him to talk about his dog, instead of using the dog to strike up conversations. But most people would be perfectly content to just listen to the music or just watch the people. If Bob wants to meet others, he'll HAVE to learn how to initiate. He may have been afraid of rejection which is part of life, or maybe he didn't see the perfect woman to speak to. Meanwhile, David at least met 4 people, who have 2 friends, who have 2 friends?..

I wonder which one found their soulmate before New Years Eve? I wonder which one was dancing under the stars with a woman who was searching the world for him too? I wonder which one would try different ways to meet people who may set him up with women they think would be a good match? Sorry Bob, I'm putting my money on David.

For more information: Mary@marygardner.com and Web: www.marygardner.com

Mary Gardner, The Charisma Coach! is an Executive Communications Consultant and Trainer. She works with, coaches and trains individuals, sales teams, executives, and celebrities. She owned and operated one of the first coaching institutions on the east coast, CCI, in NYC, Philly and NJ. Mary has appeared on ABC's 20/20 and has self published a book on public speaking. Mary is married to Sway and is mommy to Jeremy 5, and lives in Orlando, FL.

---

7 Tips to Dating Online in Safety

Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So... Read More

How To Make A Lasting Impression

How many times have you felt the urge to impress... Read More

Creating An Effective Personals Ad That Gets Results: Dos and Donts

Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes.... Read More

Seduction Secrets For Men Part 2 - Your Looks DO Matter

When it comes to the topic of looks with women,... Read More

Online Dating: 4 Dating Mistakes You Must Avoid

Did you catch the dating mistakes made during episode one... Read More

Dating Advice for Men: Why Some Women Like Em Younger

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Madonna and Guy Ritchie. Your... Read More

Too Ugly? Too Short? Heres How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths

If you're worried and upset about your physical flaws, which... Read More

The Freedom to Exist

This article will seem like just good old plain common... Read More

Dating Personals! Incredibly Successful, But How Does It Work?

Dating personals offer online dating singles a quick and easy... Read More

CyberCheapskates and Net Gold Diggers

Did you know that Match.com has around twelve million members,... Read More

8 Deadly Dating Mistakes To Avoid!

Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you... Read More

The Train Is Coming

"There is a time for everything, and a season for... Read More

Faster, Cheaper, Better ­ P2P Online Dating Software

There is one thing we all know for certain when... Read More

Should You Go on a Dating Hiatus?

Sometimes we need a hiatus from dating. A "hiatus" is... Read More

How to Get a Girl to Like You

We've all had that special woman in our lives. You... Read More

10 Tips for Seniors Dating Online

We would like to take a few minutes of your... Read More

How to Tell if a Single Woman is Really Interested in You

It's very important to learn how a single woman acts,... Read More

Avoiding the Grand Manipulator

Let's face it...some women can be ruthless. There are certain... Read More

How a Blind Date Can Increase Your Psychic Abilities

So how can a blind date increase your psychic abilities?... Read More

Yahoo Personals Offers a Great Way to Meet and Date New People

With more people turning to online dating every year, it's... Read More

Dating Tips: Share a Little More Personal on Yourself

Have you been dating for a long time but felt... Read More

How To Have A Successful Conversation With Any Woman!

To have a successful conversation with any woman you must... Read More

So, How Big is Your Penis?

As a result of dating for decades and chatting with... Read More

Online Dating for Beginners

There are many online dating sites, all of them require... Read More

e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?

I logged on to a dating site the other day... Read More

Life isnt Sex and the City

A couple of weeks ago, I watched a Sex and... Read More

From Pen Pal Romance to Online Dating

While dating in person usually starts with physical attraction, dating... Read More

Dumb Dating Mistakes Men Make with Women

Do you strike out with single women in the romance... Read More

Online Dating Tips - Five Steps to Creating Your Profile

Creating your online dating profile is an aspect often commonly... Read More

Donald Trump and the Apprentice Rules Applied to Dating

I was reading an article about the Apprentice and some... Read More

How To Land The Catch Of Your Life Without Becoming Sharkbait

However you like to do it, dating is a dangerous... Read More

Online Dating Makes Searching For a Partner Fun

Some have said that online dating is an impersonal relationship.... Read More

Find Reputable Internet Dating Services That Want To Earn Your Trust

Internet dating services are popping up online like dandelions in... Read More