Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very often we make the same dating mistakes over and over again? As outlined in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" sometimes these mistakes can lead to losing the date of our dreams, or possibly being in a bad relationship. I've compiled a list of dating No-nos which will help you identify a possible problem that you can work on to improve your dating experience.
#1 - Playing Games:
When it comes to dating we all have a fear of rejection. This is human nature. So playing it cool and not getting too involved with others makes us feel safe. Only problem with this is you may come off as being cold and aloof. For many people this is a real turn-off. And you may find the date of your dreams slipping away. The best way to find a loving relationship is to be real. People will be far more receptive to you if they believe you are genuine.
An other game people play is the "manipulation" game. Doing things like telling someone you "love them" or you'll "call them" just to have them sleep with you. Then once the deed is done they never hear from you again. This is one of the most cruel forms of manipulation and it must be considered unacceptable in the dating world.
Understand that it is O.K. to be a bit cautious. But you still must be brave and show the real you. Only then will you be able to have a trusting, loving relationship with the date of your dreams.
#2 - Moving to Fast:
Ladies this one is for you. We all fantasize about our future and the man of our dreams. Again, this is only human. But, do you find yourself testing out his last name with yours and you haven't even gone out on a third date yet? Well, if you do it's time to remind yourself to Slow Down. Here's why. Normally for the first 3-8 months of a relationship we are running on euphoria. You know that "head over heels" or that "swept off your feet" kind of feeling that comes with falling in love? Well, there's an actual reason why this occurres. It's from a chemical in our body called oxytocin. Basically, this chemical takes over our brain and it interferes with our ability to think clearly. So, until you've had time to get to know a person, and spend time with him to see what he is really like, it's best not to get to far ahead of yourself. If your expectations become to high you may find yourself heading down the path of heartache, and losing the date of your dreams. Slow Down!
#3 - Are you always talking about your ex?
Carrying old baggage into a new relationship can be disastrous. Sure we've all had previous relationships, and yes your new love will find out about them. But, if you are constantly complaining about your ex, or always comparing your current love to your ex, it will get real old, real fast.
Instead, take some time to get to know this person. Give yourself the opportunity for a new start. Try to work out any old problems before you start up a new relationship. This way you won't allow the old baggage to cloud your judgment and affect your actions with your new love. Always talking about your ex may have you losing the date of your dreams.
#4 - Red Flags:
What are Red Flags? Well, here are some, but there are plenty more. Someone you were scheduled to meet doesn't show up and has no reasonable explanation as to why. - Someone your involved with will not give you their home phone number. - He/she will not introduce you to family or friends. - He/she won't go out in public with you.- Being cruel to a pet. - Being disrespectful to a parent. Yes, all of these are Red Flags. And, Red Flags should not be ignored.
While you should not jump to conclusions about anyone unless you have sufficient evidence that something maybe wrong. If you do feel there is a problem you will need to confront this person and ask for an explanation. If you do not get an acceptable explanation and the situation continues to occur then you need to move on. You do not want to waste your valuable time on a relationship that is doomed to fail.
#5 - Thinking Obsessively:
Are you a worrier? If so, don't let it ruin your relationship with the date of your dreams. Many people will worry over a relationship, even before it has a chance to really get going. You'll worry over what he/she said, or what your response was to something said. You'll worry over whether the relationship is moving to fast or to slow. Or whether the relationship is working at all. And, what will your friends think, your family think and so on. You need to understand that this sort of obsessive behavior is a real relationship killer. Try to build some self-confidence and trust that the relationship will work. And at a pace which is perfect for the both of you.
#6 - The Interrogation:
Do you want to know every detail of someone's life, and try to get it out of him/her on the first date? Well, you can't, not on the first or even the second date. If you come off as "The Interrogator" your new dream date will soon become tired of answering all your questions and move on to someone else. How many kids do you want to have? is not a good opening line on a first date. Just relax, let things happen naturally through simple conversation. Soon you'll know all there is to know about you new friend. So relax and just have some fun with you new date.
#7 - What about your needs?
Do you want kids, but, he/she does not? Did you tell him/her you want kids or are you just going along with his/her idea of life? You must be able to directly communicate your needs. If you don't you will spend your time in a relationship without having your needs met. You need to know what your own needs are and what his/her needs are before starting a serious relationship. When talking about your needs be assertive. Not bossy, naggy or demanding. But, tactful and direct. And, if the two of you can not agree on meeting each other's needs, (what ever they maybe) then it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. In any relationship whether it be personal or business the needs of all parties involved must be met.
#8 - Sacrificing too much:
Do you find yourself doing things to show someone you care that you would never do other wise? Are you letting yourself be used as a "doormat"? Usually this sort of behavior is associated with low self-esteem. Please realize that in any healthy relationship both parties must be treated as equals. And both parties must have their needs met. If this sounds like you re-evaluate your relationship, and if your are not happy get out. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are, without you having to jump through hoops to prove it.
Good Luck!
Marie Clare.
Marie Clare specializes in writing about Dating, Relationships and Romance. Check out her lastest Best Selling eBook "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" plus reviews of the Best Online Dating Sites, FREE Articles, Tips and Advice at http://www.lifematesnow.com
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
Would you like to discover Easy and Creative ideas to... Read More
Okay, you've scored a date with a sexy somebody for... Read More
Here you are single again and ready to re-enter the... Read More
1) Don't look at other womenWhile dating, focus your attention... Read More
When dating we all too often settle for someone that... Read More
When it comes to online dating many people think that... Read More
The building of self-confidence is not difficult, but it requires... Read More
As a Christian, you understand that to visit bars, nightclubs,... Read More
Has a similar scenario like this one ever happened to... Read More
The popularity of online dating has increased dramatically over the... Read More
We all know that online dating will help you to... Read More
Over the past 20 years the face of dating has... Read More
Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So... Read More
Your dating site profile is the most important tool you... Read More
Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you... Read More
With more people turning to online dating every year, it's... Read More
So at last you're sick and tired of the bar... Read More
Familiar with the economics theory of scarcity ? Here's a... Read More
Overwhelmed with family, school, work and volunteer obligations, woman are... Read More
You see it all the time, and it makes you... Read More
The rate of new love and marriages is rising as... Read More
Dating at an older age is not too hard. And... Read More
Does the waiter know how you like your steak, and... Read More
You are on the first date with a girl you... Read More
Wear good clothes, e.g. a good shirt and a tie.... Read More
There is just something that makes women NOT get attracted... Read More
Dating, there are many thoughts that word brings about. Many... Read More
Searching the web for a dating or personals site can... Read More
Until Death Do You Part?That certainly was a lie. Your... Read More
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Madonna and Guy Ritchie. Your... Read More
There are so many dating sites on the net these... Read More
"A Tsuyama singles scene?" scoffs single Mimasaka resident Hiroyiki Matsuda.... Read More
Recently a man I had met through match.com sent me... Read More
Whether you have been dating for years, getting back in... Read More
Seems like everywhere we surf on the Internet nowadays we... Read More
How can you tell if a somebody is interested in... Read More
Well, I have decided to move forward once again. I... Read More
How to find a date? Promote yourself! That's one of... Read More
There is one thing we all know for certain when... Read More
First impressions are important, which is why it is essential... Read More
You have signed up on several large dating sites and... Read More
One of the most frequent questions I am asked is... Read More
Dating Online is currently the Internets biggest craze, and its... Read More
Online dating is as safe, and in some ways safer... Read More
There are lots of Internet dating sites available. Some are... Read More
As part of my research for a guide to style,... Read More
The rate of new love and marriages is rising as... Read More
Like any other society, Latin culture is one that is... Read More
Many of my clients that I coach are single and... Read More
I was reading an article about the Apprentice and some... Read More
Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had... Read More
You see her across the room. Ah, so attractive. But... Read More
Are you a teen who is dating? Are you a... Read More
Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not... Read More
So, you're convinced that you have zero opportunities to meet... Read More
The Importance of FocusPeople are always looking for ways to... Read More
People are talking about adult personals. There's no doubt about... Read More
So, you've decided to join a dating website. You're hoping... Read More
You should show a tolerant and open-minded attitude towards many... Read More
With more people turning to online dating every year, it's... Read More
So, you're a member of every suitable on-line dating site,... Read More
Online dating is a great way to contact and meet... Read More
The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually... Read More
Step aside Hugh Hefner. Elvis King is back in the... Read More
If you're wondering what it means by dating service and... Read More
Most pick-up lines don't work because they are trite, cheesy,... Read More
Dating |