So, How Big is Your Penis?

As a result of dating for decades and chatting with many singles of both sexes, I've gathered some interesting and helpful insights about men and women. Here are a few:

The Age Thing.

New millennium or not, it's still dicy for a guy to ask a woman her age, especially after just meeting, and especially if she's over 35. When dating websites feature 60- year old geezers who won't look at a woman over 39, it's not surpising why some single women are age sensitive. Personally, I don't get the "old guy, young babe" thing, but it is the way some guys think. The other obvious sensitivity has to do with women who desire a family.

The ironic thing is how ignorant many guys are about this issue especially when they're often the ones fueling it. To them, age is just a friggin' number. So, to those men I say, "sure it's a 'friggin' number', and so is the size of your penis." Now there's a friggin' number some guys aren't so quick to discuss.

The Size Thing.

Since many guys will think nothing of asking a woman her age in the first 2 minutes of meeting, try this... when a guy asks your age, smile politely and tell him. Then ask his penis size.

Of course most women I've encountered say they don't really care about penis size. They claim they're simply not as preoccupied with physical attributes the way men are. And judging from the couples I've seen, I don't doubt that theory. But I've noticed there is an area where size does matter to women.

The Height Thing.

I've discovered that a man can be old, fat, bald, with a small penis and criminal record, but God forbid he's short. With the possible exceptions of Danny DeVito and Napolean most women have a real problem with short guys. I've made another observation. A man can be old, fat, bald, with a small penis and criminal record and be short, if he's a great dancer.

The Dancing Thing.

Having the ability to glide a woman around a dance floor is -- for a guy -- like having some kind of super-power over women. Virtually any guy can enter a crowded room, walk up to the most attractive woman in the place, and in seconds be rubbing bods. Try that without music and you're talkin' 3 to 5 at Levinworth. The crazy thing is that most guys aren't into dancing. They're simply clueless.

Bubble baths, football, and porn.

Call it a strong feminine side but I actually like dancing. I also dig bubble baths. Hey, don't get me wrong, I also love football and porn, but I'm telling you if more women were into football and porn and more guys were into bubble baths and dancing we'd probably have a lot fewer divorces. But that's another article.


© 2005 John Follis. All rights reserved.

John Follis is a columnist and nationally published humorist. His essay "MAD AVE" is featured in a pop-culture anthology entitled Mirror On America which includes essays from Stephen King and Dave Barry. He can be reached at john@follisinc.com

---

Win Her Heart With Romantic Gift Ideas

Does your significant other cry at goofy commercials? Does she... Read More

What is Confident Rapport?

The majority of theories on how to pick up girls... Read More

Avoiding the Grand Manipulator

Let's face it...some women can be ruthless. There are certain... Read More

Use The Boyfriending Technique To Get The Girl

In order for a typical woman to have sex with... Read More

How to Be a Great First Date

Okay, you've scored a date with a sexy somebody for... Read More

A Single Mans Astrological Guide to Single Women

ARIES (March 21 - April 19) - She's aggressive with... Read More

Christian Singles and Meet Christian Singles

Christian singles are plentiful no matter what age you are... Read More

The Huge Advantages of Online Dating

Imagine the joy of finding the love of your life,... Read More

The Magic of Flirting

Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not... Read More

Dumb Dating Mistakes Men Make with Women

Do you strike out with single women in the romance... Read More

It Pays For Single Christians To Date Other Like-Minded People

Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's... Read More

e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?

I logged on to a dating site the other day... Read More

10 Tips for Seniors Dating Online

We would like to take a few minutes of your... Read More

8 Steps to Scoring Big in a Bar

If you're single, you've probably gone to a singles bar... Read More

Things To Avoid At Your First Date

Finally, after a year of mending a broken heart, you... Read More

Youve Been Dumped! Heres How to Get Over It

We've all been there. We've fallen in love with somebody... Read More

Why Do So Many People Date Online?

Once upon a time, online dating was a last resort,... Read More

Top 10 reasons to Find a Date Online

I'm often surprised by the number of people who are... Read More

Black Professional, Educated, And Self-Reliant Woman - Why Am I Still Single?

Today there are many single women over the age of... Read More

Self-Esteem

It begins with you, and your attitude. There are a... Read More

Single Sites Are A Great Tool To Network And Develop Fun And Spontaneous Relationships Online

If you're tired of the boring and repetitive local dating... Read More

Top 10 Photo Blunders

The following no-nonsense list was compiled from interviews with long-time... Read More

The Theory of Scarcity in Dating

Familiar with the economics theory of scarcity ? Here's a... Read More

Are You Making These Body Language Mistakes With Your Hands?

Unfortunately, what you do with your hands can be one... Read More

Creating An Effective Personals Ad That Gets Results: Dos and Donts

Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes.... Read More

Do It And They Will Come: Pursuing New Adventures To Find Mr / Ms Right

Are you tired of the whole dating scene? Have you... Read More

How to Make Women Want You

You don't need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a... Read More

Flowers Leading the Way

Online dating is very popular and also provides a safe... Read More

You Dont Have To Be A Genius To Write A Love Poem

Love poems are a wonderfully romantic gesture and can often... Read More

Dating Relationships and Your Future

How Your Dating Life Could Affect Your MarriageIf you've ever... Read More

E-Love at Easter! Part One

Kiki sat on the park bench, staring ruefully at the... Read More

Hes So Not Into You

These are words women don't want to hear when they're... Read More

Dating Tips: The First Impression Matters

Ever had a love at first sight encounter? Totally captured... Read More