We have all heard this warning: You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. Also, human behavior specialists caution that we only have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they form an opinion of us.
With this widely acknowledged pressure to make our case instantly, here are my seven tips for making your first impression strongly positive.
ONE: The greatest way to make a positive first impression is to demonstrate immediately that the other person--not you--is the center of action and conversation.
Illustrate that the spotlight is on you only, and you*ll miss opportunities for friendships, jobs, promotions, love relationships, networking, and sales. Show that you are other-centered, and first-time acquaintances will be eager to see you again.
Recently I attended a conference. At lunch, my wife and I sat with several people we didn*t know. While most of our tablemates made good impressions, one man emerged as the person we*d be sure to avoid all weekend. He talked about himself, non-stop. Only rarely did anyone else get a chance to speak. Unfortunately, he probably thought he was captivating us with his life story.
I applaud this definition of a bore: Somebody who talks about himself so much that you don*t get to talk about yourself.
TWO: You*ll make a superb initial impression when you demonstrate good listening skills. Give positive verbal cues:
Hmmm. . .interesting! Tell me more, please. What did you do next?
Just as actors benefit from prompts, your conversational partner will welcome your assistance in keeping the exchange going.
Nonverbally, you show you*re a skilled listener by maintaining steady eye contact. Remember how you respond to the social gadabout who appears to be looking over your shoulder for the next person he or she wants to corner. Remember, and offer full attention to everyone you meet.
THREE: Use the name of a new acquaintance frequently. Example: Judy, I like that suggestion. Or: Your vacation must have been exciting, Fred. You show that you have paid attention from the start, catching the name during the introduction. Equally as important, you*ll make conversations more personal by including the listener*s name several times.
FOUR: Be careful with humor.
Although a quip or two might serve as an icebreaker, stay away from sarcastic remarks that could backfire. Because you don*t know a stranger*s sensitivities, prolonged joking might establish barriers you can*t overcome, either now or later.
FIVE: Give up the need to be right.
This was Dr. Wayne Dyer*s advice in his wonderful book, Real Magic. Confrontations with somebody you*ve just met will destroy rapport before you even start building it. Wait until you have established credibility before you challenge another*s statements.
SIX: Appearance counts.
Several years ago, a professional colleague offered to meet me for lunch. I decided against wearing a suit, opting for a sport coat and tie. When he showed up in shorts and sandals, the message he conveyed was: Bill, meeting you is a rather ordinary experience, and doesn*t call for me to present a business-like appearance. Not surprisingly, that was the last time I met with him.
True, standards for appropriate attire have changed drastically. Maybe the best advice I can share came from a participant in a communication seminar I conducted. She said: I don*t dress for the job I have now, I dress for the job I want to have.
SEVEN: Speak clearly, confidently, and convincingly.
As a communication specialist, I have to point out that an individual*s speaking style impacts the first impression, maybe more than we wish. Listeners judge our intelligence, our cultural level, our education, even our leadership ability by the words we select--and by how we say them.
Think of Professor Henry Higgins of My Fair Lady, who changed a so-called guttersnipe into a lady, by teaching her to speak skillfully. While none of us occupies the lowly level of Eliza Doolittle, we can keep her example in mind. Rather than mumble, speak so you*re easily heard. Enunciate clearly. Alter your pitch, to avoid the dullness of a monotone. Display animation in both voice and facial expression. Gesture naturally, without canning your movements.
Keep these seven tips in mind. They will reduce your fear of business and social encounters with unfamiliar faces. More positively, you*ll start enjoying poise and success that you thought were beyond your reach.
About The Author
Bill Lampton, Ph.D., wrote The Complete Communicator: Change Your Communication, Change Your Life! As a business consultant, speaker and coach, he helps organizations improve their communication, motivation, customer service and sales.
His Web site: http://www.ChampionshipCommunication.com
E-mail: mailto:drbill@ChampionshipCommunication.com
At heart, everyone's an artist. In practice, of course, this... Read More
This is the third of seven articles in our continuing... Read More
"Success is not to be pursued; it is to be... Read More
There is a thread of certainty that runs through many... Read More
Not everyone is programmed to be a successful businessperson, many... Read More
Rejection is one of the most painful experiences in relationships.... Read More
Go into the fields and country lanes in the spring-time,... Read More
In some of my counseling and coaching sessions, my clients... Read More
Every normal human being learn in his life's each and... Read More
You are a money magnet. Money is flowing to you... Read More
Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break the fall.... Read More
First, I'll need to explain what Law of Attraction is... Read More
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience... Read More
An integral piece of charisma is establishing a presence, so... Read More
Have you ever had "one of those days" when absolutely... Read More
Most people have some aspects of themselves that they would... Read More
Do you have things like a bicycle, jetski, or swimming... Read More
If we could choose right now, this moment, how we... Read More
Max jumped on my chest as soon as the first... Read More
A man is captive within himself. He dwells in a... Read More
Prosperity is management of positive energy. It's individual capacity to... Read More
We almost all think we are masters of our own... Read More
Dick and Jay sat on the ground outside the shed.... Read More
The Law of Attraction teaches us that whatever you focus... Read More
What's most astounding is that the vast majority of business... Read More
Charm did not play a very large role in that... Read More
We all experience a little shyness at times with people... Read More
Our people have no character" is acknowledged universally, at home... Read More
Abundance isn't something you find from the outside. Abundance begins... Read More
Do you know anyone that everyone seems to be drawn... Read More
What role if any, does 'choice' play in the shape... Read More
Character is that which defines us; it's what people will... Read More
I was reminded once again the other day about how... Read More
Recently I had the opportunity to meet a long term... Read More
Good Morning! It's the Island outlaw here again. You know... Read More
Where does our motivation come from? What makes us want... Read More
If you don't know where you are going, you won't... Read More
FENG shui (say "fung shway") is the art of creating... Read More
Gnothi seauton,, said Socrates. "Know thyself."These words remain as true... Read More
"You cannot step into the same river twice"Hericlitus spoke those... Read More
How a few people become the worst victims of life's... Read More
If you could change one thing in your life today,... Read More
In the movie, "The Player" during a scene at a... Read More
If you've been practising the Law of Attraction, then you're... Read More
I would like you to give your full attention to... Read More
Humor has long been considered one of the most effective... Read More
Have you been struggling with making ends meet? Are you... Read More
Imagine that you could boost your confidence, courage, and compassion... Read More
If you find yourself in a difficult situation, don't continue... Read More
Imagine trying to drive at night in your car with... Read More
Tip #1. Find your purpose. Finding one's purpose is the... Read More
As I connect with more and more women I am... Read More
I am a physicist by education, and a practical business... Read More
Wherever you go, there you are. There's no escaping it... Read More
What do people want most in the world? What is... Read More
Our journey through life can lead us to surprising and... Read More
Visualization is an essential tool for attracting your dreams and... Read More
What's most astounding is that the vast majority of business... Read More
Do you know anyone that everyone seems to be drawn... Read More
Recently a friend of mine was talking about all the... Read More
We live in a world filled with beliefs, values, and... Read More
As painful as this realization may be, it is absolutely... Read More
1. The most important one: Have at least one person... Read More
The other day I was walking out of a store... Read More
Clarity!If there is such a thing as a "secret" to... Read More
You limit yourself. Yes, it is true. Each day you... Read More
Attraction |